The Motorman

******* BREFNI O'ROURKE has studied filmmaking at the Academy of Art College San Francisco and is the author of more than 25 feature length screenplays. He currently lives in New York City where he is continuing his studies at SUNY Empire State College. At the present time, he is actively marketing all of his materials for possible sale or option. ********************************************************* *********** SYNOPSIS Toby Carradine never wanted to be a hero. He never wanted publicity. And now, he just wants custody of his kids, but it seems, being the "Subway Savior" (as the Post once dubbed him after a daring act of heroism), is a lot harder than it looks. In a city known for it's heartlessness, not to mention one haunted by daily tales of crime, terror threats, and mayhem, at the hands of the notorious "Subway Slayer", Toby once gave people hope with just one selfless act. But you can't pay the bills with a pat on the back and a key to the city. And deep down, something feels decidedly off to this humble man of the people as he descends a subway stairwell in lower Manhattan one fateful night. Little does he know, his good will toward man is about to be tested. On his way to an important custody hearing, he boards a Brooklyn bound train with a new found urgency and a cautious optimism. But when the train stops in a tunnel for an alarmingly protracted period of time, experiencing yet another one of those "unavoidable delays", his plans are clearly off track once again. And for the increasingly desperate passengers of train car 8958, (among them, a fussy artist, a loud mouth construction worker, and the worrisome son of an MTA big wig), all with some important appointment to keep, the waiting, is indeed the hardest part... for now. When this cross section of stereotypical "Noo Yawkers" stop bickering amongst themselves long enough to start looking for answers, they find a murdered MTA conductor, and a mysterious homeless man who dispatches a cryptic warning along with his alarmingly accurate wisdom: The Motorman's coming. And he's coming to judge them. For all of their sins. In this life, and in ones long since passed by. The one-hundredth anniversary of the worst subway disaster in history is approaching, a dark otherworldly force has been disturbed, and old ghosts are rudely reawakened, as the menacing embodiment of subterranean evil has been unleashed to avenge the considerable misdeeds of the past. As the bodies pile up, the tormented travelers battle a legion of seemingly possessed "Mole People", a nefarious Homeland Security Agent, and a possible bio weapon outbreak. It seems as if a misguided, ill timed terror drill has gone horribly real world with startling psychological consequences for all exposed. It's the express train ride from insult to injury as they find themselves possible guinea pigs in a New York minute. Facing a deadly drive toward destiny, they must avoid the wrath of the mysterious Motorman, who wields his deadly rail spike hammer with relentless abandon. As the embattled "train-that-could" finally takes off and reaches dangerous, out of control speeds, it seems the only appointment these harried commuters are set to keep is one with fate. It's up to Toby, the reluctant hero in their midst, to take the controls, assume his rightful destiny, and stop history from repeating itself like a hellish echo, along the way thwarting the wraith-like avenger from collecting the last of the souls he needs. Stand clear of the closing doors. The last stop... could be your next. The Motorman. Hell is going nowhere fast ************The REVIEWS are in on THE MOTORMAN************ "Quality of Writing: very good. The subject matter is engaging... pretty much gets to the action soon after it begins... some finely carved characters... I think the plot was interesting and you worked it out quite well, between the present and revealing bits and pieces of the past when necessary... a very solid script. I like the way everyone on the train is supposed to be somewhere else. They all have this thing they're desperately trying to get to, i.e., courthouse for child custody, art show, business meeting, etc. Gives added depth to the characters. They're not just filler. They all have a purpose. Overall, I think you've got a fine script here and I sincerely hope it finds its place in Hollywood in the near future." "I'm a horror fan, and The Motorman did not disappoint! The script more than fulfills horror prerequisites while, at the same time, putting a new spin on the 'masked killer' subgenre. There were so many aspects of this script which worked well for me: The setting claustrophobic, believable - I like that its in NY - I'm British but I felt familiar and comfortable in the environment. The mythology - it's an interesting device, the african spiritual altar, and you keep the theme nice and consistent throughout the story. The characters - I've got a few things to say aout the characters but when they work, they really work - Toby was very well-drawn and made a great hero... you know your horror movie staples! By the way, great ending - I like that the motorman himself is a 'monster' who can change identity, and you skillfully weave together your various plot strands. Such importance is put on discovering the identity of the killer in slasher movies that, in this instance, it was refreshing to see a different take on that. The story kind of reminded me of a mix of Candyman and Mimic. It was taut and exciting and actually quite intriguing in terms of the heritage you draw from in creating the world of the NY underground... good job". "A lean, straight-to-the-point horror thriller with some solid military action thrown into the 3rd act for a nice change-up. Vivid descriptions, well-paced, albeit follows the traditional conventions of the genre quite faithfully,... some good twists... Solid, matter-of-fact dialogue... Great opening imagery, contrasting the backstory with modern day NYC... Great to see a spectre in a horror film have complex, conflicting emotions... This is a fast tight script... Pretty poignant and honest for a horror film... Kudos. Enjoyed it!" "...great story man, created a lot of intrigue and I wanted to keep on reading to find out what happened... I like the history settings... kind of a unique story that way... Gets pretty visicous too... I write death scenes as well but yours were kinda cool, sudden ones were good, nice timing. I like that concept of past lives and an historic event all tied in. The action was good, stuck on a carriage, people dying all around. The motorman is an evil one, Quite like the concept of him. Your pacing was good... a good mix of characters... kept me reading." "Overall, you have a very fast paced, energetic story that has a lot of potential." *********************************************************