Necronomicondominium by J. Phillip Wilkins | Script Revolution


Karen thinks she's just selling a condo, but her clients are a cult looking for a place to bring back their god from the netherworld.



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Karen, a real estate broker, stes up her newest listing for an open house. The penthouse condominium is ready to go. She opens the curtains to feature the expansive balcony when a bat-like creature slams into the glass doors. She hastily cleans up the mess and returns to the condo to await prospective buyers. A long wait and several cups of coffee later, still no one has come by. She calls her assistant to let her know she's calling it. Just as she hangs up, there's a KNOCk at the door. Finally, some clients!

But these are no ordinary clients. First, two men in matching black suits barge in a stare at the coffee table. Another group arrives, men and women dressed for an Amish barn-raising. And then, a giant of a man, with a sledgehammer over one shoulder. Karen calls her assistant and orders her to bring more chocolate muffins. Frank, the leader of the group, explains that they are taking the condo, not buying it. A SMASH comes from the master bedroom, The strange men lead Karen in and she sees the giant man has knocked a hole in the wall in order to retrieve an ancient statuette. The men return to the living room where Karen sees a pregnant woman has been laid on the coffee table.

Frank places the statuette on the table and leads the others in a chant. Karen can't escape as she is being held firmly by the giant man, forced to watch the arcane scene. After a prayer in a lost language, the group welcomes the mutant newborn to chants of FEED! FEED! FEED! Frank places the demon baby on Karen's chest, it's fangs next to her neck. It bites down, Karen screams...

And then, the gathered suddenly notice they are not alone when they hear something drop to the floor. They turn to see Karen's assistant, a basket of chocolate muffins at her feet. With hideous grins, the group cheerfully say... "We'll take it!"

Submitted: July 22, 2020
Last Updated: May 5, 2022

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The Writer: J. Phillip Wilkins

J. Phillip Wilkins is a composer and the author of several unfinished books, including 'Desert Witch', 'The Girl From Yuma', 'Laughter, Far Away', and 'Lighthouse At The World's End'. His tenure as one-third of indie pop outfit The Postmarks was followed by a move to the West Coast demimonde. Won second place in a writing contest at his middle school with his first short story, runner-up to a son-of-a-bitch who plagiarized Stephen King. Became obsessed with Incans after watching an episode of In Search Of. Over the ensuing decades, he split his time between writing and music, finally making a career with a band while working as a production manager for newspapers and tabloids. In 1992 he... Go to bio
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