My Brief Stint as Ferret Owner
A couple adopts a ferret with disastrous results.

Ferrets are… interesting creatures, to say the least. Or is a better term “phenomenon” – literal forces of furry nature which can’t be contained?

Phenomenons that are banned in some states and cities, due to the chaos they potentially wreak.

But wherever new happy pet parents Adreinne and Paul live, ferret owning’s legit. As Don Franke’s short “Stint” opens, Adreinne and Paul breathlessly stare at a pet carrier on the living room table. The tension is electrifying – what’s inside? 

A ferret, of course: a pet they both expect to be the new furry love of their lives.

When they open the latch, a BLURRY WHITE STREAK zips out, zooming around the apartment like a fuzzy tornado – just like Taz from Looney Tunes. They watch their new pet, already tired.

PAUL
You sure? Never had one before.

ADRIENNE
Me neither! It'll be fun. 
We're officially parents now.
 
PAUL
I might be more of a cat person.

But too late – the adoption deed’s done! Will this ferret fiend eventually calm down and be their new “baby”? Time will out – good OR bad.

For the hapless couple, the experience which follows proves to be a bitch. Though the term was originally coined for dogs, ferret horror stories apply:

As months pass, Adrienne and Paul discover Ferret’s favorite game is to hide. Under the sofa, the dryer, too. And Ferret desecrates property in creative ways. What it ends up doing Adreinne and Paul’s clothes before a laser tag game is epic… something one must read (or suffer through personally) to believe.

Then comes the fateful day Paul’s mom saves a tiny stray kitten from the street. She gives it to Adreinne and Paul, knowing what good pet parents they can be. 

But do ferrets and cute little Hello Kitties mix? As matters escalate, poor Adreinne and Paul may soon wish they’d adopted a velociraptor instead. 

Based on a true life story, My Brief Stint as a Ferret Owner ends happily (one hopes and prays!) Gently comedic – and sure to tickle audience fancies - it doesn’t even necessarily require a Ferret “Actor”. Blurs in post might just do the trick!