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FEEDBACK - CTRL (Thriller/Mystery-Crime)

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Jesson Kinder's picture
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Joined: Aug 2021
FEEDBACK - CTRL (Thriller/Mystery-Crime)

What's up, everyone?!

Looking for feedback for my next draft.

Logline: An abused artist -- who regained her sight via a microchip implant -- struggles to sever an unhinged hacker’s connection to her before he breaks its encryption and permanently enslaves her and others.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1G_6ie7uwW22fRtTy0SbX0asHvuXmLr5I/view?usp=sharing

Feedback concerns:

-Characters

-Dialogue

-Tone/Genre

-Story

-Pacing

-Anything I might've overlooked (grammar/crazy typos/etc.)

Thanks!