This is the section in which it appears to be increasingly 'the norm' to write about oneself in the third person so as to appear that the text was written by someone else. I can't join in I'm afraid - I'm not a football manager, and this isn't LinkedIn.

I'm no asshole - but you probably wouldn't want me as your best friend.

Take a look at my shit which - uh, I hope you think, well - isn't shit.

Peace and love x