At Attention - When Nature Calls, You Salute! | Script Revolution

At Attention - When Nature Calls, You Salute!

At Attention
On a forest trek, a young man discovers that some of the finer things in life can present themselves unexpectedly.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a lady or a man. When you’ve got to go, you have no choice!

Meet Peter: a young man with dreams of the great outdoors.  When At Attention opens, Peter’s wandering the forest like a weekend warrior. Moments later… nature calls. 

Ever the polite city denizen, Peter heads for privacy in the undergrowth. But as he – and the audience –soon find out, our protagonist is far from alone.

Enter the Narrator: a mysterious gentleman’s gentleman “exuding nobility and bearing a contagious smile.” Wearing white gloves, he waves happily to Peter and points out a spotless urinal at his side.

In the woods?!?  How? Why?!?

I thought to whistle, but didn't want to disturb his privacy.

Oh, Peter’s disturbed all right! 

He quick-zips, embarrassed at his predicament. The narrator beckons. Peter, alarmed, sneaks a look back the way he came.

Concern overridden by curiosity, Peter tiptoes over. The Narrator – well, narrates – along the way.

He was, by far, my favorite of that year.

The narrator offers the urinal. Classical music plays to set the mood.

Just good ol’ customer service….They all need a little encouragement.

So he says internally, all the while beckoning Peter to venture closer… even patting him on the back.

In every genre of film, mysteries like “what’s in the world’s happening” and “will he, or won’t he?” reign above all. And so it is with this short.

Who is this classy, calm professional with no earthly want or need? Will Peter conduct business-as-usual and give in to his urinal’s Siren song? 

Clocking in just over three pages, Matthew Portman’s At Attention is a brilliant surrealist comedy. Questions fly. Time does, too. And you’ll have a constant smile on your face throughout.

If you’re a director looking for a Yorgos Lanthimos style short for the festival circuit, you’ll love At Attention. And for anyone seeking guaranteed laughs, this script won’t “miss the mark” or disappoint!


The Script

At Attention

On a forest trek, a young man discovers that some of the finer things in life can present themselves unexpectedly.

About The Reviewer

Cam Gray's picture
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Surreal comedies are my release, but everyone else seems to like my dramas so I've put them up here for the sensible readers...

Current masterpieces include a drama that stars a peacock and a single mother, a short about the apocalypse that stars a talking blue dot, and a pilot where a housewife has to deal with her husband's retirement.

Creater of multiple audiodrama/comedy podcasts, most notably Ian's Gone Postal - https://...Read more

About The Writer

Matthew Portman's picture
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