Hello revolutionaries,
Valley (sold via here) is in a second round of funding. One of the themes of the notes from financiers is that they think one of the characters would have developed more skills than they have during the apocalypse. After a longish call the director and we have landed on the idea of an open credit sequence to explain the character and why she isn't Black Widow (kicking ass all over the place).
The sequence will be a series of shots showing the world falling into chaos. Intercut with visions of rural family life.
I have used INTERCUT in many scripts for conversations (normally phone calls). But intercut feels clumsy when it comes to visuals only. It is a montage of sorts. But again montage feels heavy handed. I looked at a Watchmen script, the opening credits of that are some of the best film ever, but no luck. I got a version when they were trying to hide the credit sequence from the studio.
Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.
I think it all comes down to the detail on the shots. That's what I've always found.
If this was a spec, I would probably go with;
BEGIN OPENING CREDITS
SERIES OF SHOTS
- Shot one description
- Shot two description
- Shot three description
- Shot four description
- Shot five description
END OPENING CREDITS
If in production, I would probably go with;
BEGIN OPENING CREDITS
SERIES OF SHOTS
SLUGLINE ONE
Shot one description
SLUGLINE TWO
Shot two description
SLUGLINE THREE
Shot three description
SLUGLINE FOUR
Shot four description
SLUGLINE FIVE
Shot five description
END OPENING CREDITS
I would do the latter as such because of the need to run it through scheduling software.
I would probably throw a hissy fit, lose any chance of financing and get blacklisted in town...
> montage feels heavy handed
Why? I haven't hesitated to do this under the opening credits, formatted as CJ indicates. Any MONTAGES and SERIES OF SHORTS will have to be be broken out into scene headings in the production script, but in specs they're fine, especially if we're trying to keep the thing to 100 pages or less to impress our readers!
I had such a MONTAGE that survived several drafts, but eventually I deleted it: I needed the 1.25 pages to trim the script length. Also, I realized that the biggest reason I had it in there was merely to show off the research I'd done for the script. (I don't know about anybody else, but one-half to three-quarters of the research I do doesn't show up in my stories. Arrgh!) But you should respect the intelligence of the audience, and so doff it I did.
These structures are common in historical scripts, to bring the audience quickly up-to-speed. I've done a few, and they included a narrator (hence, dialogue).
In two other examples, that I expect are fairly notorious due to their length and complexity, I have MONTAGES under the opening credits to establish the story's theme as much as to provide necessary information. One of them has no narration, but the other has a car radio playing a relevant newscast. In both, the audience gets to admire the pretty pictures, or consider the (hopefully awesome) credit list - whichever they prefer. However, the two I'm talking about also introduce us to some key characters, even if obliquely - blink and you'll miss them.
PS. And we all know the difference between MONTAGE and SERIES OF SHOTS, right?!
Steve, no doubt some fine granular difference. I remember hearing that it first appeared in a propaganda film. I also remember hearing that it was referred as an Eisenstein shot for a while. They are visual elements, as long as I can get what they look like across without causing the reader to have a stroke, job done.
We landed on this (during a zoom) as I am a fan of the first seven minutes (credits) of Watchmen. I think a mid film montage was beaten to death in the romcom. Quiet often a romcom starts with one and then they have the "they can't find happiness without the other person" montage in the middle, normally after a fight that breaks them up. Oh god I hate film formula.
They are over the first hurdle of finance. They are now lining up some advance funding as well. This was in an email I got this morning.
"We are awaiting feedback from a distribution company that could possibly part finance the film. We'll keep you posted on that."
All this scraping of cash and resources would kill me. I'll write and give the head aches to others.