I Can't Get No Satisfaction | Script Revolution

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I Can't Get No Satisfaction
A radio DJ tries his best to give away a cash prize over the air, but the listeners aren’t having any part of it.

People sure are stupid. Nobody knows this more than Nebraska radio DJ, Jamie Jameson, in this hilarious script by Gary Howell.

Jamie Jameson is a small-time, rock ‘n roll radio DJ for KROK-FM in Nebraska. You can’t help but think he’s had bigger aspirations in life. In between insults towards his hollow-brained callers, he sneaks in comments about how much he hates his life, blaming the stupidity he consistently encounters for much of it – and he does this using his most professional “Casey Casum” radio DJ voice, which makes it all the more hilarious.

Today, Jamie’s taking live calls as part of a contest in which he plays the opening to a classic rock and roll song and callers must guess what the song is.

He plays the opening to the Rolling Stones hit, “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” and the calls immediately come pouring in… as does the stupidity.

CALLER 1 (MALE V.O.)
Who are the Beatles?

JAMIE THE DJ (V.O.)
This isn’t Jeopardy. You don’t have
to phrase your answer in the form
of a question.

CALLER 1 (MALE V.O.)
No, I’m asking who are the Beatles?

JAMIE THE DJ (V.O.)
How old ARE you? Next caller.

CALLER 2 (MALE V.O.)
The Beatles suck.

JAMIE THE DJ (MALE V.O.)
Your opinions don’t win you cash in
this game. Do you have a guess?

CALLER 2 (MALE V.O.)
Whatever. Yellow Submarine.

JAMIE THE DJ (V.O.)
Please find a large building and
jump off it. Next caller.

With each horrible guess, Jamie’s comments get even darker and more depressing, to the point where he’s practically reflecting on the regretful path his life has taken.

But, there’s a glimmer of hope when he receives a call from a young woman who seems to be very close to getting the answer right…

We can’t help but feel for Jamie as he deals with idiot caller after idiot caller. But, at the same time, we can’t help but laugh.

The Script

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

A radio DJ tries his best to give away a cash prize over the air, but the listeners aren't having any part of it.

About The Reviewer

Michael J Kospiah's picture
Real name: 

I'm an award-winning screenwriter based out of New York City who specializes in darker subject matter and themes. My first produced feature film, "The Suicide Theory" won the Audience Award at the 2014 Austin Film Festival as well as the Grand Jury Prize (Best Picture) at the Dances With Films Festival in Hollywood. After a brief theatrical release and a three-year run on Netflix, "The Suicide Theory" is now available to watch on Amazon Prime, Itunes, Google Play, Vudu,...Read more

About The Writer

Gary Howell's picture
Real name: 

I'm an attorney by trade, but a writer at heart. I have written several shorts, and I am currently involved with a feature that I have worked on the past year that is now in development, with an Australian director at the helm. I have had three short films produced, "Country Road 12" that stars Dee Wallace ("E.T.", "Poltergeist"), "Skip," and "Study Date."  I also acted as an executive producer on a short, "Clean Slate."

I have also co-written one dramedy, "The Journeyers", that was...Read more