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Anthony Rodriguez's picture
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Joined: Jan 2021
Log line

I am asking permission to send a query (one page) to a producer, executive producer, director and/or studio about a script that I have.  With this requested permission I send this log line...

 

American Hero’s-Garrett Morgan

An action packed documentary of an American hero for all everyone.  Born to slaves, Garrett Morgan, hero of the Cleveland Water Works Disaster of 1916.

 

Does this make you want to see more?  Unless you have knowledge to add to this post, just PM me yes or no.  I don't want to clutter this post with yes or no responses.  I will reveal results with the query page roll out.

The new Guy,

Tony Rodriguez

 

Brian J. Libby's picture
Rockstar
Joined: Aug 2020

Hi Tony:

It sounds interesting, but in a quick internet search, I see that Mr. Morgan is the hero of that disaster because he invented a particular breathing mask. Is the script about his inventing the mask, or is it about the disaster, or both? That logline suggests to me that the script is heavily (or even solely) focused on the disaster, and if I didn't know any better, I would have thought that Mr. Morgan was a rescuer or engineer who figured out how to divert the water or something. I might strike the first sentence and work his inventing of the mask into the other sentence. 

Anthony Rodriguez's picture
Rockstar
Joined: Jan 2021

Excellent observation Brian.  Thank you and I will look at my sentence structure.  I've only have one, maybe two sentences to grab them.  See, one of my obsticles is I have a publik skool edumication.  No body's fault but my own.  I was a poor student.  I'm a kid from the streets.  I'll send my query page tomorrow.  Quick read, one page.  

Lily Blaze's picture
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Joined: Aug 2019

To let you know, movie taglines and loglines are two different things. Loglines are for pitching, starting conversations, etc, about a potential script. Taglines are for marketing, after the movie is made. This doesn't read like a logline to me, not yet anyway.

Anthony Rodriguez's picture
Rockstar
Joined: Jan 2021

ok.  Thanks Lily.  See.  I'm learning already.  This is a log line because I want to create a want to read.  

Lily Blaze's picture
Rockstar
Joined: Aug 2019

Ah. gotcha. We all want that, for people to want to read. As is, I don't see anything that says the kind of hero. What did he do?

Anthony Rodriguez's picture
Rockstar
Joined: Jan 2021

Ok, my log line has stirred interest into a query page.  Short, one pager.  I'll post the script this weekend.  

 

American Hero - Garrett Morgan

The story begins with Garrett Morgan's up bringing in Paris, Kentucky and his ability at a young age to invent solutions to problems.  Both parents were slaves and raised Garrett in a religious, family type atmosphere.

Within three to five minutes into the story, the action starts when Garrett and his brother Frank witness two children die in a fire.  Efforts to save the children leave a lasting impression that drives him to invent the smoke hood.

Garrett also shows an attraction to white women and they to him, that changes the direction of his life.  

Garrett sells his smoke hood inventions assuming the identity of Indian Chief Walpole to avoid prejudice of his era .  

A short description of the water tunnel and the factual events that lead to the Cleveland Water Works Disaster of 1916 dominate this action packed story.  Garrett Morgan, rescuer of 20 people, 9 of whom died.  A true American Hero for all people.

This script is full of action packed content, prejudice of that era and courage of an American hero, Garrett Morgan.

Tony Rodriguez

Engine57@msn.com        

773-805-6529

Anthony Rodriguez's picture
Rockstar
Joined: Jan 2021

Ok.  I have down loaded my script.  I ask only you read the 1st 10 pages.  I hope it's worthy amongst my peers.

 

The New Kid

Tony Rodriguez

sendnudes