Shootin' The Shorts | Page 11 | Script Revolution

Shootin' The Shorts

Shootin' The Shorts is run by J.E. Clarke a longtime prolific screenwriter who loves to give others a little boost in the marketplace by highlighting why she believes their short script may stand out. She brings with her a loyal band of readers who share the same compassionate attitude who have joined her cause as it's grown and grown to connect writers with filmmakers on a monthly basis. Now it finds a home here on Script Revolution.

This is all about highlighting what makes a script great by focusing on the positives. You'll find no negative criticism or lists of issues here. Submitting a short script for consideration couldn't be easier, simply scroll down to the bottom of your script edit page and tick the "Submit to Shootin' The Shorts" checkbox. Please note; it takes time to get through all submissions, everything is subjective, and we're by no means saying these are the best short scripts on Script Revolution, they are simply the ones that have found an admirer within this section - CJ

The Apartment - New Beginnings are Always Good... Right?

The Apartment
A technology obsessed couple show up to their sublet in a new city, but soon notice something about the apartment is terribly wrong.

Have you ever had a power outage and the first thing that came to mind was how much battery life you had left on your phone, your tablet, or your computer?

Did you worry that others would grow concerned if they don't hear from you via social media - in a specific amount of time?

And have you ever been oblivious to your surroundings because technology had claimed all the attention you have to spare?

Then according to Brandi Self’s “The Apartment,” you may just be hooked into a future that is going... nowhere.

So it is for Shirley and Paul Watanabe. After the happy couple rent an apartment online, they quickly discover they have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves into. Or any concept of how to get... out.

INT. BUILDING - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
They look around the lobby; ancient Hollywood preserved.

SHIRLEY
I feel like we’ve stepped back in time.

PAUL
Smells like moth balls. Let’s just find this “red rock”, so I can plug in.

SHIRLEY
Maybe it’s code for something. Googling.

She types on her phone.

SHIRLEY
The page won’t load.

PAUL
Look, there it is!

Paul bends down at a potted plant. Picks up a red rock. A key drops from underneath it. Shirley grabs it. Puts it in a nearby door. Turns the lock.

SHIRLEY
It fits!

INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Paul and Shirley look around the strangely put together studio equipped with a small kitchenette. Dull, brown wall paper is in stark contrast against the colorful decor of the furniture and accessories.

PAUL
There aren’t any windows.

SHIRLEY
You’re right, how strange.  

PAUL
And it’s freezing in here.

SHIRLEY
Let me turn the heat on.

She turns to find a whiteboard with “Tonya Spurious 323 - 543 - 0000. Call me if you need anything” written across it.

SHIRLEY
There’s her phone number. Why couldn’t she just e-mail it to me?

She finds the thermostat. Switches the dial. The whole thing falls off.

SHIRLEY
It’s not even attached!

PAUL
(distracted)
Got any food?

SHIRLEY
Yeah...
(stares at the thermostat in her hands)
I brought some noodles, I’ll heat them up.

PAUL
I’ll see what’s on TV. She better have Netflix or Hulu.

Paul plops down in a chair in front of the TV as Shirley faces the kitchenette. Condiments sit on the counter, label out. Every one is emblazed with the word “Hooked” across the front.

SHIRLEY
“Hooked.”

PAUL
What?

SHIRLEY
I guess it’s a company or something. They all have the same logo.

But, is it a company - really? Or something far more insideous than that?

With its snappy dialogue and quirky twists and turns, “The Apartment” by Brandi Self poses a profound and highly current (and viral) question:  

Do we control our technology...or does our technology control us?  

Either way, controlling the direction of your next project's essential. And with "The Apartment", there's just one direction. Up!

The Script

The Apartment

A technology obsessed couple show up to their sublet in a new city, but soon notice that something about the apartment is terribly off-putting.

About The Reviewer

Linda Hullinger's picture
Real name: 

Linda Hullinger is an award-winning screenwriter and published author who has written thirteen short screenplays, three feature screenplays and two TV pilots. She’s had short stories, articles, and essays traditionally published in magazines such as Woman’s World, Over My Dead Body, Dogwood...Read more

About The Writer

Brandi Self's picture
Real name: 

I create surreal, carefully constructed stories that dissect love, morality, oppression, identity crises, alienation, and stagnation by catapulting characters into absurd, almost comically juxtaposed worlds where they must use self-examination as a tool for escape and redemption. 

...Read more

The Wreckage - Can Our Man Emerge from It Alive?

The Wreckage
A man grabs the chance to flee custody. 
But, being arrested is beginning to look pretty sweet in comparison to what awaits him.

It’s not often that being in a car wreck represents a stroke of luck.  But, that’s the case for the protagonist of Omid Abrams latest piece, The Wreckage. 

Detained and in handcuffs in the back of a car, Our Man wakes up to find he is the only one in the car still breathing.   His captors dead, Our Man laughs, but the pain from his multiple—graphically presented—injuries makes him gag.

Navigating his freedom from his captivity is no easy task. Handcuffed to a dead man who has been impaled by a large tree limb makes maneuvering slightly difficult.  Our Man goes for his companion’s gun to blast himself free.  He musters up his courage and…click.  The cylinder is empty. 

Now Our Man must figure out how to free the dead man from the limb, drag himself and this dead weight to the other body belonging to the driver lying outside the car, and hope that he too has a pistol on him somewhere and try again.  The agony of his every movement is painstakingly splashed across the screen.

Our Man PULLS Bald Man out of the car.

Now both men are on the floor. Our Man crawls over to Driver’s dead body, taking Bald Man with him.

Once he reaches Driver, he goes into his left pocket. A cell phone. He reaches over to Driver’s right pocket and pulls out a pistol.

Finally rid of the handcuffs, Our Man once again lets out a laugh.  But the sound of footsteps cuts his celebration short. 

He drags himself into the bushes and watches as a hunter approaches the dead bodies.   What he sees is horrifying, and Our Man quickly realizes that he’s still very much not out of the woods.

If you love great survival stories, powerfully descriptive visuals that relate better than any dialogue could ever achieve, and tales with twists, The Wreckage is the smashup for you. 

About The Reviewer

Julia Cottle's picture
Real name: 

Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She always has loved to write, but only recently has discovered the joy of film and stage writing.Read more

Grandma's Hands - What Treasure or Curse Do They Hold?

Grandma's Hands
Upon the death of her estranged grandmother, a downtrodden young woman inherits a pair of gloves
which preternaturally compel her to strike back at the oppressive men in her life.

Even when grandmothers are estranged, they leave us legacies--- whether we want them or not.

But sometimes those legacies are undiscovered gifts. Much more than recipes. Costume jewelry. Or Hawaiian floral mumus.

These undiscovered gifts are the knowing that comes with having the same blood. The same dreams. And...having the same fears.

In Chris Courtney Martin’s “Grandma’s Hands,”  Billie discovers those gifts in a most unusual and tragically touching way.

INT. BLOCK HOUSE - BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

A queen-size bed, well made with floral covers. It's littered with stacks of things--

Shoe boxes. Hat boxes. Jewelry boxes. Papers.

DODIE BLOCK, 55, stands at the foot of the bed. Flips through a binder-clipped file.

Billie sweeps in, plops on the bed. A tower of shoe boxes threatens to topple. Dodie catches them.

DODIE
Girl!

BILLIE
Does it really have to be us doing this? The woman had a tribe of children.

DODIE
Be respectful.

BILLIE
I could have said "litter."

Dodie gives her a look.

DODIE
That's my mother.

Billie sighs.

BILLIE
I know. Sorry, Mom. I'm just saying-- if she left us something, I could see - 

DODIE
She ain't leave nobody nothing, period.
You know how them backwoods folks are about lawyers and papers.

Dodie sighs.

DODIE
Here--

Dodie sets down the papers, hands Billie a wooden jewelry box.

DODIE 
For your troubles.

BILLIE
You don't have to say it like that.

Billie flips the lid, frowns.

BILLIE 
Costume.

DODIE
There's more in the closet.

Billie hops up, throws open the closet door--

Mumus. Hawaiian floral button-ups. She pulls a face. Not a chance in hell. Something catches her eye. Hanging from the pocket of an ancient overcoat: the leather gloves.

Billie grabs the gloves, slips one on. Her sweater sleeve shifts up. Reveal: a nasty purple bruise around her wrist.

She slips on the other glove. Wiggles her fingers. Perfect fit. Billie admires them. Dodie glances over her shoulder.

DODIE 
Almost one o'clock.

Billie snaps-to.

BILLIE
Dang it. Alright. Thanks.

Billie grabs her puffy coat off the back of a chair.

BILLIE 
Be back after my shift.

She kisses Dodie on the cheek, rushes out.

But, her grandmother’s leather gloves are more fitting than Billie could have ever imagined.

Is it true that we leave our imprint on what we’ve left behind? Can we better sympathize with someone if we’ve walked in their shoes--or in this case--worn their gloves?

“Grandma’s Hands” is an edgy, fast-paced take on how one young woman learns to get a grip on her own life through the eyes of her grandmother’s. A perfect combination of universal truth and high concept premise, don't let this short slip through your fingers and get away!

The Script

Grandma's Hands

Upon the death of her estranged grandmother, a downtrodden young woman inherits a pair of gloves which preternaturally compel her to strike back at the oppressive men in her life.

About The Reviewer

Linda Hullinger's picture
Real name: 

Linda Hullinger is an award-winning screenwriter and published author who has written thirteen short screenplays, three feature screenplays and two TV pilots. She’s had short stories, articles, and essays traditionally published in magazines such as Woman’s World, Over My Dead Body, Dogwood...Read more

About The Writer

Chris Courtney Martin's picture

I'm a writer. I'm a producer. I'm a thinker, dreamer, rebel. But most of all? I'm happy that the word-count minimum for these bios has been reduced. I would like to hope the work speaks for itself. I've been doing this for a long time and I've come to realize that at the end of the day, personal...Read more

Thirst - Sometimes Urges Can't Be Quenched....

Thirst
A man struggling with a food addiction must make a major change... if he wants to survive.    

Overcoming addiction proves difficult when the underlying reason for seeking constant pleasure goes untreated - and unseen.

Alcohol, cigarettes, prescription drugs and food often merely substitute for what might truly be missing from a person’s life - for instance: love, self-esteem, a meaningful job. In such cases, cravings often prevail - even when the consequences are dire. Or worse.

Scott, the protagonist of Chris Keaton’s Thirst, is a junk-food junkie.  Despite his doctor’s warnings, and loving wife Helen’s efforts to prepare healthy meals, Scott’s binging seems endless.  And Helen’s efforts only exacerbate the guilt Scott brings home with each relapse.

And with this latest incident, there’s no hiding Scott's culinary "sin".  The burrito he just scarfed down at a taco truck on the way home has given Scott an insatiable thirst:   

Scott pours the milk into a glass and drinks.

He pours and drinks another glass. And then another. And then another. Helen watches him with concern.

Scott roots around the fridge.

SCOTT
That’s not it. Something will hit the spot.

HELEN
You did eat junk food! Your diet won’t work if you cheat. Salty foods are bad for your blood pressure.

Scott ignores her and drinks anything - and everything - in the fridge. He chugs an energy drink. Then a fruit juice.

Slopping a mess on the floor the entire time.

Helen grows increasingly nervous as she observes her husband.  She stops chopping vegetables - then screams when she notices she’s cut herself.  Scott hurries over to his wife and sucks greedily at the blood streaming from her injured finger.  His thirst grows

Will Scott be able to satiate these sudden, inexplicable cravings?  Will this be the incident that ultimately helps Scott end his addictions for good?  Even more importantly: given such a stomach churning turn of events... can Scott's marriage survive?

Keaton's twisted tale of Thirst serves up a surprising feast for directors to bite into  - one that audiences will surely devour as well!

The Script

THIRST

An overweight man cheating on his diet gains an unnatural thirst that only blood will quench.

About The Reviewer

Julia Cottle's picture
Real name: 

Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She always has loved to write, but only recently has discovered the joy of film and stage writing.Read more

About The Writer

Chris Keaton's picture
Real name: 

Chris Keaton, like many deranged people, writes screenplays and actually believes he's pretty good at it. His delusion has brought him to write at least a dozen feature films and numerous short scripts of questionable quality. Several directors have been enabling Chris Keaton's mental illness by...Read more

The Hearse from Beyond - Wanna Ride?

The Hearse From Beyond
On Halloween night, a young trick-or-treater is visited by a ghostly wagon driven by a sinister old man.

Do our earliest Halloween memories mold our view of it as we age?

What do you recall about your first evening of “Trick-or-Treat?” Were you thinking candy, candy, candy? Candy corn, Tootsie Rolls, jack-o-lanterns and more?   Or... were you terrified by the ghastly creatures roaming the nightt?

“The Hearse From Beyond” by Jason K. Allen delves deep into those memories and fears; and what makes Halloween an extraordinary experience for one particular man---a now long-distant night that changed his world for his whole life.

EXT. SUBURBS - NIGHT
A lit pumpkin flickers on a porch.

Three kids wearing Halloween masks excitedly approach a house. They ring the doorbell.
When the door opens, they yell: "Trick or treat!"

SUPERIMPOSE: “October 31, 1973”

After receiving their candy, they happily move on to the next house.

Nearby, eight-year-old DANIEL TAYLOR, wearing a Casper the Friendly Ghost mask, wanders across a lawn. He removes his mask, peers into his bag of candy.

MOTHER (O.S.)
(from afar) Daniel? Daniel, it’s time to come in, hon!

He glances toward a house.

DANIEL
Okay, mom!

He looks around the neighborhood. All is quiet. Most everyone has gone inside for the night.
Rummaging through his bag of goodies, he samples some candy.

In the distance, the faint CLICK-CLACK of horseshoes on pavement. Slow, methodical steps.

Daniel looks down the road, but sees nothing. He reaches back into his bag.

The click-clack sound draws closer. Daniel glances up and detects some movement -- a silhouette in the darkness. He steps toward the road to get a better look.

Emerging from the darkness is a horse pulling a wagon. Seated atop the wagon: a shadowy figure wearing a top hat. Daniel watches, curious.

The wagon comes closer, finally pausing in the road -- directly in front of Daniel.

All is deathly quiet. With wide eyes, Daniel studies the wagon and the massive black horse.
Daniel's eyes follow the horse's reins, which lead to pair of pale, slender hands.

The DRIVER -- with his long, grim face and a splash of silver hair peaking out from under his hat -- stares ahead, motionless.

The horse WHINNIES, causing Daniel to jump. Slowly the Driver turns his head in the direction of Daniel. He glares at Daniel with cold, hollow eyes.

Daniel steps backward. Finally he turns and runs for home. Glancing back, he notices the Driver still staring.

Daniel leaps up onto his porch and hurries inside.

What does the dark stranger want? And does he intend to communicate to this child?  

With its rich description and spine-chilling effects, “The Hearse From Beyond” delivers a spooky bag of treats that will satisfy any director craving a short, effective Halloween scare.

The Script

The Hearse from Beyond

On Halloween night, a young trick-or-treater is visited by a ghostly wagon driven by a sinister old man.

About The Reviewer

Linda Hullinger's picture
Real name: 

Linda Hullinger is an award-winning screenwriter and published author who has written thirteen short screenplays, three feature screenplays and two TV pilots. She’s had short stories, articles, and essays traditionally published in magazines such as Woman’s World, Over My Dead Body, Dogwood...Read more

About The Writer

Jason K. Allen's picture
Real name: 

Jason Allen is a writer and filmmaker from Nashville, TN. He is also a wilderness guide, nature photographer and award-winning journalist.

His first feature film, Lucky Fritz, premiered at Cannes in 2009. He's won Best Screenplay honors at the Nashville Film Festival, San Diego Film...Read more

Meeting the Other Woman - A Scenario that Never Bodes Well!

Meeting the Other Woman
A wife discovers something important about her own life when she finally meets the other woman.

Everyone’s had that moment in a relationship. Your significant other shows up late, won’t answer their phone, and that voice in your head keeps asking could there be someone else?

For Joan Peterson, that fear turned to reality. An affair, years in the making, going on right under her nose. Then reality turned to nightmare – her husband’s jilted ex-lover standing in their driveway with a loaded gun. A bullet ripping through her husband’s chest.

Punching a hole through the façade of Joan’s perfect marriage.

Now she’s in desperate need of answers. That’s why she’s traveled all the way to maximum-security prison, face to face with her husband’s killer on Death Row.

But the answers she gets quickly make one thing clear – she’s not the only victim here. Not the only one deceived, heartbroken, lost.

What follows is a delicate (and brilliantly written) dance between two wounded souls. Both women intertwined by shared misery, forced to circle the shattered remains of their lives. Yet each kept at arm’s length by an insurmountable fissure of anger and resentment.

Can either find closure, or will confrontation only exacerbate their pain? As accusations fly and revelations mount one thing is certain… neither woman will leave unchanged.

Production: Two adult females and a few extras. Will need some interior locations that can work as a prison. Might be able to get away with just a “visitation room”.

About the writer: David Lambertson took up writing rather late in life having already been retired before he put pen to paper (okay – finger to computer key) for the first time. His favorite genres to read and write are dramedies and romantic comedies. He has written five features, including; The Last Statesman (a Nicholl’s and BlueCat quarterfinalist and a PAGE Finalist) and The Beginning of The End and The End (a Nicholl’s quarterfinalist and PAGE Awards Finalist). You can check out more of his work here.

About the reviewer: James Barron is a former law student turned screenwriter who loves to write comedy along with the occasional horror/thriller.

About The Reviewer

James Barron's picture
Real name: 

I love to write comedy along with the occasional horror/thriller. My work is frequently showcased on Janet's Shootin' The Shorts Blog (which is now part of Script Revolution too!) Feel free to check out more on my website: http://www.jbarronscripts.com...Read more

About The Writer

David Lambertson's picture
Real name: 

Hmmm - how does one craft a writing biography for one that has not spent a life writing? I'll give it a shot. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was eighteen. I started writing when I was 56. In the years between I got married, had children, got divorced, got married again, had grandchildren...Read more

A Child Outside - and Outside Can Be Oh So Cold...

A Child Outside
Motherly love can be shown in oh so many ways… even murder.

We don’t like to hear about a young person being hurt, much less witness it. How could a parent ever intentionally harm their own child? Or… kill them? What could possibly possess a parent to perpetrate such a deed?

It’s not easy to portray the unpinning of fundamental societal assumptions, especially when they have to do with family, loyalties or a mother’s unconditional love. Yet, Chris Keaton masterfully does just that in his latest work, A Child Outside.

The main character, Anna, is convinced that mommy knows best, that death is the only option. It’s for their own good. It’s what God would want. And, Anna’s faith is unwavering.

ANNA
I’m sorry sweet baby I should’ve-

She chokes back tears.

ANNA
I should’ve paid attention to the signs…

She whispers a prayer to herself.

ANNA
Fear not, for I have redeemed you. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you…

Anna appears to be crazy; her daughters so young and innocent.

Short but not at all sweet, Keaton’s very dark A Child Outside comes to a twisted and chilling end: one that will be sure to unsettle any audience’s assumptions about Satan or sanity.

The Script

A Child Outside

A mother faces a terrible decision to rid herself of demons.

About The Reviewer

Julia Cottle's picture
Real name: 

Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She always has loved to write, but only recently has discovered the joy of film and stage writing.Read more

About The Writer

Chris Keaton's picture
Real name: 

Chris Keaton, like many deranged people, writes screenplays and actually believes he's pretty good at it. His delusion has brought him to write at least a dozen feature films and numerous short scripts of questionable quality. Several directors have been enabling Chris Keaton's mental illness by...Read more

Nun Too Soon - Pray You Don't Miss This One!

NUN TOO SOON
Two uncommon women meet and discover what they have in common.

Film-makers with access to a city and a taxicab (or an Uber) should check out this smart, rewarding, three-handed character piece from David Lambertson.

Kimberly and Theresa, two strangers from two very different backgrounds, share a ride from New Jersey to the same Manhattan hotel.

On the way they overcome their prejudices -- and a barrage of wisecracks from their New York cabbie -- and learn more than they ever suspected about how the other half lives and loves.

Kimberly is all expensive curves, stiletto heels and mouthwash --

KIMBERLY
I’m a hooker.

THERESA
Oh, my.

KIMBERLY
Really? You couldn't tell?

THERESA
No, I wouldn’t have guessed that --

MAX THE DRIVER
(proudly)
I got it right off.

Meanwhile Theresa, in a modest grey jacket and skirt, with no jewelry or makeup, turns out to be more worldly than she might seem.

As she says, "I'm a nun. Not a saint."

Toward the end of the story, as the two women bond and the pieces fall into place, we suddenly see the big picture. Moments later, the characters themselves have the same realization, and there's a delicious sense of anticipation as we wonder how Kimberly and Theresa are going to deal with their embarrassing discovery...

They rise to the challenge splendidly, and when at last we leave them, our two ladies are on the cusp of launching themselves into an evening that neither of them will ever forget.

And remember: female protagonists are hot right now. If you're looking for material that would make a splash with festival audiences, Nun Too Soon might be just the ticket!

The Script

Nun Too Soon

Two uncommon women meet and discover what they have in common.

About The Reviewer

Paul Barlow's picture
Real name: 

I'd like to think it's more about the writing than about me, but OK, lemme see... I'm a member of The Left Door screenwriting group and I've been writing for quite a few years now, mostly features, but also three TV pilots. Plus, inevitably, a ragbag of webisodes, shorts and skits, some of which...Read more

About The Writer

David Lambertson's picture
Real name: 

Hmmm - how does one craft a writing biography for one that has not spent a life writing? I'll give it a shot. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was eighteen. I started writing when I was 56. In the years between I got married, had children, got divorced, got married again, had grandchildren...Read more

The Rain Man - When it Rains, It Pours....

The Rain Man
A man tells a couple of diner patrons his haunting encounter
with an urban legend known as the Rain Man.

Have you ever contemplated the truth of an Urban Legend?  Or do you laugh them off, when such Tall Tales inevitably roll around?

For most of us - like an oozing wound or dark shadow - an Urban Legend can creep into your mind. The images such stories evoke drift quietly into a lonely corner of your imagination -- until they're stirred up, like dust. It's then they become a sinister substance: something tangible that won't leave you alone.

Elizabeth H. Vu’s “The Rain Man” shows it’s not always wise to shrug off someone else’s fear.

The script introduces us to Mikayla and the "Skeptical Gentleman" while they huddle in a small restaurant, attempting to escape a sudden downpour.  As they order food and drip on tile, the two listen to the story of a third customer, who claims he just had a Close Encounter of the Urban Legend type.

Mikayla watches him while eating.

The Man glances at the Gentleman. He turns back to Mikayla, growing annoyed.

MAN
Back to what I was saying--

Mikayla looks at him.

MIKAYLA
The Rain Man, right?

MAN
Right. (then) He's an evil entity that appears in the form of a young man.
He has white skin and red eyes that glow in the dark.
But he only appears when it rains. That's why they call him the Rain Man.

The Gentleman suddenly starts laughing. The Man turns to him, offended.

MAN
What? It's true. I saw him on the way coming here.

MIKAYLA
What did he look like?

MAN
Well, like I said. White skin, red eyes. He was standing behind me.

GENTLEMAN
If he was standing behind you, how could you tell that he had white skin and red eyes?

Mikayla laughs lightly. 

MAN
I turned around. That's how I saw him.
At first, I was just standing there in the rain under my umbrella, and then I heard a voice.
"May I stand under your umbrella?" That's what he said.
When I saw his face, I took off and ran straight here.

He drinks his coffee.
The Gentleman and Mikayla look at each other.

MAN
Man, what a night.

And an unbelievable story. But, when a stranger warns you of grave danger, should you dismiss it?  Or let it convince you?

Elizabeth H. Vu’s “The Rain Man” knows. And if you’re looking for a fast-paced eerie story that stays with you after credits roll, check it out for yourself. For good or evil, you’ll know, too.

The Script

The Rain Man

A man tells a couple of diner patrons his haunting encounter with an urban legend known as the Rain Man.

About The Reviewer

Linda Hullinger's picture
Real name: 

Linda Hullinger is an award-winning screenwriter and published author who has written thirteen short screenplays, three feature screenplays and two TV pilots. She’s had short stories, articles, and essays traditionally published in magazines such as Woman’s World, Over My Dead Body, Dogwood...Read more

About The Writer

Elizabeth H. Vu's picture
Real name: 

Although I started screenwriting in 2008, I didn't really get my scripts out there until 2016. I've now had 11 shorts and one feature produced. If you're interested, you can check out and order the film here: http://theperceptionmovie.com. ...Read more

Token - Both of appreciation, and Life...

Token
One stop on a train changes everything.

Petty squabbles tend to bring out the worst in people. Provoking regrettable words. Causing hurt feelings that fester -  about things that normally wouldn’t matter at all. At such times, being right suddenly seems more important than anything else.  But when enough time passes, the details of the argument can rarely be even recalled.

Everyone knows there are no guarantees in life,  so why do most people assume there will always be time to make amends?

In Rick Hansberry's Token, Chad - a young man riding the subway - witnesses an older couple squabbling over being courteous.

INT. SUBWAY CAR - DAY

MARY and BRUCE, both 50, grumble at each other as they struggle to get comfortable in their seats. There’s plenty of open seats but these two dig in to battle for position.

BRUCE
So typical of you, you’d rather fight me than do the right thing.

MARY
That’s right. Because clearly you’re not capable of being a gentleman or doing the right thing.

Chad suppresses a smile, twirls his finger around the balloon string. The balloon still dances above him, out of sight.

But with the click of a button, Chad experiences an unexpected realization of how fleeting and precious our time truly is.  A lesson that the bickering couple may have forgotten momentarily. But Chad leaves behind a gift that (hopefully) will cause them to recollect.  

Token” is proof the most haunting shorts are those that address poignant and universal facts of life - factors that Rick Hansberry masterfully condenses into a single one-punch page.  The kind of emotional brevity that festivals always love...

The Script

Token

One stop on a train changes everything.

About The Reviewer

Linda Hullinger's picture
Real name: 

Linda Hullinger is an award-winning screenwriter and published author who has written thirteen short screenplays, three feature screenplays and two TV pilots. She’s had short stories, articles, and essays traditionally published in magazines such as Woman’s World, Over My Dead Body, Dogwood...Read more

About The Writer

Rick Hansberry's picture
Real name: 

Rick Hansberry is an award-winning screenwriter with more than 20 years of industry experience. With several produced credits on his IMDb page, Rick has written, produced and directed several short films. 2017 saw the release of two feature-length films, "Alienate" and "Evil In Her." 2018...Read more

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