BIG AMERICAN FREE

BIG AMERICAN FREE
by AC Maki

BUDDY COMEDY
*Best described as a female DUMB AND DUMBER.

IRENE KRAPP (29) lives at home with her father in Germany. Irene loves to binge watch re-runs of the 80s American TV show, “Dallas” inspiring her to become a real American and live big and free. However, her controlling, spy father, HERR SLED, (60) wants Irene safe at home where she can work at the local goose down factory.

Best friend, MARGE COX (29) agrees that America would be “YAH-some” but how to get there? At a German shopping mall, Irene and Marge both cheat on a “Win a Trip to Paris” contest, sponsored by American Express. They cheat by filling out hundreds of slips.

At his favorite hangout spot, the American shopping mall in Detroit, Francophile, DAN WANKE (29) shamelessly cheats on the same contest. Back in Germany, Irene finds out she is a contest winner, but accidentally sends the information to her father. Back in Detroit, Dan finds out he is a winner as well.

Irene and Marge escape Germany via the autobahn, thinking they are heading to America. Irene’s spy father is a stow-away in the trunk. In the meantime, contest officials, REINHARD (60) and HEINE (30) make their way to Paris to find the contest cheaters. Once in Paris, the girls rip up their five-star reservations to stay at the “Aloha Hostel” instead. This is where they meet a real American, Dan the Francophile. Irene falls in love. She wants him to teach her how to become a real American, he ignores her because she is not French.

Lost and exhausted, Herr Sled is helped by a friendly, SEA CAPTAIN (65) who speaks only French. The Sea Captain lures him into his house boat for a night of love and French reformation preparations. After a day at the "Rodent" Museum, they see Dan sneaking into a McDonald's and notice he has the coveted, American “Express” card. Irene wants it, but doesn’t want Dan to know, so they use the code words: “Lederhosen the Schnitzel” to hide their plan. At the country French nightclub, Marge slips up and tells Dan the code words. Dan thinks she wants to have sex. Dan uses Marge in a broom closet and Marge keeps it a secret.

Back at the hostel, Irene confesses her love to Dan and he tells Irene she will always be a loser who lives at home. Marge defends Irene by using the code words. Dan laughs so hard that he doesn’t notice that his “American” card has fallen out. Irene now has the American card, but a broken heart. Marge confesses to Irene about Dan and soon after, Irene gets robbed, losing her card and her American Dream. Irene is captured by the police at McDonald's and now must face her father who is ready to take her back to Germany. Just then, Marge pulls up in a RED, WHITE and BLUE Lamborghini and Irene escapes with Marge. When they reach the American Express Mecca, they can’t find the cards. Instead, they find American Express T-shirts! They don the T-shirts thinking they have become real Americans-- but officials, Heine and Reinhard block their exit and battle them with stale baguettes. The girls win.

The next day, Irene and Marge drive past a man walking along the Autobahn…it’s Dan. They back up and let Dan in and head toward the south of France, thinking it’s Texas.