Stalled by Jonathan Sieff | Script Revolution


A man trapped in a toilet - a dead mobster in the next stall - two impatient goons waiting for their boss on the other side.



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PAUL STRACHAN (55) finishes up at the urinal and turns around as MALCOLM FINCH (60), an infamous mob boss, crashes through the door, hand over mouth and rushes to a nearby stall. He slams the door shut and locks it. Strachan is about to leave but is distracted by the moans, groans and wretches coming from Finch’s stall. Strachan’s wife phones and tells her that he’ll be home soon.

Finch’s stall goes quiet.

Strachan hangs up and checks under Finch’s stall and is shocked by his feet splayed out at an unnatural angle. Curious, he investigates, peaking over from the next stall to find Finch’s head slumped forward, his trousers around his ankles and bloody vomit dripping onto the floor.

Strachan listens at the toilet entrance as two GOONS murmur on the other side. He searches the toilet and spots a window. Strachan tries with all his might to open it but it’s been locked shut. He readies his elbow to smash it but reconsiders.

Strachan listens again. A Goon knocks, asking if Finch is okay. Strachan impersonates Finch, saying he’ll be out in a minute. The Goon reminds him of their imminent meeting. Strachan spots a smoke alarm on the ceiling. He lights a cigarette but nothing happens. Strachan climbs on the sink and pulls the cover off the alarm, discovering dead batteries inside.

The Goon knocks again and reminds him that they’re already late. Strachan demands they wait. The Goon worryingly reminds him that Asimov’s offer is only available tonight. Finch’s phone rings. Strachan reluctantly lies down and stretches his arm into the stall, tugging on Finch’s trouser leg, then into the pocket, retrieving the phone.

Strachan is stunned when the phone rings again. He hesitantly answers it, again impersonating Finch. Asimov trembles with fear at Finch’s voice, questioning why the poison didn’t work. Strachan quickly hangs up.

The Goon smacks on the door. They can’t wait much longer. The door bursts open. Both Goons storm in. The bathroom is empty. Strachan is huddled on top of a toilet. Finch’s stall door is kicked open.

One Goon is distraught by their discovery. Strachan is terrified by the agonising sounds of one Goon being murdered by his partner in a double-cross. Followed by a phone call to Asimov telling him it’s done.

The Goon is about to leave. Strachan’s phone bings. The Goon nudges the stall door open.

Submitted: March 5, 2019
Last Updated: August 18, 2021

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The Writer: Jonathan Sieff

Jonathan is a writer, reader and consultant with Screen Talent and also provides book and script coverage independently. He graduated from the University of Bedfordshire in 2016 with a 2:1 in Media Production: Scriptwriting. Whilst at university, he continued to develop an already keen interest in screenwriting and film theory, picking up a fondness for Spaghetti Westerns and Film Noir, and had his script, Tattoo produced by a production company in Newcastle. Jonathan is an avid reader, with a preference for non-fiction, however, he is also a huge comic book and pulp fiction fan. If you read a script and are interested in making it, feel free to get in touch. Scripts produced: Tattoo (... Go to bio

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