The Puzzle Maker

*********READ the novel, now available on Amazon Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CBLS4SM6 ********** In 18th Century Germany, brothers Edvard and Tristan Von Donnikan, a genius puzzle maker and artist, hone their craft at Castle Orloff under the patronage of Count Nikolai. One night the Count catches Tristan in the throes of passion with his wife, Countess Tatiana. Tristan is immediately sent to the gallows, devastating Edvard. In order to seek revenge, Edvard immerses himself in the occult, turning his puzzles into instruments of black magic divination. In the present day, Paul Quimby and his partner Kelvin infiltrate a high-ranking cyber security expert’s office in hopes of disrupting a ransomware attack on the German government. Their job is a success, but it causes Paul to miss out on his daughter Molly’s spelling bee, which she loses on the last word in heartbreaking fashion. Paul wants to reach his daughter Molly before it’s too late. A respected NSA analyst, he can decipher encrypted intercepts, but not his autistic 10-year-old. Paul is never around due to his demanding job, and now, with the Reichstag Ransomware attack putting the world on high alert, his wife Gwen fears his hours will become even more hectic. While overseas, Paul peruses paintings on display at a street vendor’s table. He’s immediately drawn to an impressionistic portrait of none other than Russian Count Nicolai, Countess Tatiana, and their daughter Olivia, who bears a striking resemblance to Molly. But it’s not just a rare painting, it’s a jigsaw puzzle, one of the first of its kind, and one with a dark history. It seems the subjects of the puzzle portrait met a horrifyingly tragic end at the hands of the Count who went mad one day, haunted by a mysterious entity. Created by Edvard Von Donnikan, as part of a black magic ritual, the puzzle is believed to be his last, and most complex work, with some 662 pieces, minus the four corner pieces kept in a separate case and delivered to Paul at the last minute by a courier who meets a grisly fate. Despite the odd seemingly random occurrence, and the dark history of the Count, Paul sees this as the perfect gift to Molly, to lift her spirits. But when he presents it to her, it becomes clear this is no ordinary puzzle. Molly becomes obsessed with it, and strange events begin to plague them. Molly seems to become another child altogether, even spontaneously speaking in German. Eerie whispers are heard. Strange visitors begin showing up in the middle of the night, setting off the security system. Molly begins having horrifying visions of mad Count Nikolai chasing her. But worst of all, the dark figure of the Puzzle Maker, Edvard Von Donnikan, is summoned, and lurks the hallways of their home, wielding a handheld jigsaw, and growing stronger each night with each piece of the puzzle that Molly sets into place. When otherworldly voices turn up on Paul’s signals intelligence monitoring, implicating him as a possible mole, his life is turned upside down. And when Molly has a seizure and is hospitalized, the Doctors hear only her fevered pleas for help from an abusive father. Adding to the chaos, Paul’s mentor and Gwen's ex, Roger Blakely shows up unexpectedly and begins spending time with his family while he’s otherwise occupied. After being interrogated by his NSA bosses, Paul returns home with one mission: Destroy the puzzle and break its decidedly macabre hold on his family. But before he can, Dodard, a mysterious ex-NSA operative shows up and warns him that the puzzle has become linked to his comatose daughter and that separating the pieces will leave her in limbo between our world, and the dark “puzzleverse” inhabited by Von Donnikan, forever. Dodard tells Paul, he must complete the puzzle, and return it to where it was created to destroy it-- Castle Orloff, Germany. But, when the NSA links Dodard to the ransomware attack, authorities are on their trail, forcing them to flee the scene without the puzzle. A fugitive now, Paul must return to Germany, infiltrate a cybersecurity summit being held at the castle, and steal the puzzle back from his adversary, the real mole, who has been manipulating things from the start and is secretly in league with Von Donnikan’s dark entity. Copyright 2022 by Brefni O'Rourke. All rights reserved. *******************************The REVIEWS are in on The PUZZLE MAKER************************************************* “I love this whole concept you have crafted here. I love how it starts with this gothic horror intro and we go into a contemporary cybersecurity thriller. The whole thing reads like Insidious meets Mr. Robot. I was surprised I finished it in one sitting because I thought my attention span would be challenged with a 2 hour script. Paul was a very likable character, he is easy to empathize with and root for. I was actually worried about what was going to happen to him once he started to get set up. The dialogue reads like natural conversations and your action lines are direct yet visually stimulating. I do IT and at first I thought it was going to be not that well thought out, but the actual details of the case/Paul's job is logical and realistic. There was not too much technobabble that would confuse people. You got to the point and it felt like a real conference room. I liked how you handled Gwen a lot, she didn't feel like a weak character at all. A wife and a mother in these types of films usually are just side characters, but despite not being privy to the supernatural and the technological, Gwen is a strong character in each of her scenes. The horror elements are written extremely well. No junk, just what is needed to tell the story. The use of the home security system/notifications was well done, those notifications about someone being at the front door were terrifying. The climax was visually striking, and I love the intersection of the occult and virtual reality. I liked how it was brought back to the castle and felt full circle to the prologue. Molly was well written, being on the spectrum did not feel gimmicky. The script is professionally done, but most importantly, it isn't boring. Thank you for the chance to read this. I can't wait to see it one day in theaters or streaming and go, "Hey, I got to read that."” *********** “I am immediately hooked. The first page is excellently written and entertaining. I love the character descriptions. The description of Edvard is visceral and interesting. I can see him clearly in my head. I enjoyed the lightning throughout when referencing the puzzle maker. It is a cool motif that would look visually impressive on screen. The transitions between scenes are really creative and well written. I really like the transition on page 23 between the courier's body and the plane. It inspires a sense of doom that is really well done. The NSA scene on page 27 feels quite realistic. The way everyone talks feels like it would actually take place in the top-secret government agency and I also feel the pressure that is clearly on them from the protestors outside. I like the scene on page 43 with the radio transmission. It is really interesting and creepy. The characters are well-connected. Von Donnikan and Paul both have lives that revolve around puzzles and it comes across really well in the script. I love how the puzzle is like a character itself. The faces of Olivia and the Countess changing based on what is happening in the story is really cool and it helps connect the past to the present. The scene on page 63 that connects Molly's health to the puzzle is really cool and I think it would play out really incredibly on the big screen. Page 75 is really well-written. It is scary and I think the lack of dialogue in this scene emphasizes the emotions and really strengthens the scene as a whole. I can imagine it being truly scary and gory which is really cool. The shadowy figure is a familiar villain, and I think of Candyman when I think of him except the hook is replaced with a jigsaw. The puzzle piece scene on page 89 is really cool. I like how the virtual reality aspect combines with the puzzle. It is also cool how this address was discovered by using a cipher in the first place, so it is all connected by various puzzles. The reveal on page 101 was surprising and a great twist.. I was shocked... The ending contains a great reveal and I think it was really well-done throughout because it is both realistic while also being totally unexpected. The long speech works well on page 104. I can imagine it as the big villain speech nearing the end of the film and it is both frightening and ties in the entire plot. The switching between real life and the metaverse is interesting and I haven't really seen it before in a horror film. I think it is a very cool visual and new take on a horror concept. The virtual world is not as serious and the stakes do not feel as high as the real world, but it is quite interesting. Overall, the concept is solid and the villain is cool. I think it would look really interesting on screen. I also think the settings are quite creative and there are some cool locations throughout that would be really interesting during filming. I like how all the characters are connected. The main characters are all purposeful and relate back to the puzzlemaker from the beginning.” *********** “I was drawn to read your script because of the concept. It’s intriguing, puzzles within the context of the horror genre. Your script has a lot going on in it, weaving the supernatural horror elements with complex, real world ideas, like surveillance (and the goings on at the NSA), cryptography, NFT’s, virtual reality/the metaverse, and cyber forensics. I enjoyed the dichotomy of magic versus science and how they blend really well together. I thought the ciphers and code breaking are interesting, too. The lore of the Von Donnikans and their talents, art and puzzle-making, is fascinating and worked into the overall story skillfully. I think your strongest element is your plot. There is so much going on and it moves at a break-neck speed, jumping from one locale and focus to another, but all woven together nicely. You do not provide any down time, lulls in the pace, which I personally enjoy. Once I got past the second setup, the introduction of Paul and his family and work life, and things started unfolding, I was happily engaged with the story. You provide some very effective moments of tension and dread, especially when it comes to the supernatural interactions with the daughter, Molly. Her obsession with the puzzle is palpable and the middle of the night visits from the murderous ghost in the house were written in a way that they are both reminiscent of preceding films in the genre but also have a new spin on the supernatural intruder trope. Of all the characters in the story, I felt the most emotion when reading about Molly and seeing the danger she is in. The ghostly killer is sufficiently scary and you write him in a visual way that adds to atmosphere of the piece. One of my favorite sequences is when Paul starts to tear apart the puzzle but at the same time Molly’s vitals begin to crash in the hospital and then when the puzzle is reassembled, Molly starts to get better. The reveal of the real villain was surprising but also made sense. The climax happening both in the real world and in the metaverse was creative and unique.” ************************************** "The Puzzle Maker is a thrilling blend of gothic horror, psychological intrigue, and espionage. It follows the story of Paul Quimby, a brilliant covert operative, as he unravels a web of supernatural puzzles, government conspiracies, and family drama. The script combines elements of the occult, puzzle-solving, and historical references to create a unique and captivating story. As Paul delves deeper into the mystery surrounding a puzzle box, he becomes entangled in a world of danger and must confront his own fears to protect his daughter. The script is filled with unexpected twists and turns, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats until the very end... Conflict and Stakes: Paul's struggle to solve the puzzle and protect his family from the danger it poses, while also dealing with the challenges of his job and the suspicion of his colleagues. The stakes are high as Paul's family's safety and his own career are on the line. Overall, the screenplay presents a compelling and engaging narrative with well-developed characters, a strong central mystery, and a good balance of action and suspense... the screenplay has the potential to be a highly captivating and successful feature film. Overall Rating: 9.0: This screenplay demonstrates a consistent ability to create engaging and intense scenes, effectively establishing tone and conflict while introducing supernatural and mysterious elements. The dialogue and character interactions are well-written, raising stakes and emotional impact through plot developments... The screenplay's concept revolves around the use of puzzles and supernatural elements as central plot devices, creating a sense of mystery and engaging the audience in solving the puzzle alongside the characters. Plot Rating: 9.2: The plot of the screenplay is well-developed and engaging, with multiple storylines that intersect in interesting ways. The introduction of mystery, intrigue, and suspense keeps the audience hooked and eager to know more. The screenplay effectively establishes the central conflict, raises the stakes, and propels the story forward... Overall, the plot is a strength of the screenplay and provides a solid foundation for the story. The screenplay demonstrates a strong understanding of conflict dynamics, with consistently high levels of tension and engagement throughout. The diverse range of internal and external conflicts, as well as the well-developed antagonists, contribute to a compelling and engaging narrative... " ********************************************************************************************