Something for the Weekend
A desperate driver has to jump through hoops to get his car back before the impound yard closes for the weekend.
Getting one’s car towed is a nightmare in the best of times. It’s nothing one expects or plans for… right? The fees are sure to bleed one’s bank account. Then there’s the inherently nasty Catch-22: how can you even get to the storage yard when your regular transport’s been nabbed?
All horrific prospects. But Anthony Cawood’s Something for the Weekend envisions an even worse (albeit funnier) ordeal.
As the script opens, we meet Ben – screaming through the chain link fence of the impound yard. Red faced and sweaty, he’s only 20 something, yet already at his wit’s end.
All because his Land Rover’s been towed. On Friday. But even worse, he’s about to meet… Stan.
Who’s Stan, you ask? Welp, Stan’s the “guardian” of this particular, vehicular Land of the Lost. Wielding a clipboard and an attitude, Stan wields immense leverage over ANYONE who wants their sweet, precious ride back. And once negotiation between he and Ben begins, it soon becomes clear… Stan’s enjoying every second of this power trip.
He hangs up and saunters over to the fence.
STAN
Closed.
BEN
What?
STAN
The sign, six fiery red letters.
He points to the gate to Ben's left where a large sign does indeed say 'Closed'.
BEN
You trying to be funny?
STAN
Not since 1983.
BEN
Pardon?
STAN
1983, when I last attempted to
tickle the funny bone of my fellow man.
In truth, Stan’s not just funny. He’s an avenging angel of morality, too. That becomes obvious when he applies karmic justice to the reason why Ben’s Rover was towed. (And believe us, Dear Reader – if you drive and park at all, you’re sure to appreciate this one a lot!)
STAN
So, your tank was towed because you
parked in a disabled persons driving
space, when you do not have a permit
for such a space, so that you could
place a bet on a football match that
is tomorrow. That a fair summation?
BEN
Yes. But --
STAN
You would still like your car back?
BEN
Exactly.
Stan shuffles over to the sign, taps it through the fence.
STAN
Still closed.
Will Ben spring his beloved wheels from vehicular Sing-sing? Will Stan cut him a deal he can’t refuse?
A gem of situational comedy, and lightning quick banter of the absurd, Something for the Weekend is “Something Great” for any director looking for contained comedy. Get yourself two actors with comedic chemistry, and you’ll get “in” easily... with the festivals, not Stan’s impound yard!
Known for her unique characters and plots, J.E. Clarke has optioned her feature length horror, "Containment" with Primestar Film Group (director Mike Elliott of Scorpion King 4 attached), her SF feature "Stream" with Purryburry Productions, John Noble of "Fringe" and "Lord of the Rings" attached. Her fantasy/SF "Evergreen" (cowritten for Adam Zeulhke of Zenoscope Productions), is currently in preproduction, along with Entanglement...Read more
Award-winning screenwriter with one feature produced and a further four features optioned or in pre-production. In addition to features, over forty short scripts produced/sold/optioned - including ten filmed. Also occasionally pens screenwriting articles, interviews with writers and filmmakers, and even a short story or two. You can find out more at www.anthonycawood.co.ukRead more