Synopsis/Details
At age 55, Parker Potts is a boring rube whose wife has abandoned him for someone
with a pulse. He decides to become a changed man by enrolling in Maryland State University.
Parker befriends Chang, his Chinese roommate who is a fish out of water in a new country.
Both are lost and vulnerable males seeking female companionship.
Parker falls for his French teacher, Rene Lille, and earns the enmity of his arrogant
history Professor Fleer. Professors Lille and Fleer are dating, so Parker seeks to nip their
romance in the bud. Since Lille expresses interest in heroic classics, Parker seeks to oblige her.
He convinces Chang to help him courageously kidnap Navy’s mascot before the big football
game. He also requests academic assistance from Lille after class. They become friends with
the potential for romance. Meanwhile, Chang dates a variety of co-eds, but succeeds only in
getting dumped by them all.
Professor Fleer and Parker square off in the classroom, sparring over events that Parker
has actually experienced. Lille has conflicts of her own as a single mom who battles with her
sullen teenage daughter. One night, Parker intervenes in an attempted sexual assault—the girl
gets away but he is rewarded with a good beating. Parker’s road to romance is stalled; he
considers dropping out of college.
The stakes are raised when Professor Fleer challenges Parker to a bet-- Parker wins his
antique lighter. Parker also has evidence that Fleer is cheating on Lille. Fleer retaliates by
threatening Parker with expulsion, based upon flimsy evidence— unless Parker surrenders the
incriminating photos. Meantime, Lille witnesses Parker publically “assaulting” Chang in a hairbrained attempt to impress Chang’s latest girlfriend. Lille breaks off her relationship with Parker-- he appears doomed.
Professor Fleer drives Lille and her daughter towards Gettysburg, stopping for lunch
near Parker’s farm. Parker and Chang drop by the restaurant—too bad Fleer is in the rest
room. Lille’s daughter recognizes Parker as her rescuer from the attempted sexual assault.
Lille recognizes Parker’s antique lighter as her special gift to Professor Fleer. Chang clears up
Parker’s fake “assault” on him. All is forgiven, and the four of them drive away to Parker’s farm.
Fleer quickly hunts them down, but finds more than he bargained for. Pumpkins,
bee hives, and out-houses conspire against him as his life dissolves into .… manure.
Parker and Lille travel to Paris where they can study romance up close and personal.
