North Country Boy

North Country Boy
by Jon Robert Mackenzie
Edinburgh Screenplay Competition
The writer clearly has a good knowledge of the music world, and that passion comes through very well in the script. There is a wide, diverse group of genres and styles that are showcased throughout that are sure to give something for
just about every audience member. While there are some structural improvements that could be made, scene for scene this writer is definitely on the right track.

BLUE CAT SCREENWRITERS:
Archive #1125
North Country Boy
Reader #8103
“North Country Boy” is a moving contemporary drama dealing with tough topics such as, drug addiction, and bipolar disorder. The author avoids any sugarcoating, and tells a bleak, anti-romantic story - The realistic portrayal of a gauche young musician, who at the turn of the 21st century, struggles with using drugs, and women. Who’s only aspiration in life is nothing except play the guitar professionally. The author quickly establishes his unique voice through his main character, who narrates the story. And also through citations from films, authors, and the bible all which have a philosophical quality, lending to the story all of their own.
“NCB” - A bleak look at the truth about drugs, and about what it is like to travel and play guitar, complemented by very smart, eclectic music, and a very appropriate score chosen by the author.

Laurence French
Editor/Literary Consultant
Email: laurencefrench92@yahoo.co.uk
ATTN: North Country Boy
Essentially, what you have written is a series of episodes in which Bible, a drug-addled, alcoholic, sex obsessed guitarist lurches from one crisis to another. It looks like a screenplay; it reads (in part) like a screenplay, but it is a long way from being a screenplay that a producer or director would accept. It has a lot of basic format mistakes, it lacks structure. This will take a complete rewrite to rectify. On the positive side, the basic premise is promising and could appeal to a niche market with the potential of becoming maybe a bit like Trainspotting or something. The characters are strong, this is good, particularly Bible Johnson. But none of the female leads stay around long enough to develop their characters, personalities and relationships. Just as the viewer is getting to know one of the females, she disappears, only to be replaced by another. The character descriptions are pretty bad in some places, for example: (Bible as he is described as being on page 2 ‘not unlike Eric Clapton’ (p2).
Several points to make here: first - avoid the use of double negatives. Second, in what way(s) is he like Eric Clapton? Does he look like him? Does he play guitar like him? Does he dress like him? If he plays like him, why on earth is he in a dive like The Alibi??
Some scene headings need to be more clear describing interiors: A room in a house is described as ‘typical American living room’ (p9). Is there such a place?

FILM FREEWAY.COM SCRIPT REVIEW

TITLE: North Country Boy
AUTHOR: Jon Robert Mackenzie
“North Country Boy” has an interesting plot, but needs more conflict. Based on what I gathered, the film follows a singer, Bible Johnson, who attends a nightclub to perform one of his songs. When we first meet Bible, it appears like he doesn’t want to be at the Alibi Spot Nightclub. I liked how he developed as a character. He goes from a stoner singer with a troubled past, presumably, and he transforms to a hit singer. North Country Boy has interesting supporting characters, like Boss Craig. You introduce the audience to a few other staff members, playing roles of setting Bible’s scene performance later that night. Although you had an interesting start, the pacing was a bit slow and got a bit boring throughout the script, and would’ve been better if there was more conflict You have great descriptions and characters. The details are visual and easy to envision.