The Girl, The Ogre & The Boy Dressed As Hitler by Patrick McConnell | Script Revolution

The Girl, The Ogre & The Boy Dressed As Hitler

Gabriel is a mercenary and a permanently hallucinating walking disaster. He's taken a job, messed it up and now he's on the run with a girl, an ogre and a boy dressed as Hitler.



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At the beginning of the film we meet Gabriel, a dishevelled-looking middle-aged man, at the funeral of a friend. At the funeral, Gabriel and a group of his old friends from his days in the armed forces, hallucinate a troll pissing into the grave of their dead ex-soldier friend. Gabriel and his friends are nearly permanently hallucinating and the only way they can stop their hallucinations is by focussing on the words and music to one of their favourite pop tunes. Each member has their own signature tune. We don't know what has caused them to all be afflicted by these hallucintions.

Gabriel is tired and utterly fed up of his life - fed up of beating people up for small-time criminals. He wants one last well-paid job so that he can retire to the sun and leave some money for his estranged wife and kid. So, he goes to the shady firm known only as "Roly Crapper's School of Taxidermy", led by a little old lady, (Pat) with the personality of a bulldog. Pat offers Gabriel a job nobody else wants to take. That is, to cut off a criminal's head, (Marc), to retrieve a pink stuffed pony toy, and return both to the agency. Pat warns Gabriel not to make a mess; that he must only kill Marc and no one else.

Gabriel heads to Marc's office block armed to the teeth. Meanwhile, Marc is in his office explaining to a 15 year old girl (May), why he is going to have to kill her, for lying about her age and being in one of his adult movies.

It is then that Gabriel storms the building, guns blazing, dancing away to Aha's "Take On Me", to get rid of the hallucinations that constantly plague him. He takes out nearly everyone in the building on his way to Marc's office and arrives in the nick of time, before Marc can kill May. He successfully takes the pink stuffed pony from the safe, however, before Gabriel can finish cutting off Marc's head, he falls unconscious as he's lost a lot of blood, having been shot several times on his way up.

He wakes up in May's apartment, to find that she has patched him up and cut Marc's head off for him, as she heard Gabriel say "it's worth a lot of money". With May in tow, Gabriel takes the severed head and pink pony to "Roly Crapper's" where he is told he's now got a contract on his head and he'll have to move away. When Gabriel asks "why?", Pat duly informs him that that is exactly what she said she would do, if he shot the place to shit.

May is now no longer safe either, as she was the one who allowed Gabriel to escape.

So Gabriel has to run, dealing with a screaming banshee, an ogre who wants to stick a seagull up his arse, a small racist boy dressed as Hitler, some very real armed assassins and a very real, irritating teenage girl.

During this violent and psychedelic road trip, we learn the real reason behind why Gabriel is tormented by the girl, the ogre, and the boy dressed as Hitler.

Submitted: February 20, 2020
Last Updated: January 23, 2022

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Patrick McConnell's picture

The Writer: Patrick McConnell

Born and raised in Staffordshire UK, I trained at Birmingham School of Speech and Drama and I've worked Nationally in theatre and film. My first full length stage play to be produced was "A Story for when we're Grandads", which went on a National tour of the UK and played at the Buxton Festival Fringe, where the show was nominated for Best Production and went on to win me a Best New Writing award. I have since written a number of stage plays and short films, and three screenplays. My debut screenplay, How Not to work and Claim Benefits, was produced and released in 2017. It is currently out on various V-o-D platforms, including Amazon Prime. My second screenplay , Happy Little Bunnies was... Go to bio
Agency: Rotten Park Road Management
Agent: Lynne Payne