Shootin' The Shorts | Page 4 | Script Revolution

Shootin' The Shorts

Shootin' The Shorts is run by J.E. Clarke a longtime prolific screenwriter who loves to give others a little boost in the marketplace by highlighting why she believes their short script may stand out. She brings with her a loyal band of readers who share the same compassionate attitude who have joined her cause as it's grown and grown to connect writers with filmmakers on a monthly basis. Now it finds a home here on Script Revolution.

This is all about highlighting what makes a script great by focusing on the positives. You'll find no negative criticism or lists of issues here. Submitting a short script for consideration couldn't be easier, simply scroll down to the bottom of your script edit page and tick the "Submit to Shootin' The Shorts" checkbox. Please note; it takes time to get through all submissions, everything is subjective, and we're by no means saying these are the best short scripts on Script Revolution, they are simply the ones that have found an admirer within this section - CJ

Knight of the Kolossos - Some Games Run Longer Than One Might Expect

Knight of the Kolossos
A pair of detectives investigate a fanatical serial killer on a deadly quest spanning two millennia.

From the imagination of accomplished author Jeremy B. Storey comes a murder mystery with a twist, Knight of the Kolossos. Lenny Delveccio and Amanda Wincott, two NYPD detectives, examine a crime scene where a well off couple have been murdered.

Even from the start, something just doesn’t make sense. The killer’s choice of hemlock as a means to end the lives of these individuals is puzzling enough, but an apartment’s worth of untouched expensive items and the discovery of a secret room throw up more questions than the two detectives are comfortable with.

Delveccio and Wincott desperately to try piece together the meagre clues to work out who the perpetrator is before they strike again.

To confuse matters further, the two are watched by a mysterious figure in a Greek fisherman’s hat and their investigation is interrupted by a French Interpol officer. Nothing is quite adding up.

WINCOTT
Mr. and Mrs. Oakley. Patriarch and
Matriarch of the redonkulously wealthy Oakley clan.

DELVECCIO
No shit. They don't send Major Crimes
for a runa-the-mill home invasion.
These fuckers have ties at 1PP. And
after 3 months on this team you know
exactly what that means.

WINCOTT
The eye of Commisioner Sauron is on us.
Understood, loud and clear.
Okay, so it doesn't look like forced
entry or any signs of a struggle.

DELVECCIO
Three table settings.

WINCOTT
So, our dinner guest is either a witness,
a perp, or dead elsewhere.

DELVECCIO
Dollars-to-donuts it's the perp.

WINCOTT
Why so certain?

DELVECCIO
Vics used their spoons. Guest didn't.

WINCOTT
Maybe wasn't a fan of the soup.

DELVECCIO
Maybe 'cos he knew it was poisoned.

WINCOTT
With what?

DELVECCIO
Rigidity suggests they were paralyzed
before dying. And... the fennel aroma.

WINCOTT
Which means...?

DELVECCIO
Means hemlock was the cause of death.

WINCOTT
So our perp has a taste for murder,
with a side of cruelty.

As the detectives struggle, the mystery deepens ever more.

Cutting between ancient Greece and today's NYC, the narrative slowly reveals a past motivation is driving these murders into present-day. A millennia old tale that has been assumed folklore emerges and starts to bleed into the streets of modern New York.

Will our detectives be able to figure out the crime before further victims are claimed?

With expert writing and style, Storey has created an effortless, elegant short that hooks the reader in and keeps them engaged throughout.

Mystery lies at the heart of Kolossos, driving the characters and story towards a thrilling crescendo, where ancient and present timelines connect, and long hidden secrets are revealed.

If you are a producer or director looking for an engrossing murder mystery script for your next work – one that’ll keep audiences talking throughout the “ages” - then Knight of the Kolossos is a must read - and win!

 

 

The Script

Knight of the Kolossos

A pair of detectives investigate a fanatical serial killer on a deadly quest spanning two millennia.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

Control - Sometimes, One Must Let Go

Control
Filip, a young officer working as a Control Officer in a future dominated by Scientism,
must arrest those based on their emotions, but the toll of the job leads to unexpected consequences.

Author Alexander Taylor brings us Control, a futuristic script set in Bratislava that envisions an ever present police state where human emotion is suppressed due to the Scientism movement.

Part of the police force who enforce these draconian measures are two brothers, Filip and Havel.

Society, now dominated by Scientism and a belief in computerised machinery, has been enveloped by technology - and it is this that the police use to spy upon the public.

Our central protagonist, Filip, understands the ills of what he’s employed to enforce: a sentiment that lies directly counter to those of Havel, who enacts his job with unrelenting brutality.

The two brothers conduct raids on houses where the unsuspecting residents have let their emotions be shown: these unfortunate members of society are beaten down by the movement both brothers represent.

Havel checks the information on a tablet. A blue, hazy light fills the damp and dark room.
He waves to two of his men, who move forward and open a briefcase.

HAVEL
We have received numerous reports concerning suspicious activity
conducted on these premises. Section 102 District Code states any report
with regards to emotional fluctuation must be investigated.
Do you understand why we are here today, sir?

JONAS KOSTROVA
(Unconvincingly)
No.

HAVEL
Emotional fluctuation may include laughter, temper, lachrymation...

Iva lets out a sob. This alarms the room.

HAVEL
A.k.a. Crying.

She covers her mouth with one hand whilst bowing her head. It is not enough, and has caught the attention of the room.

JONAS KOSTROVA
My wife. She is sick. Iva. She is not well. For days...

The talking continues, but becomes background noise.

Our focus returns to Filip, whose forehead now bleeds sweat. His eyes dart back from the sad couple to the commanding officer, Havel.

From there, we follow Filip’s journey as he questions his actions and the motivations of those around him. Will he fight against a system he does not ultimately believe in, and his brother - sworn to enforce it no matter what?

Many readers will find Control’s message and relevance painfully current. We now live in a time where personal surveillance of our own behavioural patterns are studied by governments and companies through social media and beyond. With overtones of both 1984 and Minority Report, Taylor brings us a script that depicts a dystopian future: one that comments profoundly on society now.

If you're a producer or director looking to bring to life a short screenplay that will hit audiences hard, making them question even their own surroundings… then Control is a must read. "Control" this story - by bringing it to life!

The Script

Control

Filip, a young officer working as a Control Officer in a future dominated by Scientism, must arrest those based on their emotions, but the toll of the job leads to unexpected consequences.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Alexander Taylor's picture
Real name: 

Welcome.

I am a script writer and editor based in Durham, UK. I use my experience in performing Stand up and Sketch comedy to bring my scripts to life. My favourite screenplay is Anomalisa by Charlie Kaufman. My favourite book is The Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. My...Read more

Mortician - Some Stories Are Eternal

The Mortician
When a young man takes refuge from a storm in the local morgue,
he quickly becomes enamored by the female undertaker.

Author Paul Hutchinson brings us The Mortician, an engrossing short horror pumped full of charm and intrigue.

Gruesomely enough, we open in a morgue where our mortician protagonist, Sara Douglas, works on a dead body. Unflinching with an expert hand, she tends to the cadaver that lies on the slab in front of her. Outside, a fierce storm howls.

All is quiet until Ben, a young man who most certainly is not comfortable surrounded by the dead, enters. The two share friendly conversation and even a birthday cake, as Ben struggles to figure out why Sara has chosen her career path, and how she manages to stay calm – even zen - in her place of work.

A flash of lightning illuminates the heavy rainfall outside.

Ben’s gaze turns to the cadaver.

BEN
How do you do it?

Sara holds up the syringe.

SARA
It’s just a bit of tissue builder.
You inject straight into the eyeball and...

Sara trails off as Ben turns the color of his gown.

BEN
I meant... How can you stand being here... Alone...

SARA
It’s quiet. I like that. Besides... They’re no trouble... Most of the time.

BEN
Most of the time?

Sara laughs.

Conversation flows between the two as Ben is drawn towards Sara. But something’s not quite right.

Maybe it’s just the power cuts brought on by the storm, or possibly being surrounded by dead bodies in such a small space. But even with birthday cake, Ben’s sense of doom grows. Something odd is going on.

With an effortless writing style, Paul has crafted a wonderful short screenplay with The Mortician. The characters  feel real… along with a charm to the work that cuts through the macabre locale.  There’s just that little question: what exactly’s going on here, and why?

Budgetarily, The Mortician is a slam (or is that slab?) dunk: with minimal cast and largely based on one location, it would be a breeze to shoot.

In other words, a brilliant little short just waiting for the right director to bring Sara and Ben’s story to life!

 

The Script

The Mortician

When a young man takes refuge from a storm in the local morgue, he quickly becomes enamored by the female undertaker.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
Real name: 

Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Recently graduated from the London Film School and I'm now attempting to get some of these wonderful pieces of work out there into the real world. If...Read more

About The Writer

Paul Hutchinson's picture
Real name: 

I am a dedicated and imaginative Screenwriter located at the centre of the universe (Chesterfield, Derbyshire, UK). I am more than happy to try my hand at different writing mediums and to that end, I have also written three sci-fi/fantasy novels. When I’m not writing my...Read more

Clear Win: Win-Win... or Wine, Wine?

Clear Win
A young man and a young woman battle over the last bottle of vodka.
Pride is at stake on both sides, but is there a greater win to be had?

Not all romantic stories about opposites attracting can be ‘When Harry Met Sally’ or ‘Pretty Woman’. You don’t always have New York in the fall as a wonderful backdrop or get a knight in shining armor to sweep you off the streets of LA into a new life of lavish gifts and polo matches.

Occasionally, you might just happen to meet someone while you’re off running a mundane errand, such as buying some booze. Even then, your initial chitchat may not be laced with crackling innuendo. Instead, it might be riddled with acerbic aspersions.

But then the unexpected happens; you stumble upon a commonality, a shared belief, an empathetic moment… and everything changes. Love is in the air and the erstwhile adversaries become a future twosome.

Such is the way with Fiona Faith Ross’ lighthearted and romantic tale; ‘Clear Win’. In this instance a  ‘her’ and a ‘him’ find themselves at odds in a convenience store as they aggressively fight for control over the store’s last bottle of cheap vodka.

HER
I saw it first.

HIM
Bollocks.

HER
Don’t you swear at me. I’ll have you arrested.

HIM
For not giving you your own way?

Both dig in their heels. Neither willing to give an inch to the other in an epic battle of ‘who gets to go home and get shitfaced on cheap-ass vodka’.

They each make a rather lame attempt to justify why one of them deserves the bottle over the other. Failing this, ‘Her’ uses her feminine charms to subtly disarm ‘Him’ to the extent he loosens his grip on the bottle. Using the moment to Her advantage, the woman successfully snatches the bottle away from ‘Him’.

But he won’t go that easily into the night. The young man clamps his hand around the bottle again. At this point, the young woman decides she has had enough of the games.

HER
Have it then, jerk.

Instead of wallowing in his victory, ‘Him’ stumbles over ‘Her’s’ shopping basket and lands on the floor with a thud. But not before smashing the prized bottle of vodka. Which inevitably leads to additional bickering over who should now cover the cost of the shattered bottle.

However, as they make their way to the check out, their squabbling segues into a fleeting détente as the truth about why they are at the store, and what they had intended to use the vodka for emerges… eliciting a brief moment of empathy and mutual curiosity between the young ‘Him’ and ‘Her’.

Love often seems to find us in the strangest of places. And not every first exchange will inspire an enchanting Shakespearean sonnet. Sometimes the first words we say to someone is the anthesis of how we’ll eventually feel about them.

Which is why this delightful short screenplay by Fiona Faith Ross is such a playful morsel of flirtatious whimsy. An excellent opportunity for a new filmmaker looking for a simple, yet captivating project in which to showcase their budding creative dexterity.

 

 

The Script

Clear Win

A young man and a young woman battle over the last bottle of vodka. Pride is at stake on both sides, but is there a greater win to be had?

About The Reviewer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

About The Writer

Fiona Faith Ross's picture
Real name: 

FADE IN.

So, CJ asks...

  • Where your passion lies.
  • Your journey so far.
  • Where you want to go.
  • What makes you special?
  • What you’re working on.

It's a kick up the ***. Five times. Got me thinking.

Writing a bio is crap,...Read more

Midnight Clear - Sometimes Night is When You See the Best...

Midnight Clear
Nearing Christmas, a man with a peculiar talent
attempts to give his grieving wife the most precious gift of all.

“Stages of grief” have become a popular way of describing the numerous ways people navigate the loss of a loved one. But grieving is rarely unidirectional. Within moments of profound sadness, there can be instances of peace and even joy; flashes of happiness torn asunder when the reality of loss manifests again.

Steven Clark’s Midnight Clear beautifully captures the melancholic twists that the path of grieving often takes.

Married couple Steve and Bryn’s shared life seems ideal. When the script opens, they’re home together for the holiday. The house itself is cute; chock full of character and charm. Steve sips on champagne as he puts the finishing touches on a model village. He taps gently on the church steeple, the entire town lights up like a million dots of fairy dust. Magic. Or so it seems.

Bryn compliments her husband on the amazing dinner he prepared. Effortlessly, she clears the table and starts the dishwasher. As a favorite LP plays, the two embrace and affectionately reminisce about their first dance.

Continuing the late night celebration, Bryn and Steve take a walk together with their son to a nearby park. Steve leans back against the car – while mother and child play a game of hide and seek.

Basketball, tennis courts. See-saws and swings.

Bryn meanders around a jungle gym, searching. Another tug at her coat.

BRYN
There you are!

She giggles and gives chase.

But the specter of grief haunts them all – and in very different ways.

Maybe Bryn and Steve don’t realize it (or perhaps they do), but the harmony of their picture perfect evening will soon come to an end. The reality of their loss will return full force, leaving audiences surprised… and deeply moved.

Are you a director with a preference for naked, true drama – yearning for a story with soul? Then give Midnight Clear a read. If you’ve got a poet’s touch, maybe you’re fated to shepherd it to the screen.

The Script

Midnight Clear

Unable to forget the past, Bryn has just one Christmas wish, and her husband, who possesses a very special power, is just the man to grant it.

About The Reviewer

Julia Cottle's picture
Real name: 

Julia Cottle is a cultural anthropologist living in Chicago. She has worked for years as a university instructor and researcher for organizations committed to social justice. She always has loved to write, but only recently has discovered the joy of film and stage writing.Read more

About The Writer

Steven Clark's picture
Real name: 

A writer since 13, I began screenwriting four years ago as a more direct outlet for my creativity. Since then, I've had two short scripts produced, and two more optioned. My writing style is subtle and understated, yet powerful in its emotional simplicity. I'm currently collaborating...Read more

Living Nightmare - There's No Escape!

Living Nightmare
A woman with severe insomnia finally gets some rest, but it comes with horrific consequences.

 “My best dreams and worst nightmares have the same people in them” – Philippos Syrigos

There’s something both delightful and harrowing about the perpetually morphing nature of our dreamscapes. The ethereal vignettes our subconscious spawns when we sleep are often nothing like the reality of our waking lives. They follow no rules of time or reality. One minute you can be a kid again, riding a bike with your best friend. The next minute the Earth is swallowing you whole while space demons hound you into a hellish oblivion. They often make no sense on the surface, and yet they tell so much about our unconscious mind. Our fears. Our hopes. Our regrets.

‘Living Nightmare’ by Warren Duncan brilliantly explores what can happen when our conscious mind can no longer distinguish between realism and fantasy.

Cassie is a 30-year old woman who suffers from insomnia. Concerned about her ceaseless exhaustion and lethargy, she eventually visits a doctor. She tells him about her problem, and that when she does nod-off it’s not a restful sleep and nor can she recall her dreams.

In response, her doctor prescribes something to help her get some shuteye.

DR. FOSTER
I think it’s a classic case of Insomnia.
I’m going to give you something to help you sleep.

He produces a prescription pad and fills the top of the page.

CASSIE
Are there any side effects?

DR. FOSTER
Nothing to worry about. 
Some people suffer from dry mouth,
others report vivid dreams,
at the very worst you may sleep walk.
If you experience anything more severe,
let me know and we can try a different medication.

Armed with her new sleeping pills Cassie hits the sack and for the first time in a long time she has a long, deep and peaceful sleep. However, just as the doctor had cautioned, she experiences ‘vivid dreams’.

Initially this ‘side effect’ is welcomed by Cassie, as she get to dream of her long-lost twin sister, Jemma.

Within a few days the dark bags under Cassie’s eyes begin to fade away and her countenance goes from bone-weary and gloomy to vibrant and positive.

Sadly, this blissful state doesn’t last long, as Cassie’s dreams about her estranged sister become more vivid and intense. Her unconscious grief regarding Jemma pervasively manifests itself in dreams that evolve from whimsical nostalgia to visceral nightmares.

Desperate and frightened, she goes back to her doctor seeking a way to quit the sleeping pills. He prescribes her something else but warns her it’ll take a few days to get the other drugs out of her system.

Too terrified to sleep, Cassie tries to stay awake until the potent sleep drugs dissipate. But there’s only so long a person can resist sleep, as they will inevitably close their eyes and surrender to the sandman.

Once this happens, it’s impossible to avoid the wicked nightmares that have been plaguing your unconscious imagination.

Warren Duncan’s unsettling tale deftly leads the audience to a sickening and cruel twist that’ll leave some dreading a return to the land of Nod. But for filmmakers influenced by disturbing yet evocative movies such as Nightmare on Elm Street, Dreamscape and The Cell, this is the perfect short screenplay to take your directing skills and creative brand to the next level.

Just remember to leave the light on when you read this… as the last thing you’ll want is to take this story into your own dreams.

 

 

The Script

Living Nightmare

A woman with severe insomnia finally gets some rest, but it comes with horrific consequences.

About The Reviewer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

About The Writer

Warren Duncan's picture
Real name: 

I am an aspiring screenwriter from Australia. I have had multiple shorts produced and currently have several on option. I typically enjoy writing horror, thriller, and drama scripts. Please feel free to contact me at Warren_Duncan@hotmail.com or...Read more

Critics, Inc - Everyone's a Critic... Right?!?

Critics, Inc
A sculptor finds himself at an office of art critics where he ends up
in an unusual battle of commerce versus art.

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.” – Benjamin Franklin.

Whether you are an artist who writes, makes music, paints, or sculpts, you cannot escape the inevitability of criticism. Good or bad. We live in an era that makes it possible for us to share our art broadly with a wide variety of different people. Conversely, exposing our creative expressions to a largely anonymous community encourages festering critics to cast aspersions without consequence or care.

‘Critics, Inc.’ by Chris Esper is a satirical parable about how artists respond and react to criticism, and in turn, how critiques handle being criticized for their criticism.

Take our protagonist, Arthur. A sculptor on a mission to chat with a critic who works for, ‘Critics, Inc’ – a business that specializes in reproachful candor.  He only wants to meet the person who reviewed his sculpture and ask them a simple question.

Problem is, ‘Critics, Inc’  is a cross between a hilariously busy vet clinic and a mind-numbing DMV. As evidenced by this exchange with a rather dispassionate receptionist;

ARTHUR
Mrs. Trotter wrote a review of this piece and I wanted to talk further about it.

RECEPTIONIST
You’ll have to see someone in Rubuttal about that and she’ll answer you then.

ARTHUR
Rebuttal? No, no. It wasn’t a bad review. I just had a question for her.

RECEPTIONIST
I’m afraid you can’t speak with her. Take a number and I’ll take you to someone.

ARTHUR
A number?

He points to a ticket dispenser. Arthur grabs number 21.

As Arthur stands by, he talks with a woman waiting to speak with a critic. She explains to Arthur that the true purpose of ‘Critics, Inc.’ is the systemic dismemberment of artistical work.

WOMAN
This is where all the critics of all mediums do their ’work.’

ARTHUR
I never heard of a central place for critique.

WOMAN
It’s not even critiquing.--They go in for the kill.

Arthur eventually makes his way to ‘Rebuttal Department’, where artists such as himself are given a chance to explain and justify the merits of their art before a contemptuous set of judges. However, his simmering frustration boils over when he witnesses the work of other artists treated with gleeful disdain by the pitiless arbitrators.

Instead of waiting in line for the inescapable scolding of this sculpture, he takes matters into his own hands and decides to bypass the red tape and find the woman he’s come to speak with.

Eventually, Arthur’s grueling, soul-sucking journey takes him to Jane -- the critic that didn’t criticize his work, but merely made an observation which provoked Arthur’s insatiable curiosity.

What follows is a quirky confab in which the artist and the critic learn they have much in common. Some critics are failed or exhausted artists, and some artists are critics of their peers, blissfully unaware of the negative impact their words can manifest.

Chris Esper’s caustic rumination on the reverberations of critical judgment will have you nodding along in simpatico. This empathetic story reminds us that artists brave enough to share their work must also have the courage to withstand the withering echo of criticism that will inexorably follow.

For a filmmaker influenced by satirical stalwarts such as Woody Allen, Mike Judge and Alexander Payne, this is a wonderful script for showcasing your ability to produce a film that audiences will find equal parts amusing and contemplative.

Check it out. Just make sure, if you do feel a need to incorporate your criticism… imagine it is yourself receiving the feedback. As we are all artists and critics.

 

The Script

Critics, Inc.

A sculptor finds himself at an office of art critics where he ends up in an unusual battle of commerce versus art.

About The Reviewer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

About The Writer

Chris Esper's picture
Real name: 

Hello, I'm Chris Esper, founder of Stories in Motion.

I started Stories in Motion as a production company because I not only love filmmaking, but I also love storytelling. For me, powerful and effective filmmaking and videography starts with the story. My goal with every project is to...Read more

Cemetery Shadows - What Awaits May Surprise You...

Cemetery Shadows
A tiny cemetery is home to four disparate spirits.
Their eternal existence is disrupted when a new arrival appears at the gate
and no one is quite sure what tomorrow will bring. 

There’s a reason many people loathe the idea of visiting a graveyard after sunset. Our over-active imagination conjures frightening visions of ghouls haunting the hallowed grounds of the dead, because apparently ethereal spirits have nothing better to do than take perverse pleasure in frightening the piss out of their corporeal visitors.

Cemetery Shadows by David R. Beshears imagines just such a scene, minus the spooked human visitors. Indeed, the spirits that haunt this mysterious graveyard are polite, intelligent and friendly. Each evening, as light turns to dark, Major, Derrick, John and Margaret emerge from their macabre slumber to socialize with their fellow apparitions.                       

MAJOR
Good evening, everyone.           

John Saunders nods in response. Mrs. Weatherly continues to drift slowly among the tombstones.

Derrick looks casually about, nods in the direction of Major.

DERRICK
Major.

MAJOR
Another pleasant evening, I would say.

JOHN
Same as every evening, Major.

MAJOR
No less pleasant for that, Mr. Saunders.

Such is the way in this eerie world. The four specters wake for the night, pleasantly socialize together walk about, and then return to their sallow slumber at sunrise. Then wake up at sunset, rinse and repeat. It’s a strange routine that none of them seem to question. Until one night, an enigmatic new spirit materializes without warning, arousing curiosity from the graveyard’s ghostly patrons.

Unlike the other residents of the graveyard community, the newcomer Sara is at odds with her surroundings. Confused and agitated she unsettles the others with her angst.

DERRICK
Waddya think, Major?

Major gives a stern look to Sara.

MAJOR
Miss Keyes? A broken bird, that one.

DERRICK
There’s something odd about her.
 (shaking his head)
Something… different.

And yes, there is indeed something decidedly different with Sara. Despite her disorientation, she knows inside there is a purpose and reason for her appearing at this cryptic home of the dead. But once she eventually realizes her why and wherefore, it’ll have a serious impact on the small ghostly community, changing it forever.

Beshear’s haunting and idiosyncratic story is a unique mix of Twilight Zone meets Satre. For the filmmaker seeking to direct something unusual that will elevate their craft to the next level and challenge them creatively, then this is a scary-good option. It will also be the type of short film that audiences on the festival circuit will find deeply satisfying and unusually poignant.

Check out this screenplay… it would be a grave mistake no to.

 

About The Reviewer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was clearly in his DNA to tell stories. However,...Read more

Driver Les - Hit It!!

Driver Les
When their getaway driver leaves them stranded after a bank robbery,
two thieves unknowingly hijack a driverless car with a mind of its own.

Cars, more specifically driverless cars, feature prominently in film. From Johnnycab, the ventriloquist-like dummy of Total Recall, to the flying cars of Minority Report and Blade Runner, to quirky KITT in Nightrider, and Herbie, the titular sentient anthropomorphic 1963 Volkswagen Beetle of the movie of the same name.

We generally associate driverless cars with science fiction, however the horror genre introduced us to Steven King’s homicidal Christine, Pixar gave us Cars, and Thomas The Tank Engine and Friends is a beloved children’s favourite.

And now, writer, Larry Postel expertly blends futuristic with comedy crime-caper and introduces us to the aptly named: Driver Les.

We open on two bank robbers who may well go down in the annals as two of the ‘world’s dumbest’, but also lovable criminal characters. They’ve just ‘won the lottery’- so to speak – only to discover their getaway driver has done a runner, and they’ve been left high and dry in the middle of the street, bag of money slung over a shoulder – notes threatening to spill out onto the pavement – and sirens pealing in the near distance.

Things are not looking good for our guys…

They’re just about to give it all away when quite suddenly and fortuitously they happen upon Driver Les, a fully automated driver-less vehicle rolling down the road without a fare.

In their hour of need Driver Les appears to be a dream come true. He’s amiable and accommodating – if bordering on a little needy – and eager to please, offering a library of music available for the boy’s listening pleasure, and an equally impressive selection of refreshing beverages on hand.

When the boys discover the car is equipped with cameras and their driver possesses a photo-memory, the boys freak out, until Driver Les reassures them

DRIVER LES (V.O.)
… you gentleman are very pleasant.
There is no suspicious activity here.
(pause)
Other than the fact that you are skiing in the middle of July.

ROBBER 2
Huh?

ROBBER 1
(mutters)
The ski masks, numbnuts.

Destination reached, our robbers are so impressed the decision is made to book Driver Les as getaway driver for their next bank heist.

Hmm, whatever could go wrong?

In a funny and ironic final-act twist, just when we think our robbers are into the home stretch and going to get off scot-free, yet again, one of our dim-witted robbers makes a serious error in judgement. It’s a mistake that offends Driver Les – in fact it’s one of Driver Les’s ‘pet peeves’. It’s a big boo-boo that has both boys wishing they’d taken the bus, hailed a cab, or otherwise just hot-footed it up the road with the loot.

Written with perfectly timed humour and wit, Driver Les is sure to be a crowd pleaser at festivals.

Filmmakers: It’s time to take this one to the finish line. Hop in the driver’s seat, get behind the wheel, and put your foot down fast, lest you get run over in the rush.

Production: You’ll want to be a little ingenious with the shoot, but Larry’s made it easier for you with most of the action focused on the two leads in the back seat. Three main characters. One character: V.O. only. A car, some cold hard cash of the counterfeit variety, a couple of ski masks, and you’ll be ready to hit the road.

The Script

Driver Les

When their getaway driver leaves them stranded after a bank robbery, two thieves unknowingly hijack a driverless car with a mind of its own.

About The Reviewer

L. Chambers's picture
Real name: 

L.Chambers has been writing all her life – especially in her head, and on scraps of paper. It’s only in the last few years she began to get serious about screen-writing. Prior to this she worked in the Features Department for ABC TV as a Program Assistant, and trained as a FAD. She currently...Read more

About The Writer

Larry Postel's picture
Real name: 

Larry is an award-winning (WGA) screenwriter and advertising copywriter.  Three of Larry's original spec screenplays -- FLIP TURN, HIGH HOLIDAY and THE MAIN EVENT -- were produced in 2019 and will be released in 2020.  

 Read more

Favourite Son - Do Family Conflicts *Ever* Change?

Favourite Son
"Two brothers reassess their relationship as they sit stranded on the side of a road,
with a stolen hearse containing the body of their father."

Strife. Competition. Envy. Anyone with a brother or a sister might recognize some negative aspects of sibling rivalry here. Distressing family dynamics that could span a lifetime. But more often not, there is also love.

Perhaps all it takes is an impulsive act to exhume it.

Which is exactly where estranged brothers Ammon and Benjamin find themselves in Aaron Kent's compelling screenplay, Favourite Son. On the day of the funeral, younger brother Benjamin has stolen the hearse with their father's coffin inside. Paused off a country road, “a quaint English roadside forest” behind them, the two brothers bicker wildly: 

BENJAMIN
You're a dick.

AMMON
I'm a dick?! You're the one that stole a fucking hearse.

BENJAMIN
I didn't steal it, I just... 

AMMON
Borrowed it? That old cliché?

Benjamin picks up Ammon's shoe and throws it into the woods.

BENJAMIN
Fetch.

AMMON
Jeez Benjamin, you really are a miniature dad.

Ammon starts to trudge off into the trees.

BENJAMIN
That's not a bad thing!

AMMON
Anger issues are always a bad thing!

Benjamin picks up a stick and throws it in Ammon’s general direction.

BENJAMIN
He was a good man!

Ammon runs back with his shoe in one hand.

AMMON
Good men don't smash plates against walls because you couldn't eat it all.
Good men don't lift their child to the ceiling and drop him.
Good men don't sleep with the babysitter.

Is such animosity between siblings inevitable? 

It’s an age-old question, and a frequent topic for movies. Relationships between brothers are also examined in The Lion King, Brothers and The Fighter, between sisters in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, In Her Shoes and The Other Boleyn Girl, and between brothers and sisters in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Cruel Intentions and The Savages.

At least Ammon and Benjamin are talking. The barbs are flying, but there are moments of levity, too:

Ammon puts his hand to his head, there is a watch on his wrist. 

BENJAMIN 
Why'd you steal dad's watch? 

AMMON 
I'm not stealing it, I'm just borrowing it.

Benjamin smiles. 

Harboring deep-rooted hurts, will Ammon and Benjamin ever find resolution? And even if they do, what should be done about the stolen hearse with dear old dad inside?

Favourite Son is captivating. If you’re a director with an ear for dynamic dialogue, take it for a ride. The roadside location provides a colorful backdrop for two actors to showcase their talents. And what about that hearse? Just borrow one…  ;D 

The Script

Favourite Son

Two brothers reassess their relationship as they sit stranded on the side of a road, with a stolen hearse containing the body of their father.

About The Reviewer

KP Mackie's picture
Real name: 

Über reader. I enjoy writing animated scripts, historical-fiction and westerns, when I'm not reading or researching new story ideas. So many ideas, so little time...

Script Revolution is a great place to interact with old friends and make new friends. It's all about networking!  ;D  ...Read more

About The Writer

Aaron Kent's picture
Real name: 

UK-based poet. Editor/creative director of publishing press Broken Sleep Books. Occasional screenwriter. Poetry published by: zimZalla, Dostoyevsky Wannabee, Prote(s)xt, Knives Forks and Spoons, Guillemot. Massive Godzilla fan.Read more

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