“DEALIO”
By
Lee Allam
FADE In: Inside Dealer dans bando, switches to catty callums house between conversation over the phone
deals on wheels
INT. XXX - DAY
incoming call from catty callum
Dealer DAN
Ah that absolute cat is calling again, 3rd time today *answers phone*
Catty Callum
Yo wagwan g,are you active at the moment?
Dealer dan
Errm yeah I am what are you after fella?
Catty Callum
What strains do you have atm? And will you be about in the evening or not cos I’m going on a night out and I’ll need some gear to get me through it
Dealer dan
I have some loud tutti fruitti and above average danky stardawg atm g and nah I won’t be so you should probably pick them up at the same time.
Catty Callum
Oh, alright mate, can I get a Q of tutti fruitti and just a ticket?
Dealer dan
Yeah, I can do that no problem, I’ll weigh it out now, when and where can you meet?
Catty callum
I can meet whenever boss and did you want to meet at crack alley again?
DEaler Dan
Yeah that’s sweet, I’ll be like 20 mins
Catty Callum
That’s calm, I’ll see you there. Safe g
Dealer dan
Safe *phone call ends* I’m going to underweigh this neek
transiton to crack alley, it’s a dark ominous alley that lingers with the smell of wee
Catty Callum
Where is he? He’s an hour late and it’s freezing
Dealer dan
loud Vauxhall Corsa roaring down the road
Yo g sorry I’m late, traffic was a madders and I had some other deals before coming here, I threw in a bit extra for you bro
Catty Callum
It’s alright bro I only got here a few minutes ago anyway
Dealer Dan
Oh calm then, you got the money then?
Catty Callum
Yh g, I got the full 90
Dealer dan
Yh this one is a bit more cos it high quality, it’ll be 100 if you got that bro
Catty Callum
Oh…….yeah……that’s……fine
exchange product for cash
Dealer Dan
Safe, enjoy that g, it’s loud
EXT. DARK ALLEY – NIGHT
INT. PARK - NIGHT
Callum gets caught by a police officer while he’s smoking a spliff
PC Swinely
What are you smoking there fella?
Catty Callum
Oh…Uh nothing officer it’s just a fag
PC Swinely
Are you sure about that? You know it’s an offence to lie to an officer?
Catty Callum
Alright alright you caught me officer I’m smoking upon the Devils lettuce
PC Swinely
Alright I’m going to have to take that off of you son, have you got any more on you?
Catty Callum
Why are you tryna to smoke?
PC Swinely
This isn’t a joke; it’s better you give it to me before I search you or you’ll be in more trouble
Catty Callum
Ok yeah I have another .5 in my pot
PC Swinely
Alright good, is there anything else before I search you?
Catty Callum
Nope.
PC Swinely
Okay if you say so
Searches Callum
Finds 3grams on him and some cocaine
PC Swinely
Thought you could hide it huh son?
Catty Callum
Bloodclaaart!! yeah I did
PC Swinely
What’s your name fella?
Catty Callum
Callum Smokalotti
PC Swinely
Obviously I can’t let you keep it but if you tell me who you got it from I won’t put it on the system
Catty Callum
I’m no snitch PC SWINEly
PC Swinely
Think about it carefully Callum, you think your dealer gives a toss about you?
Catty Callum
I would like to help you but I don’t know if I can do that
PC Swinely
You got one more chance
PC Swinely stares at him intensely
Catty Callum
Fine, his name is ……
EXT. END SCENE TO BE CONTINUED
FAde Out:
the end
Deleted.