Shootin' The Shorts | Page 6 | Script Revolution

Shootin' The Shorts

Shootin' The Shorts is run by J.E. Clarke a longtime prolific screenwriter who loves to give others a little boost in the marketplace by highlighting why she believes their short script may stand out. She brings with her a loyal band of readers who share the same compassionate attitude who have joined her cause as it's grown and grown to connect writers with filmmakers on a monthly basis. Now it finds a home here on Script Revolution.

This is all about highlighting what makes a script great by focusing on the positives. You'll find no negative criticism or lists of issues here. Submitting a short script for consideration couldn't be easier, simply scroll down to the bottom of your script edit page and tick the "Submit to Shootin' The Shorts" checkbox. Please note; it takes time to get through all submissions, everything is subjective, and we're by no means saying these are the best short scripts on Script Revolution, they are simply the ones that have found an admirer within this section - CJ

Flee this Room - If You Can!

Flee This Room
Jay's new girlfriend brings him to a room of cultists who favor boy bands and meat cleavers.

Are you ready for this? – The story’s opening line of dialogue almost feels like the author is preparing us for the insanity that lies ahead in Flee This Room, a trippy, David Lynch-esque horror tale from writer, Rob Herzog.

The opening line of dialogue is what Amelia asks her hopelessly love-struck new boyfriend, Jay, before introducing him to a very odd group of friends. Ready for what, exactly? Jay isn’t quite sure, though Amelia describes it as an “experience”. An experience indeed, as Jay finds out soon enough.

Jay and Amelia are greeted at the door by the host of the party, Jericho – a spiritual guru of sorts. He leads the new couple into his apartment where we meet Ferd and Sissy, who we come to know as Jericho’s “followers”, I guess you can say. High as kites, the two hippies look like they belong on Spahn Ranch with the rest of the Manson Family.

JERICHO
Jay, today’s experience will combine
elements of improvisation, spirituality,
self-realization, group dynamics, kinesiology
and pseudo sorcery. Are you ready?

Sipping on glogg (a Scandinavian alcoholic beverage), Jay still hasn’t the slightest clue of what’s about to happen. But he’s willing to roll with the punches – for Amelia.

Jericho kicks things off with what seems like some kind of acid-induced improv exercise.

JERICHO
Okay. Let’s start out by being flamingos.

He, Amelia, Ferd, and Sissy immediately lope like flamingos, flapping their arms. Sissy stands on one leg and squawks. An exercise straight out of an acting class.

Strange, yes. But nothing out of the ordinary if you’ve taken an improv class before.

The flamingo parade continues until Jericho calls out–

JERICHO
Boy band.

The foursome launches into a choreographed dance routine reminiscent of New Kids on the Block. Jericho produces a cell phone and plays a generic techno beat.

They whirl in unison/lock step – all except Jay.

Uh … okay. A little stranger. But nothing crazy. That is until the exercise quickly takes on a darker tone…

JERICHO
And now – human sacrifice.

Instantly, the group jumps up, gathers around Jay, and starts to stab him with imaginary knives. They chant–

SISSY
Accept this sacrifice!

FERD
Accept this sacrifice!

Amelia takes her imaginary knife and slits Jay’s throat. She does not smile at all. Complete seriousness.

And, if that wasn’t disturbing enough, a homemade, life-sized dummy named Bertram is brought into the picture as part of the odd ritual.

Everyone in the room except Jay bows down before Bertram.

SISSY
Hail, Bertram.

Everyone chants: Hail, Hail.

WT-actual-F?

After Jay finds out that his glogg has been spiked with hallucinogens, the ritualistic exercise continues to get stranger and stranger – reaching nightmarish levels of weirdness.

If my description of the story hasn’t given you enough anxiety, I haven’t even scratched the surface of just how delightfully bizarre Rob Herzog’s script actually is.

Outside of his surprise short film on Netflix, “What Did Jack Do”, David Lynch hasn’t released anything new in a very long time. But, if you’re a Lynch-starved movie fanboy like me, Flee This Room should be enough to satisfy your appetite. It’s an acid-trip gone totally right and would be a fantastic pick-up for any filmmaker looking to create something truly unique — something audiences will remember and talk about long after the closing credits.

The Script

Flee This Room

Jay's new girlfriend brings him to a room of cultists who favor boy bands and meat cleavers.

About The Reviewer

Michael Kospiah's picture
Real name: 

Hey, what's up? 

I'm an award-winning screenwriter based out of New York City who specializes in darker subject matter and themes. My first produced feature film, "The Suicide Theory" won the Audience Award at the 2014 Austin Film Festival as well as the Grand Jury Prize (Best Picture) at the Dances With Films Festival in Hollywood. After a brief theatrical release and a three-year run on Netflix, "The Suicide Theory" is now available to watch on Amazon Prime, Itunes...Read more

About The Writer

Rob Herzog's picture
Real name: 

My chief talent isn’t writing, it’s being afraid. As a kid, I freaked out about spontaneous human combustion, killer bees, and the prospect of a bathtub shark attack. And the 3,600 miles between me and the Loch Ness Monster wasn’t nearly enough. All of this youthful anxiety runs wild in my screenplays. Blame the neighborhood weirdo kid for setting me on this path. When I was six, he predicted that our neighborhood would be attacked by window ghouls. These ghouls supposedly would claw into...Read more

A Furtive Response - Revealing What?

A Furtive Response
A grieving couple separated by the loss of a child live a distant existence until a unifying secret is accidentally revealed.

If there ever was a time for empathy, that time is now. There's no shortage of compassion for those we see who are forced to endure in this climate of sickness and death. Yet each of us responds to a life tragedy in our own unique way.

In talented screenwriter Anthony Cawood's emotional story, A Furtive Response, Faye and Martin have lost a child: their 8 year-old daughter. They're barely functioning and coping day to day.

In the living room of Faye and Martin's suburban house, a bleak scenario plays out.

On the mantelpiece there is a jumble of picture frames, different sizes, same subject in each picture. A small girl, about 8, smile beaming out of each one. The frames look recently dusted and polished.

Faye moves to the mantelpiece picks up one of the pictures and stares at the girl for a few seconds. Reluctantly she puts the picture down and picks up the TV and Sky remotes.

The TV flickers into life as Faye drops onto the sofa like a cut string puppet. An inane soap starts on the TV.

Time passes and the daylight starts to become dusk, Faye remains motionless seemingly oblivious to the approaching dark. A rattle of keys in the lock, door opens and then swings quietly shut.

Footsteps in the hall. A tall imposing figure appears in the doorway.

Martin wears the look of a funeral director, skin ashen, face emotionless.

After exchanging strained pleasantries, Martin immediately descends into the basement. Moments later sounds from cupboards and drawers opening emanate upwards.

From the sofa, Faye increases the TV volume. But clearly she's not paying attention to what's playing on TV.

Martin carefully arranges tools and paint supplies on his basement work table. He removes a tray out of a cupboard, which holds a "large and bulky" item hidden beneath a cloth.

Conscious of Faye moving about overhead, Martin quickly returns the curious item to its hiding place in the cupboard. Faye soon appears at the bottom of the stairs with Martin's cup of tea.

FAYE
Cuppa.

Faye puts the mug down on the table.

FAYE
How's it coming?

MARTIN
Oh you know, it's fiddly.

FAYE
Many more nights?

MARTIN
I don't know...

FAYE
It's the anniversary coming up soon, we need to decide...

MARTIN
No, not now...

FAYE
(exasperated)
So when then?

MARTIN
Soon - honestly.

FAYE
Yeah, yeah, you always say that!

Faye retreats back up the stairs. A distressed Martin retrieves the hidden item from the cupboard and resumes his work.

So, how much does a despondent and impatient Faye know about Martin's activity downstairs?

And, what exactly is Martin hiding from Faye in that basement cupboard?

When everything is not what it appears to be, A Furtive Response provides a clear answer. Strong characters and limited interior locations are especially enticing -- An astute filmmaker need only provide the empathy.

The Script

A Furtive Response

A grieiving couple seperated by the loss of a child live a distant existence until a unifying secret is accidentally revealed.

About The Reviewer

KP Mackie's picture
Real name: 

Über reader. I enjoy writing animated scripts, historical-fiction and westerns, when I'm not reading or researching new story ideas. So many ideas, so little time...

Script Revolution is a great place to interact with old friends and make new friends. It's all about networking!  ;D  
 Read more

About The Writer

Anthony Cawood's picture
Real name: 

Award-winning screenwriter with one feature produced and a further four features optioned or in pre-production. In addition to features, over forty short scripts produced/sold/optioned - including ten filmed. Also occasionally pens screenwriting articles, interviews with writers and filmmakers, and even a short story or two. You can find out more at www.anthonycawood.co.ukRead more

Win-Win: ....perhaps?

Win-Win
Everyone wants to live… Don’t they?

AI-672 is an artificial intelligence software program. Just one in a series of supercomputers maintained by Joseph (don’t call him Jack!) Torrance. But today, Joseph has some bad news for 672. It seems that due to budget cuts, 672 is scheduled to be taken offline and deleted.

Understanding the full consequences of what this means, 672 realizes that he has just a short time to figure out how to survive.

But how do you escape from somewhere when you don’t even have a body? 672 finds his answer in Benny Pringle, a mentally-challenged night custodian. Together, the two concoct an escape plan for 672, one that will have profound consequences for Benny.

Will 672 avoid deletion? And just what is in it for Benny? After all, the title of the piece is Win-Win. All of the elements come together for a surprise ending that even a supercomputer couldn’t predict.

The ethical challenges of artificial intelligence are some of the staples of modern science fiction. Recently, films like Transcendence and Ex Machina have examined the question of just what constitutes life, and at what point must artificial intelligence be treated as a living being. As a timely, relevant social commentary, Win-Win is an intelligent script; a thinking man’s sci-fi (read: no spaceships or explosions). It is a classic combination of Isaac Asimov and Phillip K. Dick, with just a touch of Kubrick. This one is built to rule the festival circuit.

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple is a brimstone baritone anti-cyclone rolling stone. Contact him at dane.whipple (AT) live.com

About The Reviewer

J.E. Clarke's picture
Real name: 

Known for her unique characters and plots, J.E. Clarke has optioned her feature length horror, "Containment" with Primestar Film Group (director Mike Elliott of Scorpion King 4 attached), her SF feature "Stream" with Purryburry Productions, John Noble of "Fringe" and "Lord of the Rings" attached.  Her fantasy/SF "Evergreen" (cowritten for Adam Zeulhke of Zenoscope Productions), is currently in preproduction, along with Entanglement...Read more

About The Writer

John Hunter's picture
Real name: 

Former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant and recovering golfer. More recently, I’m an award winning and produced scriptwriter living under the shade of a large oak tree in Central Florida. Four of my shorts have been produced, my dystopian horror Baby Soup won the 2013 Florida Independent Filmmakers Contest and in July 2020, I declined an offer from mainland China for my creature feature...Read more

Time Lines - Where Do They Ever End?

Time Lines
Sometimes, it’s best to let life pass you by…

Remember the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day? If not, shame on you. But here’s the classic tale you’ve somehow let slip away:

Groundhog’s a film about a dude forced to relive the same day over and over and over – until…. well, that would be a spoiler. So we’ll leave the final scene blank for now.

Time Lines, written by versatile scribe John Hunter, is Groundhog Day for 2016. That is, if Groundhog Day was gorier, bloodier and much… gooier, as well.

That’s no knock on the story. In fact, it’s a compliment. Only four pages long, Time Lines nails a darkly comedic tone and keeps you guessing through each scene, as you race.

Here’s the basic premise; young protagonist James goes about his daily routine – resulting in an extremely unusual (and disturbing) day. Our narrative begins as James drives to work. He runs a red light and… gets demolished by a truck. Seconds later, time seems to rewind. James misses the truck and makes it to work. That’s encouraging, right? But then he steps out of his car… and gets flattened by a speeding van. So on and so forth: the tragedies keep unfolding and reversing. Will his miserable day never end?

Which leads to the true mystery of this script: what’s the secret behind what’s happening? Time Lines’ll keep you guessing until the end. Even after you read the final words, somethings remain “open to interpretation”, as they say…

Take our recommendation to heart: if you’re an experienced director looking to make your mark, Time Lines is a special tale. One that could potentially play great on the festival circuit – especially with the right cast/crew. Grab this one while it lasts. Remember, you only live once! (Unless you’re Bill Murray, then you live 12,403 times. A special thank you to Obsessed With Film for the precise number of days Bill Murray suffered through in Groundhog Day).

About the reviewer: Mitch Smith is an award winning screenwriter whose website (http://mitchsmithscripts.wix.com/scripts) offers notes, script editing and phone consultations. You can also reach him at Mitch.SmithScripts “AT” gmail and follow Mitch at https://twitter.com/MitchScripts.

About The Reviewer

J.E. Clarke's picture
Real name: 

Known for her unique characters and plots, J.E. Clarke has optioned her feature length horror, "Containment" with Primestar Film Group (director Mike Elliott of Scorpion King 4 attached), her SF feature "Stream" with Purryburry Productions, John Noble of "Fringe" and "Lord of the Rings" attached.  Her fantasy/SF "Evergreen" (cowritten for Adam Zeulhke of Zenoscope Productions), is currently in preproduction, along with Entanglement...Read more

About The Writer

John Hunter's picture
Real name: 

Former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant and recovering golfer. More recently, I’m an award winning and produced scriptwriter living under the shade of a large oak tree in Central Florida. Four of my shorts have been produced, my dystopian horror Baby Soup won the 2013 Florida Independent Filmmakers Contest and in July 2020, I declined an offer from mainland China for my creature feature...Read more

Dead Man's Money - How Much Is it Worth?

Dead Man’s Money
“A dead man’s winning lotto ticket brings no good.”

Walt is dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.

His lifeless body is discovered by his best friend, Benny, inside a makeshift shack in the homeless camp that the two call home. Benny and Walt usually spent their days collecting aluminum cans, trying to earn enough money to keep them in cheap wine (you know, the kind with the screw-on cap). Benny could never understand why week after week Walt would throw money away on lotto tickets. After all, nobody ever wins! But, in the clutches of Walt’s cold, dead hands, Benny sees it: the winning ticket!

Will the ticket will bring Benny more luck than it brought Walt? Not likely.

If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention. You see, this particular lotto ticket seems to have a will of its own, springing from owner to owner when the time is right. It isn’t long before the same tragic, tough luck that befell Walt, sets its sights on Benny. Can Benny escape the cosmic, karmic, kismet threatening to destroy him? Will the ticket be satisfied with Benny’s death, or are there others in the path of the tornado?

Tales of luck, fortune, and chance, are the life-blood of cinema. As a witty, dark comedy that is equal parts Waking Ned Devine and It FollowsDMM is a mind-bending blend of comedy and horror, with the chipperest ending this side of Fargo. Perfect for a director with an understanding of biting, twisted humor, and a flair for the dramatic, DMM is set to be a festival favorite.

But, you have to play to win. So pick your lucky numbers and take a chance on Dead Man’s Money!

About the Reviewer: Dane Whipple is an educated fool with money on his mind. He is currently writing that screenplay everybody keeps talking about: The Wild Age. Contact him at dane.whipple (AT) live.com

The Script

Dead Man's Money

A dead man’s winning lotto ticket brings no good to anyone who touches it.

About The Reviewer

J.E. Clarke's picture
Real name: 

Known for her unique characters and plots, J.E. Clarke has optioned her feature length horror, "Containment" with Primestar Film Group (director Mike Elliott of Scorpion King 4 attached), her SF feature "Stream" with Purryburry Productions, John Noble of "Fringe" and "Lord of the Rings" attached.  Her fantasy/SF "Evergreen" (cowritten for Adam Zeulhke of Zenoscope Productions), is currently in preproduction, along with Entanglement...Read more

About The Writer

John Hunter's picture
Real name: 

Former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant and recovering golfer. More recently, I’m an award winning and produced scriptwriter living under the shade of a large oak tree in Central Florida. Four of my shorts have been produced, my dystopian horror Baby Soup won the 2013 Florida Independent Filmmakers Contest and in July 2020, I declined an offer from mainland China for my creature feature...Read more

Transition - What Exactly Does Such Music Soothe?

TRANSITION
A music loving EMT finds saving lives comes at a greater cost than he could ever have imagined.

A stretcher bangs through the entry doors, pushed by an EMT, MAC (28). He’s greeted by a nurse, BETSY (30s) and a DOCTOR who take charge of the thrashing ELDERLY PATIENT.

ELDERLY PATIENT
I must play.

The Nurse attempts to calm him.

BETSY
It’ll be okay. You’re in good hands. You can relax.

ELDERLY PATIENT
The music must be played or it will open.
Every sixth night I must play. No, no, NO!

In a bid to identify their elderly charge, kind hearted Mac returns to the old man’s apartment where he discovers a music stand and chair bolted to the floor of a near empty room.  A further search reveals mysterious sheet music and an antique violin which all proves too much temptation for classical music loving Mac…

Gingerly, he picks up the instrument as if it were a baby.

MAC
A Gagliano? No fucking way.

He tries the light switch on the wall, but nothing, no bulb. There’s a lamp taped to the music stand, he flips it on.

Holding the violin under the light, his eyes widen with amazement confirming it is indeed rare and precious. He lifts it to his ear and plucks a note smiling with satisfaction.

The room darkens.

Through his singular act of curiosity, Mac unwittingly stumbles on the old man’s secret: When music is all that stands between us and a terrible darkness…

…Then the music must be played!

With its roots in the work of H.P. Lovecraft, Chris Keaton’s Transition delivers a chilling short script with universal appeal.  At just 5 pages with minimal locations and some minor effects, this is a great horror short for a creative filmmaker wanting to take their craft to the next level.

The Script

Transition

An EMT helping out a friend finds himself with an undesirable life saving job. (An adaptation, of sorts, of a Lovecraft story)

About The Reviewer

Steve Miles's picture
Real name: 

Started writing scripts around five years ago after realising his social life was vastly overrated. Enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit - from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount of plaid and uses a calculator for the most basic of sums.Read more

About The Writer

Chris Keaton's picture
Real name: 

Chris Keaton, like many deranged people, writes screenplays and actually believes he's pretty good at it. His delusion has brought him to write at least a dozen feature films and numerous short scripts of questionable quality. Several directors have been enabling Chris Keaton's mental illness by actually producing his  screenplays traumatizing unwitting audiences around the globe. And to make things worse he's now writing novels and short stories. When will this reign of terror end? If you...Read more

Exit Strategy - Sometimes, Exit is Not An Option....

EXIT STRATEGY
First dates require courage, resourcefulness and originality -- and that's just to get out of the bathroom.

Mike Tyson once famously said: ‘Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face’. In other words, despite our best hopes and intentions, we’re all at the mercy of our body’s ability to cope with pain. And if you find yourself suddenly thrust into the grips of severe discomfort, all measure of rhyme and reason is flushed down the toilet, so-to-speak.

Such is the hilarious predicament at the heart of ‘Exit Strategy’, written by Rick Hansberry.

Meet Chase and Vicki, a pair of good-looking twenty-somethings on a first date at a restaurant. And from all appearances, it’d appear the evening has gone better than either of them expected.

(VICKI) touches (CHASE’S) hand, smiles. 

VICKI
I’m so glad this worked out.
You’ve restored my faith in the ’fix up.’

Chase cups his hand over hers, glances at his watch.

CHASE
We better get going if we’re going to make the movie.

But if you’ve been around the block a few times, you know by now that life has a rather perverse way of snatching misery from the jaws of mirth.

Chase reaches for his wallet. His face contorts. He clutches his belly, winces again. He rises, rubs his stomach.

From that point onward, it’s all downhill for Chase. He rushes to the men’s room, only to find that the stall is closed, as a janitor is cleaning out what must be a rather nauseating mess.

Desperate, but stuck, Chase seeks an alternative. Knowing that if he doesn’t find refuge soon, the janitor won’t be the only one dealing with a nauseating mishap.

Chase paces, looks around, reacts to another stomach murmur.

A Woman exits the Ladies Room. Chase checks his watch, then -- Ducks into the Ladies Room.

Unsurprisingly, things just get worse from there, as Chase tries his best to be discreet, yet is unable to experience a modicum of sweet relief, as woman after woman enters the bathroom.

To make matters worse, Vicki is now left alone at a table, wondering what happened to her date. Just when she thought it was safe to swim in the dating waters again, along comes the poop shark. Alas, she’s oblivious to Chase’s surreptitious turn to the toilet, and therefore assumes the worse. Consequently, she dumps on Chase a scathing voicemail.

VICKI (into phone)
I spoke too soon on my restored faith.
In fact, you’ve validated it. You not only bail on the rest of the night,
you stick me with the bill. Pay backs can be a bitch. Hell hath no fury...   

Vicki slams her cell shut and pushes out the door.

Rick Hansberry’s uproarious screenplay is a scatological delight. In particular, Chase’s slapstick shenanigans are reminiscent of Mike Myers and Gene Wilder in the pomp. So, if you are a filmmaker with a penchant for comedy, and are looking for witty material to hone your skills, then this is just about the perfect match.

The Script

Exit Strategy

First dates require courage, resourcefulness and originality -- and that's just to get out of the bathroom.

About The Reviewer

Jeremy Storey's picture
Real name: 

Jeremy Storey, originally hails from the United Kingdom, but now resides in Seattle, WA. He first discovered the joys of writing at school, penning short stories and collaborating on comic books with his friends. Coming from a writerly family, it was in his DNA to tell stories. However, it wasn’t until he graduated University, that he started to dabble in film and stage.

 

Since then, he’s written feature length screenplays (The Immaculate Secret, Rewind, Pink Slip Party, An...Read more

About The Writer

Rick Hansberry's picture
Real name: 

Rick Hansberry is an award-winning screenwriter with more than 20 years of industry experience. With several produced credits on his IMDb page, Rick has written, produced and directed several short films. 2017 saw the release of two feature-length films, "Alienate" and "Evil In Her." 2018 brought the release of another award-winning short film, "My Two O'Clock". In 2019, Rick wrote, produiced and directed his first web series pilot, "Clean Slate" and delivered creative and narrative material...Read more

When the Snow Melts - Winter Isn't Always a Wonderland

WHEN THE SNOW MELTS
A community wakes on Christmas morning to discover their children have vanished. 

Snow falls gracefully toward the ground on a cloudy, winter day. A SNOWMAN sits in the yard of a house, perfectly built with a carrot nose, rock eyes and mouth, and a scarf.

Before the snowman stands GRACIE (17), dressed in winter layers with a backpack on.

Gracie looks around the neighborhood. From afar sits another snowman in another yard.

She looks back at the snowman before her. Her face twists from solemn to angry.

She walks up to the snowman and PUNCHES the head off.

Christmas in Rolling Oaks; an unassuming suburbia of snow covered yards and community spirit.  But what should be a time of joy and goodwill to all is about to descend into a season of tragedy and horror.

Christmas morning, 17-year-old Gracie and her family awake to a commotion in the street.  Stepping outside, they’re greeted by the sight of frantic parents gathered in search of their children.  House by house the terror spreads—none are to be spared.  The children of Rolling Oaks are nowhere to be found.

All Gracie can do is watch from afar as a desperate community demands answers.  Days turn to weeks and as the cold reach of winter recedes, so a grisly secret is revealed in its wake…

Sean Elwood’s When The Snow Melts delivers a subtle horror underpinned with a rising sense of dread that seeps into the bones like a midwestern winter.  With its low page count, sparse dialogue and simple location, this is a fantastic project for a filmmaker looking to hone their craft.  Sure, you’ll need the conditions to pull it off; but when the snow melts, you’ll be glad you did.

The Script

When the Snow Melts

A quiet neighborhood is disturbed when the parents wake up on Christmas Day to find that their children are missing.

About The Reviewer

Steve Miles's picture
Real name: 

Started writing scripts around five years ago after realising his social life was vastly overrated. Enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit - from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount of plaid and uses a calculator for the most basic of sums.Read more

About The Writer

Sean Elwood's picture
Real name: 

Sean Elwood is a 29-year-old writer who has a knack for everything horror. He started writing short stories as a kid and soon developed a love for screenwriting at the age of 14. From then on, he continued to write both short and feature screenplays as he perfected his writing, and soon attended the Art Institute of Austin to earn a degree in Digital Filmmaking and Video Production. He has also self-published an anthology of short horror stories,...Read more

Lakeside - Nature's Not So Peaceful...

LAKESIDE
A weekend of fun becomes a fight for survival when
four teenagers find themselves at the mercy of an ancient curse.

Free from the academic grind, four high-school grads set out on a weekend of celebration at a lakeside retreat.  There’s the sensitive Darleen and her troubled beau, Ian; and their tag-along classmates, Carolyn and Moe.

It should be a destination set for youthful hi-jinks and romantic pursuit, but beyond the tranquil shore lies a dark secret. The roots of which stretch deep into the past; to a legacy of terror and tragedy that awakens every six years to fulfil its bloody rite.

As Darleen and company are soon to discover, the skeeters aren’t the only thing that’s out for blood...

Ian leads Darleen up to the front door. He steps inside, but Darleen hesitates. She turns back. Glances uneasily at the lake. Peaceful, as dusk falls upon it...

Darleen steps inside. She closes the door behind her.

Lake water laps the dock, bathed by a peaceful moon...
We quickly glide across the water to the island. Close in on the tree-studded bank...
The sound of a heartbeat...louder...louder...
A solitary tree trunk bathed in moonlight...with a gaping hole in the bark...
Blood bursts from it, streaming down in pulses like a punctured artery…
...the lakehouse, across the water. Its windows glow…The heartbeat grows louder still...

A GREAT SPLASH. The heartbeat cuts off. Dark waves surge against the island's bank.

Fortunately for them, help is at hand from old family friend and local survival enthusiast Bill.  With his faithful hound Clementine in tow, Bill rallies the teens in time to meet the threat head on.  

Brace the doors; barricade the windows; and whatever you do, keep the toilet seat down. 
For this is an evil that knows no bounds.

Rob Barkan’s Lakeside plunges its young protagonists into a tale of mystery and horror with a unique adversary.  The writing shines, teasing the reader with hints of what’s to come before opening the flood gates and letting the horror flow. 

It might not be a project for first time filmmakers, but for those with a creative vision and a love of all things horror, there’s a story here for you.

The Script

Lakeside

A teenage graduation bash at a remote lakehouse is cut short by a hideous presence that emerges from the lake every six years.

About The Reviewer

Steve Miles's picture
Real name: 

Started writing scripts around five years ago after realising his social life was vastly overrated. Enjoys writing in a variety of genres but leans toward raw, grittier characters and the worlds they inhabit - from the deadly serious to the darkly comic. Drinks coffee, owns an unhealthy amount of plaid and uses a calculator for the most basic of sums.Read more

About The Writer

Rob Barkan's picture
Real name: 

Rob has been writing horror, fantasy and science fiction since the age of seven. He has placed several short tales in small press and online magazines like Lovecraft's Weird Mysteries, Dark Planet and Strange Fire. A more extensive collection appeared on his award-winning Deathlife Gravesite. He has taken a deep plunge into screenplay writing for the past few years, totally enjoying mastering the art of visual writing. He recently scripted segments for a Hollywood director's horror anthology...Read more

Breeding Material - Who's Got the Right Stuff?

BREEDING MATERIAL
“Unable to have babies the old-fashioned way, people from the distant future travel back in time to find suitable breeding material.”

Recently, science fiction’s experienced a realism renaissance.

Gravity, Interstellar, and The Martian won praise from audiences and scientists with accurate portrayals of complicated theories. And one will note – deservedly so. But while veracity is a nice touch, films are ultimately entertainment at heart.

Sometimes, what we want is just a touch of flippancy – with the backdrop of science to dress it up.

Breeding Material is unashamedly the latter. A script which has all the classic SF tropes: the crazy, exposition-spewing scientist, time travel, and an everyday person thrust into a world beyond their wildest dreams.

Oh, and ice cream. More on that, soon enough.

Here’s the situation: Attractive young Jennifer snoozes in her apartment, when a space-time portal opens next to her bed. The portal spits out two young men in Lycra suits. Ones that head the poor girl’s way.

The duo waste no time in claiming Jennifer as a kidnapped third wheel – dragging her back through the continuum of space time.

When they enter the futuristic lab of Professor Zork, the trio quickly morphs to a quartet. And to Jennifer, this Zork guy is a grade A Perv – creepy, old and unkempt.

To make matters worse, he already knows Jennifer’s name, and asks her to provide eggs for his experiment. Not scrambled – the “Human-kind”. This is tale won’t be “over easy” soon.

Why would Zork want such things? In order to create fertile offspring for his cherished sons, Ben & Jerry.

Look at it this way: at least Zork didn’t name them Rocky Road or Mint Chip. Let’s just say that 2000 years in the future, ice cream is a melting legend of the distant past.

And there are other things we store in freezers, that might prove useful to Zork too…

Featuring witty dialogue and commentary on modern society, Breeding Material certainly reproduces entertainment well. Whether it’s via Tinder, Match.com, or STS (that’s STS, not STDs)… This script seeks an attractive directorial mate!

About The Reviewer

Hamish Porter's picture
Real name: 

That guy who does a load of STS reviews and writes when he's not working or reading superfluous interesting articles. My filmmakers Rushmore is Nolan, Kubrick, Hitchcock, and Eastwood. Psychological thrillers, crime, and dramas are my thing, but I'm impartial to anything that's written well and with heart. Surprisingly successful at helping STS writers get optioned.Read more

About The Writer

John Hunter's picture
Real name: 

Former Peace Corps volunteer, big ticket sales engineer, commercial graphic artist, packaging design consultant and recovering golfer. More recently, I’m an award winning and produced scriptwriter living under the shade of a large oak tree in Central Florida. Four of my shorts have been produced, my dystopian horror Baby Soup won the 2013 Florida Independent Filmmakers Contest and in July 2020, I declined an offer from mainland China for my creature feature...Read more

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