Born to Be Wild
Grandma Gets What Grandma Wants
We should always mind our elders, right? Younger generations, take heed: surely their ancient wisdom must be respected. And their fragile bodies and souls kept safe.
Then again, meet Mildred. In her 80s, she’s electric wheelchair bound. Dependent on family for even the simplest tasks of life, Mildred’s about as “Grandma” as it gets.
When Born to Be Wild opens, that family is temporarily limited to nine year old grandson Jamie. Dutifully completing homework in front of the TV, Jamie’s the one Mildred rolls to with her request:
MILDRED
Get me a beer!
In her golden years, Mildred is surely old enough to consent. But Jamie’s only nine. And he’s got a “higher” authority to obey… Sherry (aka “Mom”).
JAMIE
Mom said no more drinking in the house.
MILDRED
Is it too much for an old woman to ask for?
Mildred leans forward in the wheelchair, closer to Jamie.
MILDRED
I won't tell.
JAMIE
The last time you drank, you got in
a whole lot of trouble, Grandma.
“Got in a whole lot of trouble”? How?
Well, let’s just say Mildred may be past her prime physically – but mentally, she’s still quite nimble.
After Mildred pulls a prank on Jamie, he scranbles to Sherry to complain:
JAMIE (O.S.)
Mom! Grandma's being abusive again!
More than that… Mildred’s on the run! Taking advantage of an open door, Mildred waits until no-one in the family’s watching and rolls out into “freedom”. It’s a bold escape…
To: Hairy Mike’s Biker Bar. Yup, you read that right. A smoke clogged, rough and tumble joint – “Hairy’s” is perhaps not the ideal place for most old ladies to wander through. Unless your name is Mildred. And you really, really, REALLY want that beer!
But has Mildred really thought this through? Sure, her prison break was ballsy. But Mildred’s cashless and credit card free. Slick Shawshank moves don’t pay the bar tab, even if one’s hair is grey.
Eyeing two bikers at a pool table, Mildred rolls over and offers the roughnecks a sweet deal: winner gets a drink on the house. Whoever sinks the balls first.
But a woman who cons her nine year grandson isn’t to be trusted. And even if it’s from little old ladies, bikers don’t run to THEIR moms when they’re “abused.” This can’t possibly end well. Er, that depends. Because Mildred may be in her golden years, but this octegenarian rolled into Hairy Mikes’ bringing her A-game (though not in the way you might think!)
An over the top, tongue in cheek short any older actress would KILL to lead, Born to Be Wild is sure to have audiences rolling in laughter… electric wheelchair bound or not!