Breaking Into the Industry: Build Your Own Platform, Be Your Own Agent, Think Outside the Box – and There Ain’t No God-damned Box, Either

Screenwriter pop-quiz – think quick: What’s the biggest cliché in film?

The Hooker with the Heart of Gold?  EG:  Julia Roberts’ Pretty Woman, Jodi Foster’s Taxi Driver, Rebecca De Mornay’sRisky Business and so on…

Uh, good guess. But that’s material for a different article. Dig a little deeper, try for more.

The popular girl who learns “looks aren’t everything” and falls in love with the nerd?

You’re getting warmer. Keep guessing. The third try is usually the charm.

Stick with nerd, and springboard from there.

Straight into the deep end of the “teen film” pool – i.e.: the geek (whether male or female) that desperately wants to be accepted by the popular crowd.  No matter the movie, the pattern’s the same.  Over the course of 1.5 hours or more, the nerdy protagonist does everything they can to transform into someone else. Ultimately, they fail to get traction with the cool kids.  Try as hard and sincerely as they might.

And therein lies our metaphor.  Just substitute “Studios” for “Cool Kids”. And “Screenplay Writer” for “Nerd”.  The similarities are uncanny: often, those two labels overlap!

Which brings us to our next topic: What’s a common question on screenwriting boards? 

Is Blake Snyder’s “Save the Cat” a worthwhile read? (The answer’s no – save your money for AMC.)  

How about this one, folks: How does a nerd like me get a date? 

OR – how can a writer break into film and get one’s storytelling masterpieces made?

As Shakespeare wrote, Aye, there’s the rub.  That’s a giant hurdle for all writers.

Sadly, here’s some real bad news: as much as we all wish it were true, there ain’t no easy fix.  Writers have it even worse than actors! We don’t have a casting couch shortcut.

You think sleeping with a producer’s degrading? Try begging a teen reader who doesn’t know Hitchcock from his armpit to pretty please – for the love of God – try my script!

Now brace yourself for a truth avalanche, folks. We’re gonna lay it on the line. Success as a writer is a multiple step process.  Follow this formula, and everything’ll be a cinch:

First things first: know your craft inside and out.  Have intimate knowledge of how to format a script.  Breathe, Sleep and Eat Three Act Structure and theme (read Syd Field.).  Get an organic grasp of character arc and conflict.  Ruthlessly streamline description and dialogue – keeping just enough color to make visuals pop.  Do all that several times, practice hard.  Be open to constructive criticism and rewrites. Once you’ve got those notches on your bedpost (er, casting couch?) the Studios’ll come running…. Right?

As a certain 2016 President elect likes to yell: WRONG.

Ya see, there’s a little quirk in the film industry known affectionately as the “slush pile”. A graveyard where scripts are sent to wither and die, it’s continually fed by two factors.  The first: the cold, cruel fact that everyone – including his cousin and dog – thinks they can write.  Even if they utterly ignored Step One: polishing one’s craft.  Instead, they once brainstormed an exciting, unique premise… they think. One that’ll cause Executives to trample over each other to get to it first. Maybe those writers have gone that extra mile, and purchased screenwriting software, as well.  Sure, they don’t understand the dexterity needed to juggle psychology and structure to create storytelling works of art.  But they’ve pounded out their 120 page masterpiece, convinced Hollywood will take one look, and knock down their door. 

To be fair, they may have a great idea.  Remember, everyone’s a newbie once. Some newbies have raw potential.  But when thousands of new screenwriters submit their magnum opus en mass, let’s just say Paramount probably won’t bother reading it. Resulting in precious gems getting lost in the pile.

Then there’s that no unsolicited manuscripts policy. A literary firewall that applies to Studios, Agents and Literary Managers alike.  Legal obstacles loom like horror monsters in their industry.  The sad fact is, there’ve been enough lawsuits over “stolen ideas” that no established mover or shaker would ever dare glimpse your work – even if it’s the second coming of Citizen Kane.  That is, unless someone they know recommends you. But how can that happen until someone, somewhere reads your script?

“Getting Discovered” – that’s a writer’s life-long Fairy Tale. And the definition of Catch-22.

Thanks to the internet, there are now a few tools writers can use to gain exposure:

For instance, sites/writing boards like Script Revolution and Shootin’ the Shorts (STS) (both of which are free, and have enjoyed notable success. Yay!) 

Then there are Contests, some of which are pretty great. To name a few:

PAGE International, Austin, Nicholl and Final Draft’s Big Break.  But before you go hog-wild and submit, consider this - contests only give writers press when they win.  And by “win”, we’re not talking Quarter or Semi Finalist. Finalist or Grand Prize are the only titles that matter to big-wigs.  Even for the most talented, that requires a certain degree of luck.  More and more folks submit to contests every year. And having your script’s premise cross a receptive judge’s desk is often a matter of odds.  Which isn’t to say contests aren’t worth it. They are: as long as your latest script is a gem. You know what they say in Lotto: you gotta be in it, to win it. But a smart writer doesn’t lean solely on contests. And pitch fests and query letters – even less!

So what’s the rational conclusion?  Should you give up your dream of screenwriting? Drown your sorrows in junk food and internet porn?

Not all the time.  Instead, lets harken back to that classic film cliché - the nerd vying to get into the “cool crowd”. 

And when we get there, let’s expand the underlying moral as the Life Lesson it is.

As mentioned, mastering screen writing is a multi-step process…. And there are multiple career paths to explore:

1) Ask yourself if you really want to be in the “cool kid” club.  Sure, everyone wants to make millions  -  or at least stop relying on Walmart to make enough to eat.  But are you willing to give up your scripts’ integrity in return for a buck? Which isn’t to say notes and development aren’t essential aspects of the film process. Depending on the note giver they very, very much are. 

But – to stick with our metaphor – do you want to subvert your personality (ie: nerd!) to be accepted by the crowd?  If the answer’s yes: continue to hone your craft, and keep an eye on trends. Focus on what you think studios want to see: films that may not be art, but can draw audiences nonetheless.  There’s no shame in that – it’s a valid goal.  But if the answer’s no, your target may lie elsewhere.  Like, with the indie/goth/misfit crowd.

2) Realize there’s more to life that just two cliques.  In logic/philosophy circles, that thinking’s called False Dichotomy. Elsewhere, it’s Tunnel Vision. But no matter what one calls it (even if you have a potty mouth), it’s essential for all writers to realize one thing: the end game to see your script reach the screen.  Which doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be “discovered”. In that case, you need to do the leg work yourself – finding and attracting talent that can successfully translate your work.  And obtain the funding to get ‘er done.

Which doesn’t always require begging “authority figures” or the “establishment” for attention. Whether one’s trying to be popular or “noticed”, here’s the lesson you should learn –

Nothing in society is natural. All groups, companies, and cliques are arbitrary and man-made.  There ain’t no such thing as “required rules” or “steps to take.”  And there ain’t no box to “think out of”. You wanna make something of yourself and your work?  Jettison the concept of “knowing your place” or “paying dues”.  And memorize this mental mantra: every role one plays in life is self-assigned. 

Which doesn’t mean just wishing makes things so.

Sure, you can put on the hat of writer, director and producer.  But if you do, you’d best have mad skillz. Not to mention, the money to pay for hardware, and people’s time and talents.  But once you assemble those ingredients, you’ve taken a great first step.  Then, it’s a matter of taking off one’s last blinders. Don’t look for a leader to follow. You lead. And cultivate three more things: The skin of a Rhino to handle criticism. And two balls of steel.  Never wait. Do.

If such words kindle a fire in your nerdy heart, here’s a list of possible ways n’ means.  Not an exhaustive one, but still a start:

• Always have quality work to show. Write every day. Explore each and every concept that wanders through your mind. The only costs of writing are effort and time. You can always hide any script that refuses to turn out right. But keep the good stuff flowing – like fine wine.
• Network the Shit out of everything – more than Howard Beale.  Why? Because clichés are often grounded in fact: in the film industry (whether Hollywood or indie), much success depends on who you know.
• Become your own cheerleader, a self-promoter with no shame or limits.  Don’t be blind to your flaws… fix ‘em. But when you find a message that speaks to an audience, yell it to the heavens and the stars.
• Build your own website. Market scripts to Craigslist, Mandy, ISA and more.
• Become an extrovert that would make the ghost of Robin Williams blush. Meet people everywhere – LinkedIn and Facebook.  Don’t wait for them to make the first move. Invite them to have coffee and talk.
• If you live near a college with film studies, try to hook up with artists there.
• Ask questions. Offer valuable volunteer services, when you can.
• Never, ever “know your place.” Be a Pitbull – or a Bull in a China Shop: whichever spirit animal suits you best.  (Just don’t camp out on Quentin Tarantino’s lawn to get his attention – that’ll get you arrested. Trust me. I know.)
• Build your inner circle – people you know and trust in the field.  If/when things go well for one of you, you’ll be able to mutually help each other climb higher.
• And once you build enough momentum and talent, consider crowd funding to make your own movie: via Kickstarter, Indie Go-Go and more.

Are any of these tactics a “magic bullet”?  Hells to the no, dear friend. 

To succeed in the dog-eat-dog “entertainment industry”, one has to simply cultivate the habit of keeping one’s eyes wide open and jumping at every opportunity. In fact, don’t wait for opportunities. Make them yourself. 

That’s a fact of both careers and Life. In the hard-knocks business of the Arts – it’s the veritable Name of the Game.

Whatever you learn from this article, don’t view it as a to-do list.  Succeeding as a screenwriter is never predictable – experiences vary from person to person, and script to script. But ultimately, Life’s too short to waste.  Grab a megaphone and cheerlead the hell out of it - whether or not they invite you on the team. 

And forget about joining the cool kids. Build your own damned platform.  Someday, if you pull off your brilliant plan, they’ll be the ones clamoring to get in.