13. A supernatural event tied up in time. | Script Revolution

13. A supernatural event tied up in time.

Script: 
What I Loved: 

I looked at the beginning and it was refreshing
to see a 'different' outlook in presentation, information
and layout in respect to the draft you created.
I did also notice you have called the script "13" Which is
already a title to a previous recent movie out in public circulation.
If anyone picks this project up "and they should" that could be worked
around basically spelling the name 13 as THIRTEEN with issue.
A small quibble on spelling early on into it and through...
you spelled shitty as (shity) a basic typo. Sorry. I was
being pedantic. Also other punctuation points were at
14+ mistakes something that would be looked at and considered for edit.
In the plot, a shock tactic would hook the reader with
the death of 'ELEANOR' as I wasn't expecting a macabre sequence
but got one, so many thanks! Overall I relate this to a programme like
the 'Avengers' or 'Prisoner' in mood, tone and somewhat of a sanitarium
feel to it all. Again it seems poignant to mention there is a continuity
error with 'Alex' at page 119 too with dying. But apart from that,
I enjoyed it very much.

What I'd Love To See: 

More concentration in grammar and less rushed in style.
Also more motive and back story would've been a good idea.
I would like to see as it goes more attention to the treatment,
from somebody to help. Listen, it's a great script and well done with good work.
I will follow you as well, looking for more great work.

sendnudes