Kenzie and Spinks by andy watters | Script Revolution

Kenzie and Spinks



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Private Detectives Kenzie & Spinks totally misjudge an innocent situation and convince their client his wife is having an affair. Death and destruction ensue.

Kenzie and Spinks, two supremely inept, 'private detectives,' actually spend most of their time walking dogs and locating lost pets, which thankfully keeps them from doing untold harm on the rest of humanity. But then a 'real' job comes along, tailing the wife of Kelvin Kramer; his jealousy a small fire, fuelled by his devoted secretary, who wants him for herself and keeps adding a few sticks to the fire, just to keep up the heat.

'We see things other people cannot see' - the sales pitch on Kenzie and Spink's business card, is taken to extreme when they totally misjudge an innocent situation where Jo Kramer meets an old friend and they convince Kramer that his wife is having an affair. They even have photographs to 'prove' it.

Kramer wants the 'lover' scared off. But in the process of scaring, Spinks accidently shoots him dead. But is he really dead? They take the body into the woods to bury it, but with an ineptitude bordering on farce, they somehow manage to lose the body. All this they fail to reveal to Kramer and try to cover up their ineptitude.

But Kramer won't pay their fee until he sees the photographs showing his wife and lover together. But Kenzie and Spinks can't show the actual photographs as this would incriminate them in the lover's death, if indeed he be dead. So they rig some fake photographs, where Spinks accosts Jo Kramer, hugging and kissing her, in pretence of being acquainted, all the while being photographed by Kenzie. By the time she realises she doesn't know him, it's too late. Kenzie then hands over the incriminating photographs to the client, as 'proof' and in order to get paid their fee.

Two weeks later and Spinks spots the lover with the client's wife once again. So he's not dead after all. Convincing themselves that the lover hasn't gone to the cops because he's coming after them instead, Kenzie and Spinks decide it's time to leave town. But first they decide to try and make a few more dollars out of their former client Kelvin Kramer by informing him of the lover's return and offering their further help, for an agreed fee.

The client is mad as hell and wants the lover beat up this time, with photographs to prove the damage, and he'll pay good money for this to happen. Kenzie agrees. Trouble is, the client thinks Spinks is the lover due to those earlier staged photographs, so they have to rig up some more fake photographs, this time with Spinks supposedly 'beat up' bad, all covered in fake blood and bruises.

But before they deliver the photographs, collect their final fee and split for good, they need to accost the 'lover,' and get him to back off - just for enough time for them to get paid, pack up and leave town for good, all before the shit hits the fan. And to make sure of no accidents this time, Kenzie removes the bullets from Spink's gun but accidently leaves one in the chamber. Spinks waving the gun about carelessly, shoots the lover dead, a second time!

Once more they take the body to the woods for burial, only to stumble upon a decomposing corpse. In a revealing flashback scene, Jo Kramer meets an old friend, who is looking for his missing brother. Kenzie and Spinks now realise the truth. They have only managed to kill identical twin brothers.

Meanwhile Kramer has confronted his wife and in a jealous rage, kills her. Now he too is in the same woods burying his wife, while Kenzie and Spinks stay hidden, a short distance away. To save themselves a lot of digging, Kenzie and Spinks decide to dig up the wife and bury the identical twins beneath her.

Kramer confesses to his devoted secretary the 'accident' of his wife's death and pleads for her to help him. Instead, she contacts the police. The husband leads the police to the grave of his wife. They dig up his wife only to reveal another body beneath. And beneath this, yet another body. The husband can't understand what the hell has just happened. He completely flips, tries to escape and is shot dead by police.

Kenzie and Spinks live to fight another day.

Submitted: January 10, 2020
Last Updated: January 29, 2020

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The Writer: andy watters

I am a writer in as much as anyone who can think and put those thoughts on a page in the form of words, is therefore a writer. So that pretty much accounts for a large chunk of the population. Now this is where it gets difficult. What sets me apart? Ok, so I have a vivid imagination. Big Deal. I have been writing screenplays for over twenty years now. Big Deal. I currently have four screenplays completed and being 'tweaked' right now. Big Deal. I was a quarter finalist in a 2018 screenplay competition for my screenplay STUMPY COMES CLEAN, which you can read below. Big Deal. So far so average. So why do I do it? Simply because I love the process of creating something new and original. It's... Go to bio

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