That Girl Ain't Right

‘That Girl Ain't Right’ is a slice-of-life drama about a woman who has switched jobs and changed cities. With the story seemingly beginning during a new chapter in this woman's life, we can fortunately watch all of the traumatic events happen in real time! This woman, is Susan Rosebrook. At Susan's new job, everyone calls her Susie, Sally, or Sarah. Why? Because Susan is a forgettable woman, that's why. Susan is quite simply, "a normal person" - despite that, Susan seemingly cannot live a normal life, and that is what makes her unique. Four weeks into her new job and only two people at the office know her secret identity (real name). The first being a fellow named Charley. He's a cool dude, you should get a beer with him sometime. Charley and Susan are work friends. The second man who knows Susan's first name, as well as her last name, and social security number, is a guy named Jeff. Jeffrey looks normal... then he opens his mouth, and you realize why Susan has been avoiding him for weeks. Everyone should hate Jeff. So much so that the words, "Jeff sucks." is an actual non-dialogue quote from the screenplay. It can be found on page 6. After work, Susan comes home to her apartment. Susan is a neat-freak... her new roommate is not. So, imagine this neat-freak's reaction when she opens the door to a PIG'S STY. The kitchen and living room are so messy that a 12-year-old boy would look at it and say - "Hey. You gotta clean that up." To prevent herself from having two consecutive heart attacks, Susan goes to her clean bedroom and listens to the most romantic voice message ever from a man named Johnathan. Susan is now happy. Susan meets a few other co-workers and has a tender moment with them. She also learns of an office party coming up this weekend. Susan then dodges Jeff two more times, once at lunch and another time at work. In the second instance, Charley comes to the rescue and removes Jeff from Susan's vicinity. She realizes that she may have feelings for Charley. But what about that Johnathan guy? While Susan is busy being off-screen for a while, we meet another woman, named Francesca. This lady could shoulder a grown man if she wanted. Francesca goes to a restaurant. The atmosphere is... somber, almost as if metaphors and symbolism are in the air. Yes, it's vague, but the seeds of Francesca's storyline are planted in this scene. Susan is now back on screen again, do not worry. She listens to another lovely voice message from that amazing Johnathan guy. It sounds as if Johnathan and Susan are in a long-term relationship. How nice! Then, the front door opens, and standing in the doorway is FRANCESCA. Susan and Francesca are now BOTH on screen! Excellent! They exchange fake pleasantries and talk for 6.2 seconds. Their lovely conversation is abruptly ended when Francesca tells Susan - "You really gotta clean up around here." Susan, the neat-freak, is immediately offended that a woman raised by pigs has just told her to clean up a mess that wasn't hers. This escalates an argument, followed by full-blown yelling. But wait, there’s more! Francesca barges into Susan’s bedroom, throwing things around and making a mess. Francesca’s rampage is halted by the sound of Susan begging her to stop and the sound of glass shattering. On the floor, a now broken photo of Susan hugging a man in doctor’s attire, a man we can presume to be Johnathan. If Jonathan hasn’t been seen in person at this point, then it is safe to assume that he is no longer around. Susan, is a widow. Francesca, the big mean lady, apologies and exits the apartment. Reminded by the photo that she has broken, Francesca goes to her doctor’s appointment. As she waits to see the doctor, more symbolism and metaphors suffocate Francesca. She can’t breathe. As she updates her medical information for the doctor, we learn that Francesca used to be married and is divorced. Much like Susan… she has nobody else. Susan prepares for the office party. As Susan does so, she has a lovely conversation with Charley. Charley makes Susan smile. Now at the party, Susan hangs out with Charley and gets drunk, fast, hoping to forget these past few days. Unfortunately for her, Jeff shows up. To absolutely no surprise, Jeff walks up to Susan so that he may sniff her hair and feet. Susan has had ENOUGH. She and Jeff exchange words and Jeff keeps telling Susan that she “should” date him and that he “deserves” her affection. Susan TELLS HIM OFF. However, the more Jeff talks the more he loses his cool. Susan attempts to leave, BUT, Jeff GRABS Susan by the arm and sounds as if he’s about to make a threat to the young lady. Charley, being the quick thinker he is, tells everyone at the party that today is Jeff’s birthday. People then surround Jeff and sing him the birthday song, with WITNESSES surrounding Jeff, he lets go of Susan and escapes. Susan gives Jeff a death stare and he realizes this girl is not one to mess with. Jeff leaves. Susan has won. As Susan mentally transitions back into a partygoer she hugs Jeff and thanks him for the help. He says that Susan mostly handled that herself and then says “Hey. We all want someone to watch our backs, right?”. Upon hearing these words, Susan has an epiphany. She has now realized the theme of the story! To celebrate, she and Charley resume drinking. Charley is such a cool guy; you should REALLY get a beer with him sometime. As the night continues, Susan goes from buzzed to shit-faced-drunk. Realizing she’s probably deserved a night to let loose, Charley lets Susan drink most of the alcohol he’s brought. Midnight rolls around and Susan decides it’s time for her to drive home. Charley offers to drive her home because she’d probably drive into a light pole in record time. Charley and Susan reach her apartment. They open the door to a surprise. The apartment is clean! Charley lays Susan down on the couch so that she can sleep. But… Charley doesn’t leave. Instead, he scouts the apartment. Weird. Susan tells him he should leave. He declines. Charley sits next to Susan on the couch. Susan is very very drunk. The apartment is empty. Then Charley attempts to freestyle-rap with Susan, except there's an extra 'e' after the word 'rap'. Read that sentence again if necessary. Needless to say... you should not get a beer with Charley sometime. However, before Charley can impress us with his premediated lyrical skills, FRANCESCA comes home! Charley is trying his absolute hardest to not to let Francesca know he is a popular rapper. He covers up Susan, who is barely awake at this point. Francesca enters her bedroom and Charley decides to split before the police show up - they're big fans of his work. As Charley inches closer and closer to the exit, something goes wrong for him. Francesca turns on the lights! She spots Charley attempting to leave and Susan knocked out on the couch. And Charley spots Francesca... full body... in police attire... Francesca is an actual fucking cop. Aware that something is wrong, Francesca asks Susan to raise her hand if Charley is secretly a rapper. Susan RAISES her hand. Unfortunately for Charley. Francesca hates rap music. Francesca tackles Charley and they get into a physical altercation. The 11th Hour Officer emerges victorious. Francesca handcuffs Charley and takes Susan to her bedroom so that she can finally rest. The two ladies exchange some pleasant words, and in that moment, a bond is formed. Francesca returns to the matter at hand and becomes Officer Broussard. She removes Charley from the apartment and then sings to him one of her favorite songs of all time – A little tune called ‘The Miranda Rights’. The final scene. Susan and Francesca sit on the couch under a large blanket, watching TV, with their pajamas on and hair let down. Not a single word is said in this scene, because every word has already been spoken. More symbolism and metaphors bubble onto the screen, except this time, they’re for Susan. Susan is eating from a bag of chips, and once she’s finished… she tosses it onto the ground. For the first time, the neat-freak has created a mess. Albeit a small one, but her first one. Susan doesn’t seem to care, but Francesca, the former queen of the Pig’s Sty, does care. Francesca goes off-screen while Susan remains focused on the Television. When suddenly. The crumpled-up bag of chips lands on Susan’s lap. In front of Susan, is Francesca with a trash basket in hand. Susan looks up to her friend, grabs the bag, and does what she always does. Susan will be fine. She knows this.