Chasing the Lemon

Life hasn’t been easy for Clyde. An indigenous child adopted by a white family, she was then orphaned again at an early age. Now in her early twenties, she’s the only one left to look out for her Down Syndrome brother, Tommy. Times are tough. A score here and a score there, hustling nine-ball out of her cab just ain’t gonna cut it. Facing eviction after Tommy accidentally sets their apartment on fire, while watching a reality cooking show, Clyde feels the heat. Heartsick, the pressure is on Clyde to move Tommy to a group home. Opportunity knocks when fellow pool shark, Donny the Lemon, hits it big at the track—450 large! A compulsive gambler, Donny is the type that can’t keep two cents in his pocket—he’ll bet on anything and usually loses. Clyde finds an unlikely ally in her old friend, charming delinquent and small time thief, Nicky No-Future (a.k.a. Fewtch, he is secretly in love with her). If they can get to Donny first they’ll have a shot at fleecing him of his winnings. But they’re not the only ones: local bookie, Harry the Boof and his crew are hot on the trail. As is Donny’s wife, Roz, a Doberman with a skirt on, if ever there was one. Odds are Donny’s heading straight to Vegas. But…there’s a snowstorm and all the planes are downed. Next best bet? Donny’s favourite casino in Niagara Falls. And they’re off! A madcap race ensues to squeeze the Lemon. Each party encounters obstacles as they head toward the casino. Throw in a couple of Mexican midget wrestlers and their Jamaican body guard who are after Nicky for a Viagara deal gone bad, and things get really dicey. Ultimately, Clyde gets the first shot at Donny in a game of Nine Ball. Meanwhile, Nicky and Tommy are working hard to give the Mexicans the slip. After getting off to a fast start with Donny, over-confidence bites Clyde in the ass…she goes double-or-nothing…and loses everything. All her hopes for the future down the drain… On the verge of tears, Clyde wanders out into the casino, looking for Tommy and Nicky. The casino is buzzing. A crowd has gathered. Clyde weaves her way through, stunned to discover Tommy battling a video game. With each level he conquers, the crowd erupts in cheer. Tommy’s in the zone. He defeats the game and the room goes crazy! Tommy saves the day, winning first prize: a Tesla! The wrap up: Clyde, Nicky and Tommy drive to Texas, where they sell the Tesla to finance a successful BBQ and billiards roadhouse. Harry opens his dream business in Niagara Falls: a used-car lot/wedding chapel. The Mexican midgets get deported after a brawl in the casino, find God and reinvent themselves as televangelists. Roz uses Donny’s winnings to open an online gambling site. And Donny…well, some things never change. Donny spends every last dollar on lottery tickets, fully expecting to become a millionaire as he scratches away. Throughout the story Clyde struggles with her Indigenous heritage, finally coming to accept and appreciate it.