Human Resources

29-year-old Blake dreams of being a rockstar but is trapped in a dead-end café job with an egomaniacal boss, Tim. One of his bandmates gives Blake a tip about a job opening at ArcCroft, a seemingly perfect corporate company that promises a supportive, family-like environment. Encouraged and supported by his girlfriend, Denise, Blake applies for the job. On Blake’s first day, he learns that his new bosses, Jacqueline and Aaron, enforce strict and peculiar rules which force their employees to exhibit unnaturally forced happiness. One miserable employee, Gus, stands as an exception until he receives a final warning and is forced into a meeting with HR. When Gus returns, he too is overly-cheery and announces that he’s been promoted. Blake learns people who get promoted are never seen again. Despite warnings from Jacqueline and Aaron to put his work first, Blake continues to try and launch his music career, going so far as to take a sick day to play a gig. In response, Jacqueline and Aaron transform into monsters and eat Blake’s friends and bandmates before resurrecting their corpses as overly-cheerful, mindless drones. They then manipulate reality to force Denise to break up with Blake. On a lunch break, Blake runs into Tim who offers him his old café job back. Aaron and Jacqueline capture Tim and reveal their true, monstrous forms to Blake. They’re hags, who were once like the witch from Hansel and Gretel, but who have adapted to modern times by luring their victims in with stable employment before literally stewing their employees in their own misery. They eat Tim and turn him into a minion before giving Blake his final warning. With no other choice, Blake resolves to keep his job. At the work Christmas party Blake is reminded of everyone he’s lost and tries to escape. Aaron and Jacqueline again transform and stalk Blake through the office. In a climactic showdown, Blake finds their oven and tricks them both into it, vanquishing them and destroying the building. In the aftermath, Blake looks for work/life balance by applying for an office job at a record company, marrying his passion with stable work. However, the company has been bought by ArcCroft, and in true horror movie fashion, Jacqueline has survived and is his new boss once more.