The Human Side. A juxtaposed look at community. | Script Revolution

The Human Side. A juxtaposed look at community.

What I Loved: 

Okay, a Script Revolution writer by the name of Jeff Lewis Mr. asked me by private message to read his script
'The Human Side' so I obliged this request and reviewed it for him. The story is set in Porksville USA
'maybe a fictional place' where different members of the clergy have generally locked horns also ideas about
fund-raising and community spirit described by text in a very simple way. No big treatment to the format,
just a general breeze of words that made the story roll out. Everyone is very single minded delivering mild
discourse and juxtaposition until The Gothic Queen (Introverted and shy) by chance get's a 'make-over' she
reluctantly passes as okay back to what she was maybe originally like. Her first name was Ester.
(the funniest and strongest character) This was half way through her local journey regaining faith in adversity.

The blessing's involving breasts from the log-line at the three quarter point were tastefully described and funny
what Jeff probably wanted, as a connection to make light of differences he sometimes may see in the world.
A vivid line of comedy get's through and easy talking from dialogue completely ensues from a very dry script also
the start. A nice piece that veers near, what if?  

What I'd Love To See: 

The criticism generally would be format issues and the layout as there were many influential details that
could of been incorporated into the script that weren't. Punctuation mistakes were minor 'even still'
a further edit might be beneficial not an entire rewrite. Some art work on the title page would look
really good I feel, and give the sense of a finished piece. The dialogue could of been thicker and of course
a bit more research into the culture of the ways from the clergy mentioned. But the whole script as I
read did have a warm and natural feel to it and a very different outlook that was original.