Synopsis/Details
All Accolades & Coverage
Official selection 2017 "Oaxaca Film Festival"
Finalist in the 2016 "Hollywood Screenplay Contest"
Finalist in the 2015 "New York Screenplay Contest"
Finalist in the 2015 "Beverly Hills Film Festival"
Qtr-Finalist 2015 "Courier Screenwriting Awards"
“Gargoyles” was under serious consideration for some time with Dreamworks Animation and has since been re-written.
Coverage from Bluecat Screenplay contest and via Stage 32 :
SCORECARD
Script Title: Gargoyles on the Case!
Writer's Name: John Heavey
Writer's Email: jwheavey@outlook.com
Scorecard 1 2 3 4 5
First Scene x
Set Up of Character(s) x
Set Up of World x
Clarity of Tone x
Originality of Concept x
Strength of Voice x
Feedback:
There is not much to tell this writer. They do a great job with the story and the characters so any notes I have below are minor ones to help them sell it but overall, this is a fun story well told in those opening pages.
So one minor note is cleaning up description. This is a thick script and you have plenty of room for page count coming in at only 90. So why not break up the description by shots. Anytime the camera moves break the description up to increase pace and tone of the read and the mental visual. For example -
A large moon silhouettes the Sky-Line. // In the street below, a stonemason closes his van and drives away. //Apartment & street lights turn on to the sound of CAR HORNS & TRAFFIC, gradually dissipating as we move up to the roofs above.
Where the // it feels like we should do paragraph breaks to move the visual and the camera. This will also slow the pace of the opening down and make the reveal more gradual. As it is now it feels like a thick read and that easing into the world may be diminished.
Writer Consider
Project Consider
