Assassins Don't Pay Rent by Paul Glen Neuman | Script Revolution

Assassins Don't Pay Rent

Charlie West searches for his private investigator uncle's killers, assisted by Philip Spade, a "fictional" detective come to life and the woman who hired his uncle for the case that got him killed.



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On a dark rainy night in Los Angeles, private detective Harold Fast's career and life comes to an abrupt end when he is tossed off the roof of a derelict hotel for the six-story ride to the unforgiving pavement below.

As his late uncle's sole heir, Charlie West finds himself the owner of the Fast Detective Agency. What does he know about being a private eye? Absolutely nothing, but it's a shortcoming about to rectified in a very big way when beautiful Jani Chang storms into the office demanding Charlie return the $10,000 retainer she sent to Harold Fast to locate her missing brother.

With Jani convinced Charlie and Harold Fast are one and the same, it's only after Charlie shows her his uncle's body down at the city morgue that Jani accepts the truth. Fine. All Charlie needs to do is fork over her $10,000 retainer and she'll be on her way.

Charlie explains he doesn't have the money, but Jani isn't willing to give up that easily. Until she gets a refund or Charlie finds Joey, Jani tells Charlie she isn't going anywhere. Even when Charlie points out that it was probably the job Jani hired his uncle for that got Harold Fast killed, Jani doesn't back down.

After agreeing to meet Jani later at her apartment to begin their investigation, with night falling on Los Angeles, Charlie returns home only to have someone attempt to run him over while he's crossing the street. What prevents this from happening is a complete stranger, appearing out of nowhere, body slamming Charlie out of the path of the oncoming car.

Charlie's stunned when he gets his first look at his mysterious benefactor. It seems that before Uncle Harold opened the Fast Detective Agency, he authored twenty-five novels featuring intrepid detective Philip Spade.

Now, staring at the man who's just saved his life, Charlie realizes he's the same Philip Spade as illustrated on the covers of his uncle's paperbacks. Same lantern-jaw, same trench coat, same everything.

Turns out Philip Spade is real and very much alive...he's just not human. Oh, and the books his uncle wrote? All based on genuine Philip Spade adventures dictated to Uncle Harold for publication.

Why has Spade shown up now? To track down those responsible for Harold Fast's murder and bring them to justice. It's a decision that soon pits Charlie and Jani and the legendary Philip Spade against ruthless killers determined to make sure this particular case will be the last one for Philip Spade and his friends.

All Accolades & Coverage: 

Finalist in
Quarterfinalist, Emerging Screenwriters - Genre Screenplay Competition 2021
Quarterfinalist, Creative Screenwriting Animation Screenplay Competition 2021
TOP 26% of discoverable projects on Coverfly

Submitted: November 13, 2021
Last Updated: November 14, 2021

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Paul Glen Neuman's picture

The Writer: Paul Glen Neuman

Screenwriter. Novelist. Playwright. Actor. Singer. Songwriter. Military brat. About Me I am a multi-optioned screenwriter who enjoys writing in a variety of genres. My scripts reflect my background as an actor, director and playwright. Eighteen published books. Novels sold in the U.S., Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, and throughout Scandinavia. My produced comedy feature All About Books - The Movie was released in 2018 and distributed by Caps Media Ventura. As a professional writer I am dedicated to creating the best screenplays and novels possible. Thoughts on Writing Writing isn't something you happen to do; it's something you must do. The ability to write is a gift. You can be... Go to bio
Law Firm: Law Office Richard N Joseph 8383 Wilshire Blvd Beverly Hills, CA 90211 (323) 782-1776

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