Slangalator - That's a Cool 10-4! | Script Revolution

Slangalator - That's a Cool 10-4!

THE SLANGALATOR
When you just don't understand, get the Slangalator.

Ever find yourself watching one of those law enforcement procedurals or one of the forty-seven thousand TV shows about Navy SEALs? And despite trying hard to follow the story, you’re constantly distracted by phrases and acronyms, used to showcase how authentic the show strives to be.

Problem is, unless you actually participated in B.U.D.S (see what I did there?) and graduated from Quantico (yep, did it again), then you don’t have a damn clue what they’re talking about.

Apparently, you’re not alone.

Slangalator, by Ian. J Courter is a wickedly-fun and satirical faux commercial, marketing the benefits of the ‘Slangalator’: a Rosetta Stone-esque app used to help translate military jargon back into human tongue.

WIFE prepares food as Husband walks in.

HUSBAND
Hey, babe. I’m gettin’ with the C-O about my T-D-Y.
Be back about fourteen-hundred.           

Wife looks at camera in despair.

WIFE
I don’t understand him anymore.
Can someone please help?!?

ANNOUNCER (VO)
If you’re a military spouse, you know how
frustrating these conversations can be.
Now that frustration is a thing of the past with…
the Slangulator.

A hand model displays a smartphone as the ANNOUNCER talks.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
This revolutionary application software translates
militarese into English. Compatible with any smartphone,
it’s so easy to use, you’ll never want to be without it.

In the vein of SNL-esque infomercials, the Slangulator dives deep into all the hilarious ways software this ingenious can be applied to everyday life. Not only will you miraculously understand what GI Joe and his pals are talking about, but you can join in as well.

But, it’s worth noting your participation in the parochial buzz-phrase-a-thon may not be so welcome!

HUSBAND
…Smitty just left the TOC (tock)
when a R-P-G hit the DFAC (dee-fac).
the Jawa normally move like pond water,
but he dee-dee-mao’d the A-O so fast,
I thought he was goin’ Elvis on us.

Wife has a puzzled expression as she looks at her smartphone. Then, she smiles and MECHANICALLY reads…

WIFE
Hooah! That’s ate-up like a soup sandwich.
Sounds like Smitty’s a real fob-goblin.

The guys look at her with a mix of alarm and irritation.

A tasty morsel of mordant amusement, Slangulator smartly satirizes our societal penchant for idiomatic tribalism, one that spans multiple cultures and careers.  As a human habit, it’s one immensely hard to override: it’s just who we are, right?

Or, as our friends in the armed forces would opine: SNAFU… Everything Normal. All Fucked Up.

If you’re a filmmaker who enjoys sardonic storytelling, don’t hesitate to incorporate Slangulator into your “dialogue”. Act ASAP. Or your chances will forever be FUBAR’d. Shoot, you may even earn yourself some Chest Candy (dammit, I did it again), with a tale that’s so A1!

 

The Script

The Slangalator

When you just don't understand, get the slangalator.

About The Reviewer

J.B. Storey's picture
Real name: 

I originally hail from the UK, but now reside in Seattle, WA.

Over the years I've written award-winning feature length & short screenplays. As well as award-winning stage plays (Last Cup of Sorrow, Wolves at the Door).

I've had four pieces of my work produced for screen and stage: An Angel Whispers (short film), Adrifting (short film), Good Deeds (short film), and Last Cup of Sorrow (stage play).

These days I write, because it's a creative outlet, and I enjoy the...Read more

About The Writer

Ian J. Courter's picture
Real name: 

I have been a technical writer for over fifteen years and published academic articles, but my true desire has been screenwriting. So far, I have written fifteen shorts and seven feature-length scripts. I draw inspiration from a wide range of sources to include: - Graduate degree in international relations and comparative government - Over twenty years of military experience, including overseas combat tours - Extensive time spent in foreign countries with immersion in foreign cultures and...Read more

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