Hair by James Barron | Script Revolution

Hair

Type:

Status:

Page Count: 
17pp

Genre:

Budget:

Age Rating:

Logline: 
A family man trying to keep his life from falling apart becomes obsessed with impending baldness.

This Script Has Been Reviewed By Shootin' The Shorts

Have you ever had one of those days? The job is stabbing you in the eyeballs, your child wants to stab you in the eyeballs and your spouse, who is so severely/constantly let down by you, can barely look you in the, um, eyeballs? These types of days have turned into years for salesman Ted Donovan.

But meaningless career and a challenging home life are nothing compared to his REAL problem: male pattern baldness.

James Barron’s “Hair” is a witty romp through a day in a suburban man’s life; a life beginning to fall apart – and fall out.

The story starts with confirmation from his physician – Ted’s hair or, unhair, doctor.

DR. GREEN
Mr. Donovan, have you been under any undue stress lately?
At work perhaps?

TED
Yeah, a bit. There’s been some cutbacks. And I have
a new boss. And my wife’s pushing me for this
promotion when I’m barely hanging
on as is. Plus my daughter got
suspended recently. And I’ve been
feeling this shortness of breath.
Kind of like I’m hyperventilating.

DR. GREEN
Uh-huh…

TED
Is there anything you can prescribe for that?

DR. GREEN
For which part?

TED
All of it.

DR. GREEN
I really only specialize with hair.

TED
Oh. Right.

The problems mount at work, where Ted used to be an Amway selling “machine.” But now he’s locked in cold-call hell, unable to engage potential customers for more than greetings followed by dismal dial tones.

His much-younger boss – who happens to be his old boss’s son – doesn’t help matters, reminding Ted of better day’s gone by.

TED
It’s been a little slow this month.

NEAL
No worries. What’d my old man call you?
The machine. I remember you were a legend.
(quickly)
Still are. I know I can count on
You, Teddy. Or should I say machine?

TED
Ted is fine.

Ted is not fine. In fact, this is a decisive turning point in his life. And he literally meets it head-on in the form of a nearly-fatal accident behind the wheel as he checks his hair in the mirror. Knocked unconscious, he dreams of his boss Neal, who tells him “you must make a statement…. a statement shall set you free.”

This free advice amounts to Ted’s moment of clarity, leading him to do the unthinkable. And so his journey to happiness begins anew, with wife and daughter in tow. And Amway and the old Ted in his rear-view mirror – for good.

Ted’s big adventure is a warm, charming “Office Space” meets “Horrible Bosses” meets Paul Giamatti. It’s an extremely low-budget film requiring just a few locations and handful of actors – one of which may need to be willing to shave a little off his ego to make the film a “growing” success.

Pages: 19

Budget: Just a few locations and a handful of actors. We’re happy to say that’s all you need.

Review by Zack Zupke

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The Writer: James Barron

I love to write comedy along with the occasional horror/thriller. My work is frequently showcased on Janet's Shootin' The Shorts Blog (which is now part of Script Revolution too!) Feel free to check out more on my website: http://www.jbarronscripts.com... Go to bio

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