Plan Z
Rookie thieves attempt to rob a jewelry store whilst the owners watch the chaos from the comfort of their bed.
Movies about Jewelry Heists: those are thrill a minute, right? Conjuring up visions of George Clooney and the Oceans franchise, Heist Movies inevitably whip together brilliant plans with danger, opulent riches seized via a combination of intrigue and guts...
But not when robbers Gemma, Callum and Rob are on the job. Even the description of these bumbling burglars elicits snorts:
“GEMMA (24), who thought three positive pregnancy tests meant that she was having triplets, wears a foam, bunnie eye mask.”
“CALLUM (30), who thought chocolate milk comes from brown cows, sports a baby chick eye mask.”
“ROB (55), who thought Gemma’s "triplets" would result in a twenty seven month pregnancy, is styling his choice of mask from the Easter party pack; the sheep. He struts over to one of the empty cases and inspects it.”
As Plan Z opens this trio, who make the burglars of Home Alone look like Einstein himself. have broken into Roses’ Jewelry Store. It may be sheer dumb luck, but they’re inside… the goods (alllegedly) in reach. For the owners, surely - that’s a cause for literal alarm!
Well, not according to proprietors Eric and Anna Rose. Tech savvy shopkeepers, they sit in bed and watch the thieves via store security cameras synced to their phones. And what they see bears no resemblance to The Thomas Crown Affair. More like Pink Panther’s Inspector Clouseau, or Mr. Bean.
Eric hands Anna a cup of tea in bed, takes her cell:
ERIC
What are they doing now?
ANNA
Some form of interpretive dance?
INT. ROSE’S JEWELRY SHOP - NIGHT
The thieving trio flail across the shop floor avoiding invisible security lasers. Gemma takes
advantage of her first and last pilates session, squatting and planking her way across the room.
Callum is recklessly tackling the invisible lasers like hurdles.
GEMMA
Callum! Get your act together
because if your head gets chopped
off I’m leaving you here.
Yup, they’re dodging non-existent lasers. But none of them are Alice from Resident Evil… More like clowns from Cirque du Soleil.
Anna and Eric’s bemusement grows with every goofy step. After the “heist” team locates the safe… their stupidity gets even worse!
Rob punches in numbers for the password. Callum bellows guesses by his side:
CALLUM
Try one, two, three, four, five--
Then:
CALLUM
Try sixty nine, sixty nine, sixty nine.
Or maybe Gemma’s got the right idea:
GEMMA
Try four twenty, four twenty, four twenty.
How is this comedy of crime and errors going to end? Given Gemma, Callum and Rob’s staggering lack of combined IQ, there’s no way to be sure! Still, the laughs baked into Plan Z’s plot are guaranteed. “Steal” THIS low budget short for production (not literally, of course) – and the comedy score of the century’s yours!