Shootin' The Shorts | Page 23 | Script Revolution

Shootin' The Shorts

Shootin' The Shorts is run by J.E. Clarke a longtime prolific screenwriter who loves to give others a little boost in the marketplace by highlighting why she believes their short script may stand out. She brings with her a loyal band of readers who share the same compassionate attitude who have joined her cause as it's grown and grown to connect writers with filmmakers on a monthly basis. Now it finds a home here on Script Revolution.

This is all about highlighting what makes a script great by focusing on the positives. You'll find no negative criticism or lists of issues here. Submitting a short script for consideration couldn't be easier, simply scroll down to the bottom of your script edit page and tick the "Submit to Shootin' The Shorts" checkbox. Please note; it takes time to get through all submissions, everything is subjective, and we're by no means saying these are the best short scripts on Script Revolution, they are simply the ones that have found an admirer within this section - CJ

The Rust Garden - an awesome script that crafts a darkness that intensifies right through to the end

Digging up the past, especially when it has involved brutality, murder or genocide is an all too delicate task. Holocaust memorials, museums and family histories serve to remind of Nazi atrocities. Truth commissions facilitate the healing process in countries battered by ruthless dictatorships. Perpetrators continue to be hunted and pursued through legal channels when possible. Inevitably, there exists a burning desire to achieve closure, honor the dead and scream “never again!” And, then there are others who just want revenge.

Steve Miles dark, dark drama, The Rust Garden, is set 70 years after the war in a forsaken site in Belarus where the dead far outnumber the living. The protagonist Ela and her young son live in the middle of this wasteland, where Ela works diligently each day digging up human remains. One day, as Ela’s son Namov looks on more in curiosity than horror, an elderly disabled stranger emerges from seemingly out of nowhere, shakily walks towards them and collapses.

Ela’s surprise turns to a growing concern when the sergeant who arrives at the scene, fails to show much curiosity and even less concern about the man and his unusual appearance. She realizes that given the stranger’s condition, he could not have traveled far before perishing before her eyes. Who was he? And, where did he come from? As soon as her son has left to visit his father, Ela ventures off in search of some answers.

Ela soon discovers that she has neighbors she never knew existed and that the ones she knew of are nothing like she could have possibly imagined. Her journey proves as painful and frightening as Franciszek Kalina’s, the Polish immigrant from Chicago in Pasikowski’s Aftermath without the catharsis that holocaust revenge movies like Phoenix or Inglorious Basterds offer, nor the comic relief that the latter’s excesses provide.

If you crave the opportunity to work with an awesome script that crafts a darkness that intensifies right through to the end, leaving audiences entirely unsettled, look no further than Miles’ The Rust Garden.

Number of pages: 16

Budget: Moderate. There are a number of specific props, several actors with specific physical characteristics and scenes in outdoor landscapes needed.

The Script

The Rust Garden

A forensic archaeologist finds her ideals tested when she discovers the horrors of the past are far from dead and buried.

About The Reviewer

Julia Cottle's picture
Real name: 

Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She always has loved to write, but only recently has discovered the joy of film and stage writing.Read more

About The Writer

Steve Miles's picture
Real name: 

Started writing scripts around five years ago after realising his social life was vastly overrated. Enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit - from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount...Read more

A Cure for Loneliness - You’ll certainly have your own personal questions to ask after reading this script, so challenge yourself and delve right in to this one!

Loneliness. One of the paradoxes of our time. We’re more “connected” to others in the world than ever thanks to technology, but no-one seems to be willing to connect in reality. Why bother to talk about the relative dullness of life when there’s eons of excitement available at your fingertips?

Our protagonist in A Cure for Loneliness, Joel, has both verbal and observational evidence to prove this point. As a psychiatrist, many of his patients confess their feelings of isolation to him in the office. And outside of work, his commute features the all too familiar sight of people addicted to the bleeps of their new iSurface Pro 7, and conversations between fellow residents of his high-rise flats are trite and depressingly short:

Joel pulls his mail from his box. Next to him, a WOMAN, professional, attractive stops to get her mail.

JOEL
Hello.

WOMAN
Hello.

Truly Shakespearean stuff. But neither person has any motivation to continue talking – they don’t know each other.

However, the motivation in arrives in the form of a sudden crime wave in Joel’s high-rise block. At first, it’s only a few break-ins, but as the offences escalate in seriousness, the community response escalates too. Locals begin to monitor the floors and organise fundraisers to upgrade security. Town hall meetings, usually emptier than a Donald Trump rally in Mexico become more packed than most trains at rush hour. Copious community cooperation returns. But at a price.

And will this price increase? Will the crime spree continue? Who’s behind the nefarious activities, and why?

Warning! A Cure for Loneliness has multiple side effects, like forcing your hands to applaud when the dose is fully digested. It also induces your brain into asking unpleasant questions. Why does it take negative events to bring people together? Do we need to rethink our relationship with technology? You’ll certainly have your own personal questions to ask after reading this script, so challenge yourself and delve right in to this one!

Pages: 8

Budget: Low to moderate. A few settings and good actors is all you need.

The Script

A Cure For Loneliness

A psychiatrist searches for a way to connect his lonely patients.

About The Reviewer

Hamish Porter's picture
Real name: 

That guy who does a load of STS reviews and writes when he's not working or reading superfluous interesting articles. My filmmakers Rushmore is Nolan, Kubrick, Hitchcock, and Eastwood. Psychological thrillers, crime, and dramas are my thing, but I'm impartial to anything that's...Read more

About The Writer

Richard Russell's picture
Real name: 

I'm a screen writer from North Carolina. You can find me on IMDB as Richard F. Russell...Read more

Noob - a clever commentary of the universal love-hate relationship we have with technology

Old people vs technology: it’s a perennial battle of the ages. And as technology gets more and more advanced, it ain’t gonna get easier any time soon!

Which doesn’t mean one can’t have multiple laughs at its expense…

That’s exactly what James Barron’s satirical Noob aims to do. Lead character Henry’s a grizzled war vet – the kind of guy who thinks physical prowess proves a man’s worth. So when his daughter buys him an iPhone, he struggles to understand the basics – and we mean really “basic”… like turning it on.

Frustrated by failure, the old man’s grief is multiplied when his wife suggests getting help from experts. But Henry’s determined to lone wolf this operation. At first, that doesn’t seem like such a bad idea – Henry calls the correct number for his queries. But then he accidentally changes the language to Spanish. Qué desastre!

Already confused, Henry’s utterly baffled when the weather suddenly changes and a large metallic craft appears. He’s being abducted! So it seems.

As it turns out, his abductor is a computer sent by a technologically advanced species to observe human behaviour for academic reasons – and poses no danger to Henry’s health.

But Henry poses a great threat to the computer…

…because he thinks it’s the Apple support system! And while he didn’t know how to work an iPhone, he certainly doesn’t understand the requests the AI makes – leading to a massive series of escalating communication breakdowns.

Threatening the poor bot’s circuit-sanity.

Hilariously ironic with a brilliant payoff, Noob is a clever commentary of the universal love-hate relationship we have with technology. It’s guaranteed to have everyone laughing – with or without the Genius Bar!

Pages: 11

Budget: Okay, there’s a bit of FX called for here. But nothing a touch of post or CGI can’t handle.

The Script

Noob

A highly evolved, alien-made artificial intelligence system tries to teach a cantankerous 80-year-old human how to work an iPhone.

About The Reviewer

Hamish Porter's picture
Real name: 

That guy who does a load of STS reviews and writes when he's not working or reading superfluous interesting articles. My filmmakers Rushmore is Nolan, Kubrick, Hitchcock, and Eastwood. Psychological thrillers, crime, and dramas are my thing, but I'm impartial to anything that's...Read more

About The Writer

James Barron's picture
Real name: 

I love to write comedy along with the occasional horror/thriller. My work is frequently showcased on Janet's Shootin' The Shorts Blog (which is now part of Script Revolution too!)

Feel free to check out more on my website:
http://...Read more

The Object of My Infection - There’s no mistaking the quality of storytelling

Richard Gere played one of the most menacing, hated police characters of all time in 1990’s “Internal Affairs.” With immense help from writer Henry Bean and director Mike Figgis, Gere crafted one of those rare performances where you actually sweat and squirm in your seat while you watch his slimy Dennis Peck lather in deceit, corruption and murder.

Writer David Lambertson has created a similar character in “The Object Of My Infection” with suspended police captain Drew Sanders, a foul creature with police badge tattoos on each bicep who “looks as though he belongs in a Deep South trailer park.”

Drew’s wife Emma is his opposite; a lab technician/scientist at the Center for Disease Control. From page one, the stage is brilliantly set with good (white coat and all) versus evil (a law man we surmise has twisted the law).

There’s no line Drew won’t cross or snort including infidelity, which he blames his wife for.

EMMA
She was here today? In our bed?

Drew doesn’t take his eyes off the television.

DREW
I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about?

EMMA
I can smell her! I can smell what you did!

Drew takes a long sip of beer.

DREW
(far too casual)
Well, maybe if you weren’t so catatonic in the sack, I wouldn’t
have to be chasing stray pussy.
(beat)
It’s like fucking a corpse with you.

Emma screams at her coked-up husband to leave, throws house keys at him, nicks his cheek – and pays an all-too-painful price. His brutality includes several backhands to Emma’s face before dragging her to the bedroom for their first-ever sodomy session.

Bruised and permanently battered, Emma’s determined to end the vicious cycle despite Drew’s day-after promises to stop using and abusing.

Dangling at the end of her frayed rope, Emma eventually brings home a special treat from work for “Dear Hubby” – in the form of a white powder he thinks is cocaine. Naked on their bed, the only thing she wears is a bump across her stomach and Drew can’t resist, the last in a long line of his mistakes.

There’s no mistaking the quality of storytelling in “The Object Of My Infection,” which would have minimal budget. The biggest hurdle may be finding a location to mimic the CDC.

And finding a brave enough actor to take on Emma’s role.

Pages: 12

Budget: Moderate – except for a lab scene, the other locations are simple… with only two main characters (that better have great emotional range.)

The Script

The Object of My Infection

A CDC research technician uses the only tools available to her to stop an abusive husband

About The Reviewer

Zack Zupke's picture
Real name: 

I am a Los Angeles-based writer. I have had one pilot place as a finalist on Filmmatic and this script, "Battle Of Wills," place as a quarterfinalist on Stage 32. "Battle Of Wills" was written with my writing partner Jack Sullivan as the first feature in an action/sci-fi trilogy to be followed...Read more

About The Writer

David Lambertson's picture
Real name: 

Hmmm - how does one craft a writing biography for one that has not spent a life writing? I'll give it a shot. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was eighteen. I started writing when I was 56. In the years between I got married, had children, got divorced, got married again, had grandchildren...Read more

Course Listing Unavailable - direct this one well, and judges at film festivals will be giving you full marks!

For today’s youth, the challenge of getting a good job has never been tougher. Many are determined to do anything that will enhance their resumes in the eyes of employers. Taking “useful” classes, getting internships, and doing extra-curricular activities are just a few examples of what diligent individuals do to spruce up that valuable sheet of paper.

The protagonist in Course Listing Unavailable, 17-year-old Gortat Emmanuel, is just another determined Ivy League freshman with a whiff of intelligent innocence about him. A mix-up in paying the tuition has meant he’s one class short of the minimum semester credit, and so he sees a counselor to get into a subject that appeals to him.

But every time the counselor enters the course he wants, there’s a problem.

Organic Chemistry? Unavailable. Biology? Unavailable. Ecology? Yup…unavailable. As a last resort, the advisor offers Gortat a chance for some real world experience: a month shadowing a service professional. Because the last guy who did it dropped out.

That’s all the information available. Apart from a name: Mr Shephard. Despite this, Gortat accepts, still eager to learn. And so on his first day, he’s dressed up as if he’s the President attending their inauguration.

However, Gortat’s destination isn’t as beautiful as the White House. Unless you’re into dilapidated buildings and tales of wasted lives in needle format littering the ground.

And the professional isn’t some smarmy doctor. Turning up in a classic American muscle with uninviting objects abundantly decorating the interior, Max Shephard invites Gortat in for his “education”. There’s no textbooks. No worksheets either. There’s only one rule, and it ain’t a typical one:

MAX
…no matter what happens
you will not puke in this car.

This may sound easy enough to obey until Max’s profession is revealed…demon hunter. Not quite what our Ivy League kid was expecting. In addition, it transpires that the supposed dropout dropped out of life…unwillingly. Oh, and for his first day on the job, he’s got to complete a practical helping Max eradicate the beast responsible for failing the previous student. Turns out “real world experience” means “other world experience” in this case.

Will Gortat pass his practical? Will he break the one rule? Will he even survive? Only one thing’s assured: direct this one well, and judges at film festivals will be giving you full marks!

Pages: 16

Budget: Okay, there’s a bit of FX involved in here. But nothing a skilled director can’t – and won’t want to – tackle!

The Script

Course Listing Unavailable

An ambitious student gets a crash course in demonic exorcism after signing up for a special internship program.

About The Reviewer

Hamish Porter's picture
Real name: 

That guy who does a load of STS reviews and writes when he's not working or reading superfluous interesting articles. My filmmakers Rushmore is Nolan, Kubrick, Hitchcock, and Eastwood. Psychological thrillers, crime, and dramas are my thing, but I'm impartial to anything that's...Read more

About The Writer

James Barron's picture
Real name: 

I love to write comedy along with the occasional horror/thriller. My work is frequently showcased on Janet's Shootin' The Shorts Blog (which is now part of Script Revolution too!)

Feel free to check out more on my website:
http://...Read more

The Role of the Dice - a skillfully written and well plotted thriller that’s already proven to be a crowd favourite

Couples game night. It’s very much a tradition for some. And no – we’re not referring to some kinky type of seventies Key Party, or Twister played in the buff. We’re talking about a board game that is an institution to most, one that’s been around since the nineteen-thirties – the classic game of Monopoly.

Game nights can be great fun. There’s nothing like combining a healthy dose of friendly rivalry while cultivating memories and bonhomie with good friends. Cracking the caps off a few cold ones, opening a bottle of wine, snacking on some appetizers. Then sit back and let the games begin. Of course, there’s the little matter of winning being a whole lot more fun than losing, not to mention playing fair – in life, just as in the game.

In The Role Of The Dice, our hosts for the night are Chuck and Hannah, their guests, well to do friends Demetri and his heavily pregnant wife Stephanie. Expertly presiding over the entire affair is writer David Lambertson.

Remember I mentioned ‘fun’ and ‘playing fair’?  Straight off the bat our host Chuck doesn’t appear to be enjoying much of either.  To say he’s in a bad mood is an understatement – the words ‘grudge match’ instantly come to mind. But why, we wonder? Well, Chuck’s got his reasons. While out on patrol today (Chuck’s a cop) he discovered a little wheeling and dealing going on behind his back, and he’s about to exact revenge.  Exactly what he saw we’ll leave up to you to find out… We will say, how he enacts justice, is just as captivating as why.

Equally captivating is the skill with which writer David Lambertson spins this very clever yarn by juxtaposing the action with the moves of the Monopoly game. We watch as with every roll of the dice Chuck’s rage intensifies, and with each juicy revelation the subsequent plays on the Monopoly board mimic his state of mind – as do the escalating tensions of the other players around the table.  Mind games, double entendre, (Chuck’s first weapons of choice) – until it becomes patently obvious that Chuck has the monopoly over all of the players at the table, and that the game is about to take a deadly turn.

One of two entries tied for Reader’s Choice Simply Scripts One Week Challenge, The Role Of The Dice is a skillfully written and well plotted thriller that’s already proven to be a crowd favourite.

Filmmakers: Want to invest in something that’s a sure fire winner? Don’t leave this one to Chance, and Do Not Pass Go, it’s time to make your move. You never know, this might just be money in the bank.

Pages: 12

Budget: Minimal. Get a board game, good actors – a little bit more – and you’re done!

The Script

The Role of The Dice

A single roll of the dice determines the fate of a man cheating with his friend's wife.

About The Reviewer

L. Chambers's picture
Real name: 

L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently...Read more

About The Writer

David Lambertson's picture
Real name: 

Hmmm - how does one craft a writing biography for one that has not spent a life writing? I'll give it a shot. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was eighteen. I started writing when I was 56. In the years between I got married, had children, got divorced, got married again, had grandchildren...Read more

Simpatico - Game, set, and match – comic relationship fun at its best

Tennis can be a difficult endeavor. Strength, endurance and determination are required to even mildly succeed. Footwork, hand-eye coordination and cunning strategy take no backseat. Factor in the dimension of doubles play and the complexities double equally. The court expands. Communication is paramount and the volleys require cat-like reflexes during the exhilarating, ping-pong-on-steroids shootouts.

Like tennis, Libby Chambers’ “Simpatico” challenges the senses, hitting point after relationship point. A classic Australian Open match on paper, its characters crush poignant forehand observations and trade clever backhand quips, making the script worthy of center court applause.

The story begins with “INT. HOTEL – BEER GARDEN.” This script had me at “INT.” When the dialogue is served and the love story unfolds, it feels like you’re sitting next to the characters, sharing a glass of wine with Melissa (a buxom, outspoken brunette) and Ann (short, round and modest). Melissa confides to Ann: “I felt something really real between us, you know?”

“What, his penis?” Ann returns. Game on.

It’s also “on” across the garden as we chug a pint with 30-somethings Bob and Chad, who tells-all about his previous night’s date, “If you’d asked me at the start of the night, I’d have said dust off that penguin suit, fella”,” but it was a rather awkward finale.”

And – speaking of awkward: Chad and Melissa are dishing gossip about each other, with no clue they’re sitting just a handful of seats away.

Chad: "She was a bit too full on, you know. Gave off this vibe.”

Melissa: “I really think this guy might be the one.”

And so it goes, from opposite ends of the hotel.  Back and forth they lob insights and serve momentum, revealing Bob and Ann – who have not met – may actually be perfect for one another. But, will they ever discover they’re at the same beer garden? Will true love miss its chance by sheer meters?

Chad and Melissa do eventually spot each other and the story escalates in fine fashion:

“Do you suppose she followed me?”

“Do you suppose he’s stalking me?”

“Oh shit, is she headed this way? I’m off for a leak.”

“This is where I play it super cool and slip off to the lady’s room.”

Chad and Melissa sneak to their respective hiding holes without noticing the other’s doing likewise. Bob and Ann do the same, both headed for the bar…

As for “Simpatico”, it’s surely headed for production and a round of success. Game, set, and match – comic relationship fun at its best.

Pages: 21

Budget: Location cost is pint-sized – any non-fancy hotel or pub will do.

The Script

Simpatico

Two know-it-all friends believing themselves to be the authorities on love, sex, dating, and finding 'the one' recount the events of a one night stand.

About The Reviewer

Zack Zupke's picture
Real name: 

I am a Los Angeles-based writer. I have had one pilot place as a finalist on Filmmatic and this script, "Battle Of Wills," place as a quarterfinalist on Stage 32. "Battle Of Wills" was written with my writing partner Jack Sullivan as the first feature in an action/sci-fi trilogy to be followed...Read more

About The Writer

L. Chambers's picture
Real name: 

L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently...Read more

iRobot - turn it on and give it your spin

The ever widening dangers and potentials of technology. A common theme in both literature and film, the topic spans the gamut of genres. SF/Horror: Hal in 2001. Short Circuit (Comedy). Even Romance – Spike Jonze’s acclaimed SF film Her.

And cantankerous old people? No script writer can go wrong with that! Geezers aways make for colorful characters. Betty White in Lake Placid. The entire cast of Cocoon…

Put those two factors into a short. Add a touch of dark humor, and the result is guaranteed to be memorable.

As iRobot opens, so does old man Roy’s door. Cranky and frail, he harasses the poor teen Postman relentlessly. He asks the kid a million questions. Insists on getting I.D. Eventually, Roy pulls the package from his hands. Slams the door in the kid’s face.

Back in his kitchen, Roy opens the box: it’s a surprise present from daughter Wendy. A fully automated Roomba style vaccuum cleaner; designed to help around the house. Though perpetually unimpressed, Roy turns the device on. He sets it down and gives it a spin.

…but the new-fangled gizmo does more than spin. It whirrs and clicks. And starts to clean. Mesmorized, Roy watches the bot “do its thing.” After conducting an initial patrol across the floor, the robot circles back – and slams into Roy’s ankle. Before you can yell “that tears it!” the war is on. A cat and mouse game ensues between Roy and his mechnanical nemesis. It may not be a Terminator, but this is one Roomba that’s ready to rock and roll. And not necessarily in a good way…

Easy to shoot, iRobot can be played several ways. Horror. Or tongue in cheek satire. But turn it on and give it your spin. It’s a fun tale of Man vs. Machine, with a lighthearted combination of genres.

Pages: 10

Budget: Very low budget. Three actors and a roomba’s all you need.

The Script

iRobot

A geriatric war veteran receives an unexpected package and finds himself in a fight to the death with a murderous household appliance.

About The Reviewer

J.E. Clarke's picture
Real name: 

Known for her unique characters and plots, J.E. Clarke has optioned her feature length horror, "Containment" with Primestar Film Group (director Mike Elliott of Scorpion King 4 attached) and her SF feature "Stream" with Purryburry Productions, John Noble of "Fringe...Read more

About The Writer

Anthony Cawood's picture
Real name: 

Award-winning screenwriter with one feature produced and a further four features optioned or in pre-production. In addition to features, he has over forty short scripts produced/sold/optioned - including ten filmed. Also occasionally pens screenwriting articles, interviews with writers and...Read more

The Last Nerd - make sure you give this one a read. Because whatever Director pulls this homage off will have audiences howling in their seats!

Which films would you consider timeless? The Wizard of OzCasablancaCitizen Kane, and Gone With The Wind are surely worthy of that name. While such tales may be wildly diverse, classic movies share one enduring trait: the ability to find new audiences and fans – generation after adoring generation – for practically one hundred years.

Let’s take that concept even further. What film might be remembered far into the future? Will it still be Citizen Kane? Or another celluloid classic: a story that’s more than timeless. One that’s legendary, in fact.

Written by veteran screenwriter Brett Martin, The Last Nerd opens in a makeshift theatre full of anxious children – awaiting a show by master storyteller “Patton”.

As the curtain opens, Patton and his trusty dog (yes, you read that right. Patton’s co-actor is a dog) take to the stage to perform an epic saga that’s been passed down for eons… Ear to ear. Word by word.

And when Patton opens HIS mouth, the crucial teaser is revealed. He recites the opening lines from a film we’re intimately familiar with. But the children in THIS audience are hearing it for the very first time.

The film in question? Star Wars!

Yep, the heroic derring do of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Leia – acted out scene by scene by Patton, his trusty dog R2-K9, some crude action figures, and a few eager volunteers from the audience. The tension mounts inevitably – until the Rebels reign victorious. And every child in the theater cheers! Because for a few precious hours, Patton’s weaved together a magical story that allows a rag-tag group of children to escape their reality – and travel back a long time ago. To a galaxy far, far away.

But eventually, even the best adventures must end. After the Death Star dissipates in a brilliant blossom of fire and space dust, Patton packs up his wares and ventures off towards his next show. After all, not every child on Earth has heard the saga of the Jedi. And Patton vows he’ll never rest – until the Force is with them all.

A script with more twists than a Death Star corridor, The Last Nerd requires a director who possesses good rapport with child actors and has experience in the theatre. The part of Patton himself? A role any scenery chewing, spotlight stealing theatre actor would love to add to their resume.

Of course, it wouldn’t hurt if Star Wars is your favorite film.

Either way, make sure you give this one a read. Because whatever Director pulls this homage off will have audiences howling in their seats!

Pages: 7

Budget: Moderate. A make-shift theatre and some talented child actors. Doggie treats for R2-K9.

The Script

The Last Nerd: A Star Wars Story

A traveling storyteller recounts the legend of Star Wars to a group of strange children that've never heard of the films.

About The Reviewer

David Troop's picture
Real name: 

Dave Troop began writing as soon as he could hold a No. 2 pencil. In 2012, he discovered the beauty and the challenge of the five page screenplay while writing short scripts for MoviePoet.com and Simplyscripts. Dave continues to write and review short scripts for Script Revolution and Shootin'...Read more

About The Writer

Brett Martin's picture
Real name: 

Brett Martin is an unrepped screenwriter and freelance reader living in Los Angeles. He sold an action/thriller to Quixotic Productions, which is owned by Brett Stimely (Watchmen, Transformers 3). Destiny Pictures recently hired Brett to write a sports drama inspired by true events. CineVita...Read more

Tower of Strength - Nothing’s more intense than a good cop story.

Tower of Strength
Good Guys vs. Bad Guys isn’t always well-defined…

Crime tales have built-in tension. There are always good guys – usually the police. And the Bad Guys run the gamut of Evil: one hundred and fifty Shades of “grey”. For anyone who loves such gritty tales, you can usually expect one pivotal scene: usually with three ingredients – a cop, an interrogation room, and a suspect.

And the conflict goes wild from there.

The good cop in Jeremy Storey’s Tower of Strength is a detective named Peter. When TOS opens, Peter has suspect Alex in custody – imprisoned in a cramped interrogation room. As Peter turns his tape recorder on, the lightning quick questions begin.

PETER
Please state your name for the record.

ALEX
Alex Barnes.

PETER
Where do you live?

ALEX
456 Dorchester.

PETER
Where do you work?

ALEX
Crescent Security.

Sound familiar? Well, just you wait.

Because, just about the time you think Peter may elicit that confession of guilt: “Peter’s voice starts to fade. Alex looks over his shoulder to the outside. He’s no longer listening… just looking at the sky” …

The next scene describes Alex “tightening a few bolts” on his son Ben’s new bicycle. And hence the tragic flashback begins…

What’s the “gotcha” of this story?

Well, Peter’s got a grisly murder to solve. He thinks – in fact, he’s damn certain — that this “ruggedly handsome, athletic” father is somehow involved in the bloody mix.

So who exactly has been killed?

No spoiler here: but there are bad cartel guys across the border. A gang of murderous thugs and monsters that take-no-prisoners-alive.

PETER
These ‘monsters’ are like locusts. For every one put away or put down another three will appear. For every eye they take two. They fear no one.

ALEX
You’re worried about retaliation?

PETER
It’ll be a bloodbath.

Absolutely. Alex is a guy with a different agenda – one he keeps very close to his chest. Will Peter be able to solve the murderous crime? Does he even have the right suspect?

Maybe, maybe not… And for folks who love crime stories, that mystery’s the juicy part.

Are you a director on the hunt for a riveting drama – one with adrenaline-pumping tension and pace? Then TOS could be your fix. It doesn’t get much better than this…

The Script

Tower of Strength

A father with a violent and mysterious past seeks retribution, after his son is tragically killed in the cross-fire between rival gangs.

About The Reviewer

KP Mackie's picture
Real name: 

Über reader. I enjoy writing animated scripts, historical-fiction and westerns, when I'm not reading or researching new story ideas. So many ideas, so little time... Script Revolution is a great place to interact with old friends and make new friends. (As a former MoviePoet member, I...Read more

About The Writer

Jeremy Storey's picture
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Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

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