Stratford Quilter

Stratford Quilter - Drama/Dark Comedic/Quirky – TV Drama Proposal (Two-hours) – Stephen Cottage 'An enigmatic artist who is a secret agent to, among others, Her Majesty The Queen.' Concept The central concept for this drama plays on the thrilling and mysterious life of the eponymous secret agent Stratford Quilter – Quilter has the demeanour and ability to move effortlessly from a suave James Bond-type figure, to getting his hands dirty in the unemotional business of kill or be killed. Stratford Quilter is seemingly an agent working entirely alone, answerable to no one – not even to MI5 who can only 'ask' him if he'll accept their requests to sort problems with high-profile individuals like Royalty, Politicians, Presidents – such is his calibre. There is always a liberal helping of 'tongue-in-cheek' irreverent humour throughout the adventures. It is essentially about a loner, but a loner that comes across as anything but – often the life and soul of the party - with no shortage of the great and the good wanting to associate with him. It is a look into the mind of a character who exists on a level outside that of everyday society but is nevertheless part of it and indeed, one of the vital unseen forces helping to maintain its status quo. The Story The drama revolves around a plot to assassinate The Queen and Prince Philip at The Trooping of the Colour. Throughout, a little more of the origins and inner workings of Stratford Quilter is revealed, as well as a look into his day to day life and the people surrounding him. There are glimpses of where Stratford Quilter comes from and some inklings as to why he is the way he is, revealed by occasional flashbacks to his rather privileged and unusual childhood – one that was heavily influenced by the death of his mother who took her own life, in the ice-house, on a side of the hill by the lake on the ancestral family estate. Stratford Quilter sets up home along with his muse and lover, Jenna, a well-known, powerful clairvoyant, in a rented remote Georgian farmstead in a remote Suffolk wood owned by Sir Julian Floxley. To Floxley, along with everyone else, Stratford is an artist, setting up a studio in his newly-rented abode. Part of the charm of Stratford is that he actually is a genuinely talented, professional artist – so much so, that all the great and the good that he knows (including The Queen, the offices of MI5, the President of the United States, and the President of Russia to name but a few) are pleased to have his work hanging on their walls with the distinctive SQ signature across the bottom right hand corner. This 'being an artist' helps to throw people off the scent of what he really gets up to. Of course, the high-profile individuals that he works for directly as an agent are in the know about his art-life and purchase his work without a second thought – it's as though he has an innate ability to connect on a close-bonded, one to one relationship with all types and levels of people. There are some dark comedic moments when for example, Stratford is fucking Princess Verity in the disabled toilet situated in a quiet corridor of the Royal Opera House, while a royal protection officer impatiently paces up and down outside the door, along with Princess Verity's Lady-In-waiting who stands waiting, nervously fiddling with her fingers, eyes cast down demurely, so that she can 'tidy the Princess up' before she goes into the royal box to join her waiting husband (upper-class twit), a waiting audience, and a waiting orchestra anxious to belt out 'God Save The Queen.' Throughout, more of Stratford Quilter's character is revealed by way of the internal struggle he has within his own self as a result of his past – he struggles to make sense of life and its purpose if, indeed, he thinks it has any, to which point of view, he conducts his private life as if tomorrow is the end of the world – everything is immediate, matter-of-fact, and usually without much emotion. He does finally apprehend in person, among the crowds watching the Trooping of the Colour, the plotters intent on the assassination of The Queen and Prince Philip – albeit dressed as a bumblebee in 'Operation Bumblebee' as it is seriously referred to by MI5. The World The world takes place in the present time excepting the odd flashback to Stratford Quilter's childhood. However, the mindset of some of the characters, for example, Sir Julian Floxley, is definitely caught up in the past, which creates a dramatic (sometimes humorous) tension between himself and Stratford Quilter, and his muse Jenna. The drama focusses on the minutiae of village life at times and highlights for example, the juxtaposition of Stratford Quilter's remote Suffolk abode which is rudely penetrated by the arrival from the capital of The Ferret, a short ferret-like, exquisitely-dressed man straight from the world of Her Majesty The Queen at Buckingham Palace – full of his own piss-and-importance – the Queen's own little rottweiler. The official Buckingham Palace milieu is featured alongside the more informal life that the Queen lives with her husband with a certain amount of tongue-in-cheek humour. Similarly, the world of MI5 with it's clandestine meetings and discussions is also highlighted with a certain amount of humour along with some brief forays into the White House Oval Office and the Kremlin. When not in secret agent mode, Stratford Quilter inhabits the world of his art exhibitions and opening nights, rubbing shoulders with media people and the like – often sleeping with them – his muse and lover, Jenna, obviously (being a clairvoyant) knows all about them – she's a very open-minded and free individual, happily telling him on his return home late one night to grab himself a drink and join her in the hot tub to 'wash away that woman' – Stratford Quilter never feels like a bad boy and is never made to feel like a bad boy, not by anyone, anywhere. Characters Stratford Quilter (40) Charismatic, handsome, a mass of curly hair, physically fit, slightly rugged, intelligent, enigmatic, and well-spoken with a very distinctive voice. Ostensibly he's an artist (and a truly exceptional one) but his real calling is as a secret agent to very high-profile individuals. He is happiest with his own company, painting in his studio, but has the sort of charm and presence that draws people to him – especially women. Stratford Quilter is not his real name – no one knows that, not even his muse and lover, Jenna. His real name is revealed in the flashbacks to childhood at the age of 10 'Quentin Somerset-Montagu-Scott' son of the largely forgotten explorer Sir Charles Montagu-Somerset-Scott, a rugged but aristocratic figure. Jenna (30) Jenna is Stratford Quilter's live-in muse and lover. Tall and strikingly attractive with thick, luscious curly black hair, buxom and full of life – she has something of the 'Romany' about her and is indeed a well-known, powerful,natural clairvoyant, having mysteriously obtaining her incredible abilities after a serious road accident at the age of six from which she wasn't expected to live. She's a totally free and open, strong individual who always speaks her mind, not suffering fools gladly. She is the ideal companion for a man like Stratford Quilter. HM The Queen and Prince Philip The Queen of England and her husband. They are seen in their official capacities with an insight into the 'goings-on' around that milieu. They are also portrayed at home (Buckingham Palace) in a more personal light, both together and individually. There is a certain amount of tongue-in-cheek humour with the couple, especially concerning Prince Philip. Sir Julian Floxley (80) An excitable and impatient man, tall – upright, well-dressed with a typical country-Suffolk-style pink shirt and tie, suited, aristocratic and well-spoken. Sir Julian is rather stuck in the past – and he likes it that way “I don't like change” he says “Change is boring.” He lives (and has always lived) alone in his mansion with a housekeeper, a gardener, a cook, and a driver for London outings for lunch at his club. He is happy surrounded by his large country estate with it's dependant houses and acres of meadows. He is happiest when surrounded by his flunkies hard at work, regardless of the futility of the tasks. His most precious flunky is his 'Batman', Clunky – Clunky is always by his side to act upon Sir Julian's every whim and fancy with a “Sir, yes sir, sir!” but but with eyes rolled and an upturned lip. Clunky (50) – Sir Julian Floxley's 'Batman' A dishevelled, stocky man with a large unruly mop of slightly too much jet black hair. He doesn't really have a life of his own as he is almost entirely given over to the service of Sir Julian Floxley to the point that he's near-on a slave. However, although he carries out every nonsensical task that Sir Julian spits out, he objects to it – always mumbling and grumbling - about nothing in particular but constantly garnering the typical aristocratic uninterested faux questioning of “What what?” from Sir Julian. Clunky lives alone in one of the dependant houses near to Sir Julian's mansion. Clunky is sexually frustrated. He takes a fancy to Jenna who knowingly and comfortably plays along with him as she walks around the house naked, knowing that he sits in the bushes at night, watching her. Secondary Characters The Ferret (50) A short man with a pinched, ferret-like face and a ferret-like personality and demeanour. Walks as if he's 'full of his own piss-and-importance' which of course, he is, having the full and absolute backing of her Majesty The Queen – he knows that he's the dog's bollocks – it pays to keep your business out of sight of The Ferret as, like in the wild, ferrets find ground-nesting birds easy prey! When Her Majesty has a sticky problem, she calls for The Ferret – he is known only as The Ferret and only ever referred to as such both by The Queen and Prince Philip, and indeed by the whole royal household at Buckingham Palace who are careful to keep their business out of his sight if at all possible. Felicity Flippance A well-known TV presenter known for the combination of her high intellect and stunning looks. She is one of Stratford Quilter's many long-standing acquaintances-with-benefits. Princess Verity (28) Granddaughter to the Queen. Married to a stuffed shirt with a stupid grin – an airhead. She's bored, and rampant. The Queen's Lady-in-waiting (55) – Discreet and tactful. Princess Verity's Lady-in waiting (45) – A Nervous wreck. Assistant Commissioner MI5 (52) - She's unflinchingly serious amidst Stratford's antics. The Witch Mardella (70?) - a mysterious figure appearing out of the woods – seems to intuitively 'know' Stratford Quilter as others don't. One of the few to connect properly with him. John Gently (50) – a millionaire private art collecter and associate of Felicity Flippance. Jasper Joyce (45) – a well-known businessman, racehorse owner, and philanthopist – boyfriend of John Gently. Lady Perkins (75) – a minor member of the Royal Family related to Princess Verity and cousin to Sir Julian Floxley.