The Slangalator by Ian J. Courter | Script Revolution

The Slangalator

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Page Count: 
3pp

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Logline: 
When you just don't understand, get the slangalator.
Synopsis/Details: 

This fauxmercial pokes fun at military jargon that half the time service members don't even understand. It is worse for military spouses who could use a handy little app to help them understand their loved ones. Enter the Slangalator, brought to you by the folks at AppRoach Software. AppRoach, it survives almost anything.

Original poster photo courtesy of:
"Woman Using a" by Rawpixel Ltd
https://www.flickr.com/photos/byrawpixel/45789234071/
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

This Script Has Been Reviewed By Shootin' The Shorts

THE SLANGALATOR
When you just don't understand, get the Slangalator.

Ever find yourself watching one of those law enforcement procedurals or one of the forty-seven thousand TV shows about Navy SEALs? And despite trying hard to follow the story, you’re constantly distracted by phrases and acronyms, used to showcase how authentic the show strives to be.

Problem is, unless you actually participated in B.U.D.S (see what I did there?) and graduated from Quantico (yep, did it again), then you don’t have a damn clue what they’re talking about.

Apparently, you’re not alone.

Slangalator, by Ian. J Courter is a wickedly-fun and satirical faux commercial, marketing the benefits of the ‘Slangalator’: a Rosetta Stone-esque app used to help translate military jargon back into human tongue.

WIFE prepares food as Husband walks in.

HUSBAND
Hey, babe. I’m gettin’ with the C-O about my T-D-Y.
Be back about fourteen-hundred.           

Wife looks at camera in despair.

WIFE
I don’t understand him anymore.
Can someone please help?!?

ANNOUNCER (VO)
If you’re a military spouse, you know how
frustrating these conversations can be.
Now that frustration is a thing of the past with…
the Slangulator.

A hand model displays a smartphone as the ANNOUNCER talks.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
This revolutionary application software translates
militarese into English. Compatible with any smartphone,
it’s so easy to use, you’ll never want to be without it.

In the vein of SNL-esque infomercials, the Slangulator dives deep into all the hilarious ways software this ingenious can be applied to everyday life. Not only will you miraculously understand what GI Joe and his pals are talking about, but you can join in as well.

But, it’s worth noting your participation in the parochial buzz-phrase-a-thon may not be so welcome!

HUSBAND
…Smitty just left the TOC (tock)
when a R-P-G hit the DFAC (dee-fac).
the Jawa normally move like pond water,
but he dee-dee-mao’d the A-O so fast,
I thought he was goin’ Elvis on us.

Wife has a puzzled expression as she looks at her smartphone. Then, she smiles and MECHANICALLY reads…

WIFE
Hooah! That’s ate-up like a soup sandwich.
Sounds like Smitty’s a real fob-goblin.

The guys look at her with a mix of alarm and irritation.

A tasty morsel of mordant amusement, Slangulator smartly satirizes our societal penchant for idiomatic tribalism, one that spans multiple cultures and careers.  As a human habit, it’s one immensely hard to override: it’s just who we are, right?

Or, as our friends in the armed forces would opine: SNAFU… Everything Normal. All Fucked Up.

If you’re a filmmaker who enjoys sardonic storytelling, don’t hesitate to incorporate Slangulator into your “dialogue”. Act ASAP. Or your chances will forever be FUBAR’d. Shoot, you may even earn yourself some Chest Candy (dammit, I did it again), with a tale that’s so A1!

 

Review by Jeremy Storey
Submitted: November 30, 2018
Last Updated: January 11, 2019
Times Downloaded: 32
Last Downloaded: October 11, 2019

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Gold Star

The Writer: Ian J. Courter

I have been a technical writer for nearly fifteen years and published two academic articles, but my true desire has been screenwriting. So far, I have written fifteen shorts and seven feature-length scripts. I draw inspiration from a wide range of sources to include: - Graduate degree in international relations and comparative government - Twenty years of military experience, including overseas combat tours - Extensive time spent in foreign countries with immersion in foreign cultures and language - Wide range of reading interests (classic science fiction, politics, science, economics, and governmental systems) - The depth and breadth of people I have known from around the world Go to bio

Ian J. Is A Rockstar Member Of Script Revolution

That means Ian J. helps keep the site running by contributing at least $5 a month via our Patreon Campaign. The site you are using right now is here partly because of their kind generosity.

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