The Sad Demise of Durable Mike Malloy

Tony Marino and his cohorts are in dire straights during the great depression. Jobs and money and food are scarce. Crime is not unfamiliar to this group and is on the table. Heresy, one of the gang members, relates a story of his wife’s sister’s husband who died and left an insurance policy for his wife. This intrigues Tony who launches a plot to take out a policy on Mary, a local drunken whore, and kill her. With the success of this, Tony invites his gang into the next plot. Picking Mike Mallory, a large man who is also a local drunk turns out to be a mistake. The first attempt to poison him with antifreeze did not faze Mike in the least. Another attempt to poison him with turpentine also had no effect. The next attempt to feed him a spoiled sardine sandwich laced with carpet tacks only made him hungry for another. Tony decides the way to kill Mike is the same way he killed Mary by getting him drunk until he passes out and put him outside stripped naked and pour water on him on the coldest night of the year. This did not affect Mike. The desperate gang then enlists the help of a local cab driver who runs over a passed-out Mike. A search for Mike in the local morgues turns up nothing. Much to their surprise, Mike shows up. A few broken bones only put Mike out of commission for a few weeks. Exasperated Tony finally decides to get Mike drunk and to shove a gas pipe down his throat. After about an hour Mike finally expires. After a public squabble about the money, the gang splits the money and their ill-gotten gains do not go unnoticed. The local police eventually hear about pour Mike and the several attempts on his life. This leads to their arrest and eventual prosecution. The only one to escape the electric chair was the timid Francis who spilled the beans. So is the tale of “The sad demise of Mike Mallory.”