Making Love in a Canoe (contained, low budget)

Three lifelong friends banter as they set up camp in the remote bush. Their post-college lives have stalled out. Despite his money-making dating app, Jordan doesn’t have a clue about women. His buddy Will lives in the moment with no ambition. His other buddy, Matt, is on the autism spectrum and hides in post grad studies. A GenZ nightmare when they lose cell reception, but it brings Ashley, a Doctorate failing miserably at her thesis on social media addiction (which she has), and Candi an intelligent Sugar Baby, to the camp with the latter immediately hooking up with Will. The group bravely decides they can survive camping without the aid of the internet and Jordan decides he will try to connect with a real woman without the aid of his dating site. Jordan fails at connecting with a real woman due to mansplaining everything, dead set on thinking all women have their period on the 28th of each month. He tricks the women into staying by faking a bear sighting. Loose cannon Candi is ready to jump in bed with Will until she discovers he has no condoms. The women are outta there until an errant skunk stops them. The men set forth with marshmallow sticks to chase it away, and redeem their skunk-stinky selves to the women. Jordan softens and convinces Ashley to try a social media cleanse, deleting apps to gain control of her online life. Love sparks between them at the same as Will and Candi finally find a condom. Jordan’s success is short-lived when Ashley finds out he is the developer of the dating app that nearly cost her her life on a sketchy date. Fed up, she leaves to find cell signal in the woods so she can get home. Jordan follows at a distance to keep her safe. They both get lost and argue on how to proceed. Jordan falls off a rock face and his injury forces him to rely on Ashley. After one night in the woods, Ashley is petrified she will die there. She half-carries him for miles until he can go no further and refuses to move. They argue again and she leaves. While fearfully waiting, Jordan encounters a rattle snake. Ashley, who thought she was walking in a straight line home, accidentally circles back and vanquishes the snake just in time. They realize that they have strong feelings for each other with Jordan declaring, “I don’t ever want to go back to not feeling this really, real feeling I feel for you.” Ashley replies, “You really real me too.” Matt sends smoke signals (old school social media) and Ashley fashions a walking boot from bark for Jordan, enabling them to walk back to camp. When Candi and Will realize they have actually slept together during college, but can’t really remember it, a lightbulb goes off for both. Will decides to travel the world to find himself, and Candi takes a real job as Will convinces her to leave the Sugar Baby industry. Jordan and Ashley return to camp to find Matt has made a crude cell phone amplifier. Ashley grabs it from him and races towards the lake to frantically check her messages. She slides ungracefully into the water, ruining her phone and inadvertently performing a permanent social media cleanse. Jordan, with his new found emotional intelligence and respect for women, consoles her and accidentally inspires her to find her long, overdue thesis topic: Social Media Detoxification and the Implications on Communication. The couples leave happily together.