Find The H.A.G.

We find a dirty, ragged out of shape American man in a tattered old basketball jersey (the HAG) being beat up by some foreign jail guards in a third world prison to the tune of a rap song as they break-dance while beating him. They stop when their leaders enters and questions why the dirty man is in his prison. The man replies, sarcastically, that this place is a bit small to be considered a prison to which the leader pistol-whips him and orders the guards to toss him out of the jail and into the mud street. The leader watches then moonwalks back into the jail and slams the door behind him, leaving our hero in the mud. Cut to military style team of professional pickup artists who are interviewing a potential client interrogation-style as to why he needs their services. Ultimately, he tells them that the girl he wants to win was his high school love interest and she is about to marry a man in thirty days. He wants to them to help him convince her not to marry and give him another chance. This request is actually out of their scope but when he offers them ten million dollars to try they agree. Their mission is complicated by the fact that she has four ruthless “handlers; women who are her entourage and are charged with ensuring she gets no unwanted advances from any other man and they’ll do anything to make sure that doesn’t happen including hand-to-hand combat. After doing some pretty intense reconnaissance and planning, our team is able to distract the “handlers” and clear a way for the client to approach his love interest. When he does, she slaps his glasses off of his face and storms away from him. Our team then discovers that the client actually left her at the alter some time ago and it’s going to take a herculean effort to help the client. The decline until the client offers them 100 million dollars. The team informs him that the only way that they can help is to enlist the assistance of the world’s greatest pick-up artist (the H.A.G.) but he’s has been off the grid for some time and no one knows how to find him. The set out to do just that. Their research reveals the HAG is on a remote island in the South Pacific. They travel there in hopes to convince him to come out of retirement for this one last job. After some discussion he agrees but before they leave the island they are arrested by the prison leader and his henchmen and locked up. They find a way to break out of jail and make it back to the mainland but the HAG still has to get in “performance shape” and mentor the client to achieve his goal in getting the girl. It all culminates when our team, the HAG, and the client crash the girl’s wedding, get into a huge, all out brawl with her handlers, destroy the wedding venue and, yes, ultimately reunite the client and his love.