Nothing Left To Lose

Ben's story is a modern re-telling of the biblical account of Job. ACT I Scene 1: Opening Scene/Credits. Establish shots of NH rural road, Bill is seen to be the pastor of a small NH town Church. We meet Allison and see he has two small children. Give subtle hints that there is friction between them due his many absences. Leads into. Scene 2: Sunday Sermon/Marriage Counselling We get a sense of the type of person he is. Charismatic and a gifted speaker and wise counsellor. Sunday sermon hints at seeing the hidden war going on between God and the devil. As church ends he has that moment with Ellie. Cuts to his counselling session with Liv and Paul. Marriage is not a business transaction. Look at each other and say “you are not my enemy.” Ben gets lost in thought looking at his family playing outside his window. It was not always good. It won’t always be good… it’s an every day fight. The thing you have to decide is “Is this the person I want to go to war with?” Liv seems unsure. Leads into: Scene 3: Car ride with Bill (deer scene) How’s your marriage Ben? Busy-ness is taking it’s toll. Bill is a church elder but also a game warden. How does Allison feel things are going? They’ve only been there a year. They get a call for a dead deer at the side of the road. Ben is uneasy… we find out he is from Montreal and not used to NH rural living. They get there and realize the deer is still alive though it has been picked apart my coyotes. “It just stared at me… like it wasn’t scared… almost relieved that we were there. It was just looking at me… peaceful… ready to have us end the pain.” BANG!! “And just like that it was gone.” Leads into: Scene 4: Bed time Routine Ben returns from the ride with Bill. Ally is completely flustered getting the kids bathed and to bed. The phone rings and it is Stephen Somers (State Trooper) asking him to go with him to let Carl and Beverly Hicks know that their son has been killed in a car accident on I-93. All of a sudden it seems stupid that they were fighting. Leads into: Scene 5: Giving Bad News/ back home Sun is setting. Police cruiser pulls into a gravel driveway. The doors open and the state troopers boots come out and follow them up to the door. Stephen and Ben stand at the door. Carl and Bev answer, excited to see Ben. Their hearts sink when they see Stephen. They break the news to them. “What the hell am I supposed to say? They never covered this in seminary. How do you comfort someone who was happy and watching wheel of fortune one moment and you just told them their child is gone? How do you tell them that God continues to love them?” CUT TO back home. Ben and Ally have moment in the kitchen. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” She decides to take the kids to her mother’s in northern Maine for a few days. Leads into: Scene 6: Funeral/Leaving for Vacation The death of anyone is tragic… old people die, it’s expected. There is something unnatural about the young dying. There is nothing unusual about pain… Jesus said that “in this world you WILL have pain.” The rain falls on everyone… meaning that shit just happens sometimes… and just by being in this world we are subject to it. But while you’re in the middle of it you may feel like you are being targeted by God. It is in these moments, when our faith is tested, we must choose to continue to believe that God is still good… not in spite of our pain… but because of our pain.” CUT TO Ally and the kids leave after the funeral. She says her goodbyes to LIV (they seem to be friends) and to Ben. Leads into: Scene 7: The Tragedy/Identifying the Bodies Bill is sitting watching TV… relaxing after a trying week. Watching old reruns of Cheers he hears a car pull in to the driveway. He goes to the door and sees it is Stephen and Bill is with him. “There are moments where you know that something has happened that forever will mark a point in your life. Seeing them standing there… I KNEW something terrible had happened.” Bill goes with them… he seems to be in shock. CUT TO: the morgue. If there is a way to make sure that this is ALLY it will save us from having to acquire dental records and prolonging the identification.” She is burned. The car caught fire. The two children were dead as well. “She has a birthmark on her right hip.” CAMERA pulls back, Ben in the chair as Bill and Stephen comfort him. FADE TO: Scene 8: The first night alone- God withdraws Ben returns to the house. He enters and walks through the house to the kids’ room, sobs uncontrollably. Staggers to the kitchen… leans against the wall he and ALLY leaned against when she said she was going away. He slides down the wall… sobbing in the dark. Somehow he feels like God is no longer there. “why? In all the time I’ve been following you I’ve never felt like you ever left me… even in dark times. Why have you left me now? I am utterly alone. I could always feel Him there… until now. Scene 9: What Now?- Back to Montreal Ben leaves the house and goes to his office. A few days have gone by and the funeral is this morning. Ben sits in his office. He is visited by Liv. “What will you do?” I can’t think about anything right now… i’m stepping down, going back to my family’s place in Montreal. Maybe stay with my brother for a bit while I think things through. “This was not your fault.” I know. “this was not God’s doing either.” How do you know? We were born into a war between God and the devil… of course there will be casualties. I don’t blame God. I just don’t know what to do. I’m driving in a fog. Scene 10: The Funeral- he snaps and is never the same. The sanctuary is packed with people. they have been offering condolences in the foyer. Oh My God is playing. Ben walks to the front. we focus on his feet as he walks. Camera lags behind as it comes up behind him and goes overhead to reveal three caskets. One larger and two smaller ones. This breaks Ben. We see his facial expression go blank… something has snapped in his brain. He is unable to comprehend what he is seeing. He falls to his knees as the music crescendos. People rush to his side, sitting with him, praying with him, holding him. HARD CUT TO: Scene 11: Leaving in the night Ben is sitting in his living room. It is quiet and dark and he sits expressionless. He gets up and goes to the kitchen and turns the lights on. He sees the high chair where Benji used to eat. He shuts the light off and walks down the hall in the dark. He passes by Ellie’s room. FLASHBACK TO Ellie and Ben watching TV and she does that thing where she holds his head between her hands and she walks off to bed. He walks to his room. He takes Ally’s night gown off the chair and holds it up to his face. Shutting the light off he lays on the bed with it. We see flashes of what he thinks the accident must have been like. He drops the nightgown, obviously distressed yet expressionless he gets up and walks down the hall, out the front door and desk’t look back. He gets in his car and drives off into the darkness. Fade out. ACT II Scene 12: Passing the Whale Tails FLASHBACK SCENE of ALLY and BEN. Ben has been struggling with feeling close to God… He plans on going to Montreal and hang out with old friends from college. She doesn’t want him to go because all they ever did was drink and do drugs. But if this is what you need to do… get it out of your system. She was always the more spiritually connected and unquestioningly loyal to God. BEN goes and on the way feels God’s presence leave him… he speaks with God. He realizes what attracted him to God to begin with… why would he go back to that emptiness. At that moment he passes by the whales tails… speech about monuments. CUT BACK TO today and he passes the Tails and just passes them by. Scene 13: Moving in With Marcus BEN crosses over the border into Canada and pulls into the driveway of his friend Marcus. Wife and two kids. Marcus is who lead Ben to God. He is Ben’s north star. We get some good exposition here about the nature of God and good and evil. Marcus’ wife Leanne feels like Ben will resent them because he lost everything and they have everything. Marcus talks about the bible and how we’ve elevated it to something it wasn’t meant to be. It’s a collection of stories… about God and man and how man is destined to pain. “Im going to meet my friend Rob tonight but I’m going to see my dad first.” Scene leads into visiting Dad. Scene 14: Visiting Dad at the Nursing Home Ben’s dad is not well. He is near the end of his life and suffering from a cognitive disability. Stroke maybe. “Ally and the kids are gone dad. There was an accident. I don’t know if you’re still in there” Ben is crying. His dad can still write on a note pad. with shaking hands he manages to write “I’m still here. I love you. I’m so sorry.” He pats the bed for Ben to come sit beside him. He leans in to his dad and lays his head on his lap…like a sick child who wants to feel better just by being close to their parent. Scene 15: Job’s Comforter- Curse God and Die. Have some drugs Ben meets Rob at a restaurant downtown Montreal. It’s clear that he and Rob have a sketchy past. Their drug days seem to be in Ben’s past but Rob is still connected. “You know I never cared for this whole ‘come to Jesus’ stuff that you got into. But hey it’s your life right? But at what point are you going to wake up and see that this is all bullshit? Look at what ‘faith in God’ has brought you? Where is God in all this? How can someone devote their entire lives to worshipping a God that is seemingly so distant and unwilling to show himself. What makes God so reclusive? Like Big foot? Why so secretive and rarely seen? Why would he allow such suffering just to prove a point to the devil? Isn’t that cruel? Ben is lost and hurting. They do a lot of drugs for old time’s sake. Leads into: Scene 16: Entering the Club- My name is Amie Fire Woman is playing as Rob and Ben enter the club. It’s loud. Girls are dancing on platforms. Ben is in a drug induced fog. This is Rob’s club. He introduces Ben to Amie, who is obviously a hooker or escort of some kind. Ben doesn’t know how to act with her. She seems shy… like she doesn’t really want to be there either. Want go for a walk? How much? Rob ‘buys’ her for the night for Ben. He hands them a hotel room key. They walk out into the downtown night life. V.O. Rob. It’s like he isn’t even here. My friend has become a ghost.” Scene 17: The Hotel- I don’t want sex, just stay here Ben and Amie are in the hotel room. Even in his drunken state Ben doesn’t want to sleep with her. He just wants company. He tells her about everything that’s happened as he lays in the bed with her. He thinks it’s Ally. He talks to her like she is. He sees her as Ally. V.O. Amie: “ Countless times guys pay me to become someone else to fulfill some sort of fantasy… in a way this was the same… but this was the first time I remember feeling like I WAS someone else to them. And I felt sorry for him.” Scene 18: The Pimp and The Hooker Amie meets up with her pimp and he pays her. He is a dick and abusive. She doesn’t want to see him again… it was weird and heartbreaking. He tells her that Rob has basically her on retainer to be with Ben whenever he wants. She disagrees… he gets rough with her and she relents. The physical stuff she can block out… but this was emotional. CUT TO: Scene 19: Dad is Gone Ben walks in to the house still wearing the same clothes. Marcus asks why he never responded to his texts and calls. Ben’s dad has died. Ben doesn’t have a reaction. He goes to the nursing home and collects his things, which aren’t many. Fades in to another funeral. There are no friends, no family other than Ben. Marcus and his family are there. V.O. Ben: I guess this is how it should be, a son burying a parent… not a parent burying a child… children. Wife.” It feels like a plane going down… pieces breaking off one by one.” Scene 20: Dreams of Angels and Demons DREAM SEQUENCE. Ally’s voice:“Wake up baby.” Ben wakes from sleep in a dream. He walks outside and sees what resembles “Jacob’s Ladder. There are angels and demons swirling around, going up into the sky into heaven and back down. They are fighting. The demons attack the people walking around (unnoticed by the people) and the angels try to protect the people, pulling them off the people. He sees what he believes to be Ally and walks towards her as she is being attacked by a demon. He pulls her shoulder to turn her around and it is Amie. He wakes startled. Scene 21: 2nd Date Amie has messaged Ben. They agree to meet for lunch. He tells her that he has to go to his parents’ old house. It is now his and he has to sign papers or something. How does that make you feel? I feel nothing. Amie shares her story. How did she end up in this position? A fight with her parents turned into her leaving home and living on the streets, getting into drugs. She starting escorting as a way to make money and now she can’t get out of it. She is stuck. “Funny thing is that I can’t remember what exactly we had fought about. But I can’t go back now.” This is my life now… for better or worse…” “Ditto.” CUT TO: Scene 22: This House- A memory in every corner This House by Sara Groves plays. Ben is overwhelmed by the memories. There are memories in every corner. The joy of Christmas in the living room, playing in his room, dinners at the table. Tears stream down his face as he sits on the floor he used to play on… memories swirling around him. Amie goes and sits with him holding him. “Life is a heartache and then you die.” FADES INTO NEXT SCENE AT HOTEL ROOM Scene 23: Is this the life you thought you’d have?- Amie and God. They are back at the hotel room. Ben tells Amie he was a pastor. She seems to be falling for him. What did you picture your life being like when you were young? They talk about memories as kids. They both had loving family lives. I’m not sure where it all got derailed. Ben’s mom died when he was young… like 10. His dad raised him. He wanted to be like his dad. They were older when they had him. Amie wanted a husband and family… the dream. But she was bound to the pimp now. He owned her and there was no way to get out. She had lost hope. Ben assures her that there is always hope. I maintain that God is good, despite our condition. She looks at him with admiration. She falls asleep on his lap. Scene 24: The house is Gone It’s the next morning, Ben pulls down the street that his house is on. There are fire trucks and police everywhere. The house has completely burned to the ground. All the photo albums, memories are all gone. What happened? Looks like a gas leak… something set it off and it was gone in a flash. Ben is distraught… again. Again and again… what are you doing to me God? It’s like you’re taking everything form me… on purpose. What else can you take from me? ACT III Scene 25: Marcus confronts Ben, Liv visits- you aren’t the only one who lost something A few days later. “Where have you been? You know I thought how fortunate we were that you weren’t with them when they died cuz we’d have lost you too. I’m starting to see that you may as well have been with them… cuz you died that night too… your body is just lingering here.” LIV has come to see him. “You act like you were the only one that lost something that day. It was bad enough I lost my closest friend but now I’ve lost you too.” Ben realizes that if God is going to keep taking everything from him then the safest thing for everyone is if he just disappears. LIV goes to leave. “Paul and I decided to not get married.” And she leaves. Scene 26: The bank/ insurance check for the house Ben leaves his friend’s house. Looks at them as he says goodbye in his heart. Pulls into the bank and cashes the insurance check. You want it all cash? I’m going on a trip. Enjoy! I can’t wait to hear all about it… “I won’t be back.” Scene 27: The Proposition- Deer scene revisited Ben confronts Rob at his club. Who is the pimp? He leaves to find him. He confronts the pimp in an alley by the docks of the St Lawrence. He tells him he wants to pay for Amie. “She’s not for sale.” Everyone has a price. It gets violent. He slams $200 000 in his hand and pulls the pimp’s gun towards his head until it is pressing against his forehead. “He just stared at me… like he wasn’t scared… almost relieved that I was there… just looking at me… peaceful… ready to have me end his pain.” He doesn’t do it. Scene 28: The Bridge. God is here… what do you want to talk about? The culmination. The rain pours. Ben walks up onto a bridge closed for repair and stares at the water below. Quietly we see a figure approaching as Ben slumps down back to the railing of the bridge. Ben looks up at him. Who are you? You know who I am. I know i’m dreaming again. Why? You don’t show up to people like this anymore. I’m glad you are here to tell me what I can and cannot do. I know you CAN… but I just questioned IF you would. Why are you doing this to me? Trying to prove a point to the devil? What did you think you were signing up for when you started following me? An easy life? They converse for a while. You can give up… no one would blame you. You could jump and be reunited with your family… But do you believe? Of course… Do you believe that I can still give you good things? “Live or die.. I believe you are good.” God smiles. Then you have chosen well. God walks away. He gets blurry and a light shines in the rain and darkness. Ben shields his eyes from it. The rain stops. We see two little hands grip his face. Abby is there all in white. She doesn’t speak… but takes his rough beaten face and smiles at him like she always had. He is in shock. He reaches out and puts his hand on her head. A couple of beats go by and she disappears. He looks around like he’s finally thinking clear. He gets up and climbs onto the railing of the bridge. He stares at the water. He is calm… at peace. Will he or won’t he? Scene fades out to black. Scene 29: Giving Bad news? Same scene as beginning. Morphs into end scene… new mercies, new beginnings, Amie too. Fall Asleep by Jars of Clay plays. We see the police cruiser pull into the driveway as it did at the beginning. We see the same boots exit the car and walk up to the porch. We see LIV walk out onto the porch. We aren’t sure if he is there to tell her Ben is gone. She looks at Stephen and he turns to the cruiser. The door opens and Ben exits. He looks weathered and beaten down. LIV stands there with her hand over her mouth overcome with emotion as he approaches the porch. He melts into her arms like a soldier who has finally come home. Fade out V.O. Ben talks about the meaning of life and suffering, forgiveness and reconciliation, intercut with images of Amie returning home to her parents. He talks about being part of a plan that only God knows… and we are pieces that are moved to accomplish things we may never have chosen. But there is still goodness to be had. Images of LIV pregnant in a summer dress at a church picnic with Ben. Leading to final images of BEN speaking to the congregation from the podium. I have come to realize three things: First, It has been my experience that in this world we WILL have pain. Second, the rain falls on everyone. and lastly… should we not accept the bad as well as the good from Him? Scene 30: Ending Credits