Aisle Browsing
A run-down man with an active imagination blames his wife for all the wrongs in his life
so he searches the aisles of a hardware store in search for the perfect murderous tool.

Window shopping in big-box hardware stores is fun…

Ain’t it?  Well, if you’re a certain type of person, it most definitely is. Scoping out all the nifty tools that can change your house, and life. Hammers. Nails. Paint. Saws-alls. Implements of creation. Destruction too… if you think like that.

Meet Joe (50s), “perpetually tired, over grown beard.” As Steven Blows’ Aisle Browsing opens, Joe’s sliding into the parking lot of a hardware store. Running an active mental dialogue (don’t we all?), in minutes he’s cruising the store’s aisles instead - deep in thought about what must-buy purchases he should cash-and-carry to ensure his next project’s a wild success.

And that next project’s a doozy: killing his wife, Karen. 

Joe gazes at a range of utility knives.

JOE (V.O.) 
This place is like a toy store for
tradesmen and murderous alike. 
No - I shouldn’t call it that. You can only
murder someone who has a soul and
Karen ate hers years ago, that’s why
she’s after mine. I will be liberating myself from her
aurora of fragility, I will be liberating the world
from her fowl stench, and I will be liberating
herself from looking at that face in the mirror.

Joe enters a middle aisle. He looks left and right.

JOE (V.O.)
I am a good man and a good man
doesn’t commit murder.

Well, murder sure seems like Joe’s end goal. But his rationalizing’s epic, to say the least. 

With some jobs it’s best to hire professionals. But Joe’s going full do-it-yourself here.

But with what? The choices seem endless… at least if you’re a handy guy. After grabbing a basic no-brainer item (gloves), Joe finds himself attracted to – of all things – PAINT.

JOE (V.O.) 
Although, paint could be a creative
method of liberation. 
I'll paint her dark soul red.

As Joe muses, he fantasizes, too - 

INT. JOE'S HOME - DINNING ROOM - DAY

Karen sits on a chair. Joe stands behind her, over her. She struggles against Joe as he holds her mouth shut. Blue paint is over her face and cloths, pouring onto Joe's shoes.

INT. JIMMY’S HARDWARE STORE - NIGHT

JOE (V.O.)
I like them shoes. 
She's not worth the effort.

So… not knives. Surely not paint. What’s next?

Let’s just say Joe’s the creative type. The mental imagery he conjures up gets more bizarre and bloody with every aisle he passes through.

Hammer. Nail gun. Maybe tiles?  Tiles?!? Joe’s homicidal thinking’s not only bizarre (and comical), it’s also way, way out of the box.

How will this shopping trip end up? And will Joe’s final selections, er, “work”?  Read Aisle Browsing and find out. Directors: except for setting aside a slice of budget for bloody (but practical and easy) FX, Aisle Browsing could be shot cheap. Definitely cheaper than Joe’s shopping spree. But the dark satirical laughs and payoff might make you cinematically rich!