Shootin' The Shorts
Shootin' The Shorts is run by J.E. Clarke a longtime prolific screenwriter who loves to give others a little boost in the marketplace by highlighting why she believes their short script may stand out. She brings with her a loyal band of readers who share the same compassionate attitude who have joined her cause as it's grown and grown to connect writers with filmmakers on a monthly basis. Now it finds a home here on Script Revolution.
This is all about highlighting what makes a script great by focusing on the positives. You'll find no negative criticism or lists of issues here. Submitting a short script for consideration couldn't be easier, simply scroll down to the bottom of your script edit page and tick the "Submit to Shootin' The Shorts" checkbox. Please note; it takes time to get through all submissions, everything is subjective, and we're by no means saying these are the best short scripts on Script Revolution, they are simply the ones that have found an admirer within this section - CJ
Exit Strategy - Sometimes, Exit is Not An Option....
EXIT STRATEGY
First dates require courage, resourcefulness and originality -- and that's just to get out of the bathroom.
Mike Tyson once famously said: ‘Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face’. In other words, despite our best hopes and intentions, we’re all at the mercy of our body’s ability to cope with pain. And if you find yourself suddenly thrust into the grips of severe discomfort, all measure of rhyme and reason is flushed down the toilet, so-to-speak.
Such is the hilarious predicament at the heart of ‘Exit Strategy’, written by Rick Hansberry.
Meet Chase and Vicki, a pair of good-looking twenty-somethings on a first date at a restaurant. And from all appearances, it’d appear the evening has gone better than either of them expected.
(VICKI) touches (CHASE’S) hand, smiles.
VICKI
I’m so glad this worked out.
You’ve restored my faith in the ’fix up.’
Chase cups his hand over hers, glances at his watch.
CHASE
We better get going if we’re going to make the movie.
But if you’ve been around the block a few times, you know by now that life has a rather perverse way of snatching misery from the jaws of mirth.
Chase reaches for his wallet. His face contorts. He clutches his belly, winces again. He rises, rubs his stomach.
From that point onward, it’s all downhill for Chase. He rushes to the men’s room, only to find that the stall is closed, as a janitor is cleaning out what must be a rather nauseating mess.
Desperate, but stuck, Chase seeks an alternative. Knowing that if he doesn’t find refuge soon, the janitor won’t be the only one dealing with a nauseating mishap.
Chase paces, looks around, reacts to another stomach murmur.
A Woman exits the Ladies Room. Chase checks his watch, then -- Ducks into the Ladies Room.
Unsurprisingly, things just get worse from there, as Chase tries his best to be discreet, yet is unable to experience a modicum of sweet relief, as woman after woman enters the bathroom.
To make matters worse, Vicki is now left alone at a table, wondering what happened to her date. Just when she thought it was safe to swim in the dating waters again, along comes the poop shark. Alas, she’s oblivious to Chase’s surreptitious turn to the toilet, and therefore assumes the worse. Consequently, she dumps on Chase a scathing voicemail.
VICKI (into phone)
I spoke too soon on my restored faith.
In fact, you’ve validated it. You not only bail on the rest of the night,
you stick me with the bill. Pay backs can be a bitch. Hell hath no fury...
Vicki slams her cell shut and pushes out the door.
Rick Hansberry’s uproarious screenplay is a scatological delight. In particular, Chase’s slapstick shenanigans are reminiscent of Mike Myers and Gene Wilder in the pomp. So, if you are a filmmaker with a penchant for comedy, and are looking for witty material to hone your skills, then this is just about the perfect match.
The Script
About The Reviewer
Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more
About The Writer
Rick Hansberry is an award-winning screenwriter with more than 20 years of industry experience. With several produced credits on his IMDb page, Rick has written, produced and directed several short films. 2017 saw the release of two feature-length films, "Alienate" and "Evil In Her." 2018...Read more
When the Snow Melts - Winter Isn't Always a Wonderland
WHEN THE SNOW MELTS
A community wakes on Christmas morning to discover their children have vanished.
Snow falls gracefully toward the ground on a cloudy, winter day. A SNOWMAN sits in the yard of a house, perfectly built with a carrot nose, rock eyes and mouth, and a scarf.
Before the snowman stands GRACIE (17), dressed in winter layers with a backpack on.
Gracie looks around the neighborhood. From afar sits another snowman in another yard.
She looks back at the snowman before her. Her face twists from solemn to angry.
She walks up to the snowman and PUNCHES the head off.
Christmas in Rolling Oaks; an unassuming suburbia of snow covered yards and community spirit. But what should be a time of joy and goodwill to all is about to descend into a season of tragedy and horror.
Christmas morning, 17-year-old Gracie and her family awake to a commotion in the street. Stepping outside, they’re greeted by the sight of frantic parents gathered in search of their children. House by house the terror spreads—none are to be spared. The children of Rolling Oaks are nowhere to be found.
All Gracie can do is watch from afar as a desperate community demands answers. Days turn to weeks and as the cold reach of winter recedes, so a grisly secret is revealed in its wake…
Sean Elwood’s When The Snow Melts delivers a subtle horror underpinned with a rising sense of dread that seeps into the bones like a midwestern winter. With its low page count, sparse dialogue and simple location, this is a fantastic project for a filmmaker looking to hone their craft. Sure, you’ll need the conditions to pull it off; but when the snow melts, you’ll be glad you did.
The Script
About The Reviewer
Started writing scripts around five years ago after realising his social life was vastly overrated. Enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit - from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount...Read more
About The Writer
Sean Elwood is a 29-year-old writer who has a knack for everything horror. He started writing short stories as a kid and soon developed a love for screenwriting at the age of 14. From then on, he continued to write both short and feature screenplays as he perfected his writing, and soon attended...Read more
Lakeside - Nature's Not So Peaceful...
LAKESIDE
A weekend of fun becomes a fight for survival when
four teenagers find themselves at the mercy of an ancient curse.
Free from the academic grind, four high-school grads set out on a weekend of celebration at a lakeside retreat. There’s the sensitive Darleen and her troubled beau, Ian; and their tag-along classmates, Carolyn and Moe.
It should be a destination set for youthful hi-jinks and romantic pursuit, but beyond the tranquil shore lies a dark secret. The roots of which stretch deep into the past; to a legacy of terror and tragedy that awakens every six years to fulfil its bloody rite.
As Darleen and company are soon to discover, the skeeters aren’t the only thing that’s out for blood...
Ian leads Darleen up to the front door. He steps inside, but Darleen hesitates. She turns back. Glances uneasily at the lake. Peaceful, as dusk falls upon it...
Darleen steps inside. She closes the door behind her.
Lake water laps the dock, bathed by a peaceful moon...
We quickly glide across the water to the island. Close in on the tree-studded bank...
The sound of a heartbeat...louder...louder...
A solitary tree trunk bathed in moonlight...with a gaping hole in the bark...
Blood bursts from it, streaming down in pulses like a punctured artery…
...the lakehouse, across the water. Its windows glow…The heartbeat grows louder still...
A GREAT SPLASH. The heartbeat cuts off. Dark waves surge against the island's bank.
Fortunately for them, help is at hand from old family friend and local survival enthusiast Bill. With his faithful hound Clementine in tow, Bill rallies the teens in time to meet the threat head on.
Brace the doors; barricade the windows; and whatever you do, keep the toilet seat down.
For this is an evil that knows no bounds.
Rob Barkan’s Lakeside plunges its young protagonists into a tale of mystery and horror with a unique adversary. The writing shines, teasing the reader with hints of what’s to come before opening the flood gates and letting the horror flow.
It might not be a project for first time filmmakers, but for those with a creative vision and a love of all things horror, there’s a story here for you.
The Script
About The Reviewer
Started writing scripts around five years ago after realising his social life was vastly overrated. Enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit - from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount...Read more
About The Writer
Rob has been writing horror, fantasy and science fiction since the age of seven. He has placed several short tales in small press and online magazines like Lovecraft's Weird Mysteries, Dark Planet and Strange Fire. A more extensive collection appeared on his award-winning Deathlife Gravesite. He...Read more
Breeding Material - Who's Got the Right Stuff?
BREEDING MATERIAL
“Unable to have babies the old-fashioned way, people from the distant future travel back in time to find suitable breeding material.”
Recently, science fiction’s experienced a realism renaissance.
Gravity, Interstellar, and The Martian won praise from audiences and scientists with accurate portrayals of complicated theories. And one will note – deservedly so. But while veracity is a nice touch, films are ultimately entertainment at heart.
Sometimes, what we want is just a touch of flippancy – with the backdrop of science to dress it up.
Breeding Material is unashamedly the latter. A script which has all the classic SF tropes: the crazy, exposition-spewing scientist, time travel, and an everyday person thrust into a world beyond their wildest dreams.
Oh, and ice cream. More on that, soon enough.
Here’s the situation: Attractive young Jennifer snoozes in her apartment, when a space-time portal opens next to her bed. The portal spits out two young men in Lycra suits. Ones that head the poor girl’s way.
The duo waste no time in claiming Jennifer as a kidnapped third wheel – dragging her back through the continuum of space time.
When they enter the futuristic lab of Professor Zork, the trio quickly morphs to a quartet. And to Jennifer, this Zork guy is a grade A Perv – creepy, old and unkempt.
To make matters worse, he already knows Jennifer’s name, and asks her to provide eggs for his experiment. Not scrambled – the “Human-kind”. This is tale won’t be “over easy” soon.
Why would Zork want such things? In order to create fertile offspring for his cherished sons, Ben & Jerry.
Look at it this way: at least Zork didn’t name them Rocky Road or Mint Chip. Let’s just say that 2000 years in the future, ice cream is a melting legend of the distant past.
And there are other things we store in freezers, that might prove useful to Zork too…
Featuring witty dialogue and commentary on modern society, Breeding Material certainly reproduces entertainment well. Whether it’s via Tinder, Match.com, or STS (that’s STS, not STDs)… This script seeks an attractive directorial mate!
The Script
About The Reviewer
That guy who does a load of STS reviews and writes when he's not working or reading superfluous interesting articles. My filmmakers Rushmore is Nolan, Kubrick, Hitchcock, and Eastwood. Psychological thrillers, crime, and dramas are my thing, but I'm impartial to anything that's...Read more
About The Writer
A curious nature has led me down many paths: former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant, recovering golfer and more recently, an award winning and produced scriptwriter.
As a writer, my voice is character driven,...Read more
Hitman's Retirement Party - Is a Celebration in Order?
THE HITMAN’S RETIREMENT PARTY
Retiring is never easy…
A crim’, a clown, and a cat walk into a bar…
Sounds like the opening gambit of a joke, doesn’t it? But there is no bar, and delightfully these three characters are the headlining cast of John Hunter’s screenplay, The Hitman’s Retirement Party.
A rather gruesome opening scene introduces us to titular character – Bill, 60s, balding, glasses, – an ordinary looking Joe Blow, who if you met him on the street, he’d easily pass for an accountant, a bank manager, even a local handyman. But Bill’s anything but what he appears to be. Fact is, he’s a cold calculating killer, fast, methodical, deadly. At the front door of a mark’s house he takes out a small caliber pistol, pops the guy unceremoniously twice – a bullet in the eye, one to the head, one final parting shot to the temple for good measure. As Bill says: It’s nothing personal…
It’s just all in a day’s work. After forty years on the job however, Bill’s decided it’s time to hang up his holster for the last time. A quick call to management to inform them. Now it’s time to kick back and enjoy the spoils of retirement with his loyal sidekick, Buddy.
Buddy is Bill’s best friend, he’s been there for Bill through thick and thin. He’s the one Bill comes home to every night. You might say he’s his soft place to fall – always eager and happy to see his best mate, Bill.
As with all great sidekicks Buddy is the silent type, but don’t be fooled, there’s usually a lot going on – think: Jay and Silent Bob, Penn and Teller, Han and Chewie, The Chief and McMurphy.
There’s just one thing though… Buddy’s a cat. A meow, perhaps an affectionate coil around the legs, is likely about all you’ll get. Despite this, Bill believes he and Buddy share their own special repartee, a symbiotic relationship of sorts, least this is what Bill thinks…
But someone’s about to come between Bill and Buddy, test their loyalty and their future happiness. That someone is a clown named Terry who just so happens to turn up unannounced at Bill’s front door, dressed in fuzzy orange wig, big red nose, large floppy shoes, and holding a handful of helium filled balloons.
Has he come on behalf of management? Bill’s last phone call did lead us to believe he might be in line for a proper sendoff. Perhaps the clown comes with a parting gift, maybe a nice gold watch, or a little retirement bonus? After so many devoted years of faithful service, it’d be no surprise. Or would it?
Well you’re going to have to get to the punch-line – I mean denouement – yourself. Suffice to say John Hunter weaves a Hitman story with a difference, cleverly executed through dark comedy, tongue in cheek dialogue, the element of surprise, and some rather lovely dry wit.
Our parting shot? That Hitman’s Retirement Party is a killer script, sure to draw even the best filmmakers out of retirement.
The Script
About The Reviewer
L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently...Read more
About The Writer
A curious nature has led me down many paths: former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant, recovering golfer and more recently, an award winning and produced scriptwriter.
As a writer, my voice is character driven,...Read more
Honey Mustard - Little Things Mean a Lot...?
Honey Mustard – The Perfect Horror Short for Our Times?
A waitress snaps after not being tipped and torments a rude customer.
Michael Kospiah’s short Honey Mustard opens with a moment everyone can relate to. After receiving bad service at a restaurant, Frank stands up for himself and complains to a “smart-aleck” manager who obnoxiously chews gum the whole time.
FRANK
It’s one of two things. Your waitress is either a
complete retard or she was trained by a complete retard.
Of course, Frank’s approach has much to be desired. But, in principle, he’s not wrong.
FRANK (CONT’D)
It says it comes with honey mustard, right? That’s what it says? I asked your idiot waitress for honey mustard five fucking times.
Frank isn’t likable, but he’s relatable.
FRANK
Listen. I’ve had a very bad day. All. I fucking wanted.
Was honey mustard with my God damn chicken fingers.
While Frank complains, his server Patricia is nowhere to be found. Instead she’s on the phone in the bathroom, “mascara smeared from tears.”
PATRICIA
I just wanna see my son.
(heartfelt)
I’m really, really trying. I’ve been working like crazy –
Patricia’s immediately likable, a true underdog, but she’s no saint. She currently has no visitation rights to her son, because SHE’S behind on HER child support payments. Also, by talking on the phone, she’s ignoring “her only table” and violating the diner’s no phones on the floor policy – something she’s been warned about before.
And so the dance begins. Throughout Honey Mustard, audience loyalty ping-pongs back and forth between Frank and Patricia. When Frank doesn’t leave a tip -- pity for Patricia, hatred for Frank. When Patricia pockets Frank’s ID with his home address -- fear of Patricia, concern for Frank.
Frank and Patricia’s collision course climaxes at Frank’s cheap apartment later that night. In bed, Frank watches the news.
NEWS REPORTER
(from the TV)
…massacre at a local diner where five employees and
two customers were brutally gunned down.
One of the employees has been reported missing from the scene...
Then the doorbell rings.
Michael Kospiah’s short Honey Mustard continuously defies expectation by constantly being two things at once. It’s over-the-top but also restrained. It’s kitschy but also deeply grounded in emotional reality. At the end, your jaw will drop in shock, but the corners of your mouth will also turn up into a wicked smile.
The Script
About The Reviewer
B. S. Carter began his writing career in second grade writing one-page (wide rule) sequels to movies like The Terminator, Ghostbusters, and City Heat (it’s a Clint Eastwood-Burt Reynolds buddy picture). B. S. dreamed of being a filmmaker, but either through laziness, ADD, or fear, he never...Read more
About The Writer
Hey, what's up?
I'm an award-winning screenwriter based out of New York City who specializes in darker subject matter and themes. My first produced feature film, "The Suicide Theory" won the Audience Award at the 2014 Austin Film Festival as well as the Grand Jury Prize...Read more
The Nu You - Good as New?!?
The Nu You
How far would you go to be beautiful?
Cindy’s world is full of beautiful people. They flash beautiful smiles and wear beautiful clothes while driving beautiful cars. Cindy, with her unibrow, rudder nose, and wonky boob, is sure of one thing: she does not belong. But could she? If she’s willing to pay the price…?
The Nu You clinic offers Cindy the chance of a lifetime. They can grant Cindy’s cosmetic wish list with a complete assortment of corrective surgery. And the best part is that she can sleep through the entire recovery process, and awake from her ‘beauty nap’ reinvented as her best self.
But just how much will all this cost, and is beauty the only thing that Nu You is selling? Behind an unassuming office door lies a sinister secret. One that’s waiting for Cindy’s appointment day…
Think the cerebral parts of The Island (though trust me, this ain’t no Michael Bay pic!) with a hint of Gattaca, and a smart, snappy, satirical slant.
Our world today is chock-full of rake-thin models, celebrity worship, and harmful body-image trends. As a scathing critique of our modern celebrity obsession culture, it is destined to be a contemporary festival darling. Perfect for a director with an understanding and affiance for dark humor with social commentary.
So come in, have a seat. The Nu You awaits. Are you – and Cindy – ready to take that step?
About the Reviewer: Dane is an attorney based in Hamburg, Germany. He has over 10 years experience with film and film theory and once got to kick-in a door for the German equivalent of CSI. He is currently working on a full-length screenplay that he describes as “a music bio-flick with a kick”.
The Script
About The Reviewer
Known for her unique characters and plots, J.E. Clarke has optioned her feature length horror, "Containment" with Primestar Film Group (director Mike Elliott of Scorpion King 4 attached), her SF feature "Stream" with Purryburry Productions, John Noble of "Fringe...Read more
About The Writer
A curious nature has led me down many paths: former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant, recovering golfer and more recently, an award winning and produced scriptwriter.
As a writer, my voice is character driven,...Read more
Shakespeare, Extra Cheese: Everything's Better With Pizza... Right?
Shakespeare, Extra Cheese
A young man’s life takes an unexpected turn after he encounters a naked woman performing Shakespeare.
The job of a pizza delivery driver is a pretty thankless task. They have to deal with the weather, tight deadlines, terrible pay, and then there’s the customers…
Young Bradley is one of these unfortunate drivers of our favourite fast food delight. On one initially mundane shift, he's confronted by a customer who doesn’t offer the normal abuse about timing, a bad tip, or simple rudeness. Instead, she gives him... nudity and the words of the Bard?!?
A moment later, the door opens and an attractive NAKED WOMAN (30) appears. But Bradley is busy pulling the pizza out of its insulated case and isn't looking at her as he speaks.
BRADLEY
How ya doin'? A large with pepperoni, onion and extra cheese.
That'll be nineteen eighty-sev...
Bradley looks up, pizza in hand. His jaw drops as he gets an eyeful.
NAKED WOMAN
(with real feeling)
Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here.
And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full of direst cruelty!
Make thick my blood; Stop up the access and passage to remorse,
that no compunctious visitings of nature shake my fell purpose,
nor keep peace between the effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts,
and take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers,
wherever in your sightless substances you wait on nature's mischief!
Come, thick night, And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell,
that my keen knife see not the wound it makes, nor heaven peep
through the blanket of the dark, to cry 'Hold, hold!'
A beat. The naked woman drops character. She reaches out and grasps the pizza box.
NAKED WOMAN
Lady Macbeth from Act One, Scene Five of Macbeth by William Shakespeare.
Bradley, frozen, relinquishes the pizza box as the naked woman smiles, steps back and closes the door. Bradley blankly stares at the closed door, his hand that held the pizza still extended.
Confusion reigns as the poor young man is left there on the doorstep, pizza gone and no money exchanged.
He returns to his work where his boss is furious, and clears up any doubt as to what should happen next. Returning for the money, Bradley's once again foiled by nudity and Shakespeare. Curse that confounded and devious bard!
As the comedy and chaos continue, the script slowly starts to turn - teasing the reader towards an unexpected - and exceptionally funny - end.
Shakespeare, Extra Cheese, is a witty short that keeps the reader guessing. Who is this strange woman? Why is she naked? And what on earth shall become of poor Bradley? If you're a film maker that likes funnies wrapped in eternal prose, this is one surreal skit that pays off!
The Script
About The Reviewer
Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...
Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more
About The Writer
Garry Messick is a 2005 graduate of Palm Beach Film School. He has written and directed three short films: THE FLYER and GONE were selections of the Palm Beach International Film Festival in 2005 and 2006 respectively, and AN IMPERIAL MESSAGE was shown at the 2008 Action on Film Festival...Read more
Fun Size: Sometimes, Big *is* Better...
Fun Size
A trick-or-treater is angry after receiving a “fun size” candy bar.
Halloween may have been and gone for 2019, but everyone’s favourite costume themed day lives on in Jason K. Allen’s dark comedic short, Fun Size.
A doorbell rings and an innocent old man, Elmer McDaniel, greets a little “ghost” on his front door step. The usual Halloween pleasantries are exchanged, along with a few fun sized candy bars.
But the size of the sweets on offer quickly pose a sticky and not-so-sweet problem for the little ghost and our elderly friend.
KID
Trick-or-treat!
Elmer grins. He reaches inside and grabs his platter of candy. He takes a couple of tiny candy bars and drops them into the kid’s bag. The kid stares down into the bag.
KID
What was that?
ELMER
Candy bars. Fun size!
The kid nods knowingly. He turns toward the bushes.
KID
It’s him.
Two kids emerge from the bushes -- a witch and a goblin.
KID
You’re Elmer McDaniel, right? Inventor of fun size candy bars?
ELMER
Yep, that’s me! Fun size Elmer!
The three kids look at each other. They study Elmer.
KID
Tell me: What exactly is fun about miniature candy bars?
I fail to find the hilarity.
ELMER
I, uh... well...
KID
Did you get fun size candy bars when you were little?
ELMER
Well, no. We had... regular size.
KID
That’s what I thought.
With Elmer’s true identity revealed, and the now angry ghost joined by two of his costumed accomplices, the old man’s pleasant evening takes a turn for the worst. Will our geriatric friend survive the unhappy youths, or fall victim to their candy related, sugar fueled rage?
A short and witty script with minimal locations and budgetary requirements, Fun Size is just waiting for the right film maker to bring it to life. Halloween may indeed be no more for this year, but this is one "goulish" indie skit that would make the ideal project for someone looking for a seasonal release in 2020!
The Script
About The Reviewer
Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...
Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more
About The Writer
Jason Allen is a writer and filmmaker from Nashville, TN. He is also a wilderness guide, nature photographer and award-winning journalist. His first produced screenplay was the 2009 feature comedy Lucky Fritz, starring Corey Feldman and Julia Dietze. Since then he's won Best Screenplay honors at...Read more
1-800: Reaching out to touch someone can have unexpected results...
One Eight Hundred
A desperate man comes across one too many misunderstandings when he phones a series of hotlines in search of a fix for his problems.
A drunken mess of a man stumbles down a foreboding dark alley towards a lone phone booth. He fails his first mission in not being able to put his loose change into the machine, but then regards the graffiti and stickers that cover the walls of his new surrounds, and finds a series of numbers to helplines that may or may not give the answer to whatever question it is he seeks.
The choice of helplines include those for drugs and alcohol, gambling and mental health, and our protagonist, the Caller, decides to call each of them for a quick chat.
The Caller picks up the phone and DIALS the first number. He hears the PHONE RINGING in the earpiece. A VOLUNTEER answers.
VOLUNTEER #1
Drug and alcohol hotline.
CALLER
Yeah, hello? I got an alcohol problem.
VOLUNTEER #1
Want to tell me about it?
CALLER
All the liquor stores are closed.
VOLUNTEER #1
It’s late. Are you alright, Sir?
CALLER
Yeah, I’m okay. So how does this work?
Can I pay you guys by credit card?
VOLUNTEER #1
There’s no charge for this service, Sir.
CALLER
You mean it’s free?
VOLUNTEER #1
Yes.
CALLER
Wow. Send me whatever you got, then.
VOLUNTEER #1
Pardon?
CALLER
Anything. Surprise me. I’m at the corner of, uh...
(looks around)
Broad Street and Wellington.
VOLUNTEER #1
This is a telephone help line, Sir.
CALLER
The telephone works fine.
That’s not what I need help with.
VOLUNTEER #1
You need help with your drinking...
CALLER
Yeah. How soon can you bring it?
VOLUNTEER #1
Sir, this isn’t a delivery service.
This is a hotline for people with alcohol problems.
CALLER
Yeah? Well right now, being out of booze after hours is my problem.
The Caller’s misunderstood pestering of each individual helpline is vexing for their volunteers, but in an unforeseen twist, our tragic central character may have met his match on the other end of the telephone, when he pesters the one volunteer group he really shouldn’t have.
From the imagination of author David Pauwels, One Eight Hundred is a wonderful little dark comedy that keeps the reader engaged, and is guaranteed to garner some laughs. With a simple setting and premise, it is also ideal for a film maker who is looking for a short that entertains.
The Script
About The Reviewer
Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...
Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more
About The Writer
Dave has written and optioned a number of shorts and features, as well as a novel, Who Iced The Snowman?, published by Cozy Cat Press in 2016.
His main genre is comedy, but he also leans towards sci-fi and paranoid/conspiratorial thrillers. He performs standup, plays bass, and...Read more
