I Swear, Inc - take a f**#@%% chance on this great premise | Script Revolution

I Swear, Inc - take a f**#@%% chance on this great premise

They say the most honest people swear a lot. Well, I like to – bleepbleepbleep – believe that’s true. But given the colorful variety of obscenity, who comes up with this s*** day by day?

I Swear Inc. gives us one legtimiate theory: a humorous comedy with an edge of darkness and a happy ending. (Don’t you dare make a joke – there are no innuendos here!)

Still: only a real dumb %!**#@ would let this script slip away.

In I Swear Inc, time’s running out for Doug and Ralph – the mastermind creators of I Swear Incorporated. What the Hell (oops, “Heck”) is ISI? A super-secret company that every year has to find the new ‘it’ word. One every foul-mouthed curser would love to say.

It’s a job Doug and Ralph take quite seriously. But this year’s been tough… they’re running out of time to find their gem. Determined to exhaust all creative outlets, the two even resort to a little torture on their road to discovery. But never fear: all victims are voluntary and compensated. These gents are professionals.

As with any good service, you need a sample group to trial your product on. With the help of their testers, profanity (or ‘Sentence Enhancing’ as Doug and Ralph prefer to say) is bound to evolve every year. By leaps and bounds.

Do you have a (*&()(*#& idea where this is leading? Well, they THINK they’ve found a gem in “kackersquat”:

DOUG
I’ve had just about enough of your
kackersquat!

Ralph considers his statement.

RALPH
Kackersquat… hmmm…
(shaking his head)
Too long. Doesn’t roll off the tongue.

It’s a shame kackersquat didn’t make it, but take a look at I Swear Inc. And imagine what did make the grade!

What makes a script truly great? Take a simple idea and bring it to its logical (comedic) conclusion. It worked in The Hudsucker Proxy, and it could work for you as well. If you’re the smart director you think you are, take a f**#@%% chance on this great premise. And get 2016 off to a roaring start!

Pages: 5

Budget: Very affordable. A room and some comedic stars is all you need!

The Script

#$@&%*!

Since 1959, a secret company has existed whose job is to place one curse word into the English vocabulary every year -- in order to keep the language thriving and on the cutting edge.

About The Reviewer

Elaine Clayton's picture
Real name: 

Writing both features and pilots, Elaine is based in the U.K. and in 2018 received her distinction MA in Screen and Playwriting. Most recently she's been part of Zeppotron's Make a Scene workshop and has taken part in ITV's Original Voices (Emmerdale). Her 1hr pilot Chaste was a BlueCat semi-finalist 2019 and in 2020 her feature script Stowaway scored an 8 on The Black List. She has previously interned with Bafta Rocliffe New Writing and is an occasional reviewer for STS.Read more

About The Writer

Jason K. Allen's picture
Real name: 

Jason Allen is a writer and filmmaker from Nashville, TN. He is also a wilderness guide, nature photographer and award-winning journalist. His first produced screenplay was the 2009 feature comedy Lucky Fritz starring Corey Feldman and Julia Dietze. Since then he's won Best Screenplay honors at the Nashville Film Festival, San Diego Film Awards, Mountain of Laughs Comedy Fest, TSA Screenwriting Awards, and Artlightenment Film Festival, and is a seven-time finalist of the Nashville...Read more