Yahoo! by D.C. Copeland | Script Revolution




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Annual swamp buggy racing derby in Naples, FL
NASCAR meets "Ben-Hur" in a figure-8 track of mud, blood, and beer as swamp buggy racers go hog wild at the annual swamp buggy races in Naples, FL.

BURT BINGES, a local barkeep who sings in his own house band, is a very frustrated man. Despite his best efforts, he just can't win the final race in the annual swamp buggy derby in Naples, FL. Not only has he lost respect for himself and tarnished the family's name, he's also losing business. No self-respecting redneck cracker swamp buggy aficionado could tip a brewski in such a famous loser's saloon. Now if Burt can overcome his reputation which includes having a lack of good taste in best friends like DINGO DORFMAN, and a father who wants him to become a Senator so that Burt can pass favorable legislation that would allow him to drain the swamp for a housing project, he might just make it this time around.

Unfortunately, Burt has the prospect of racing against some of the meanest, orneriest fellows a swamp ever belched up such as: EDDIE FLETCHER, the reigning champion who has a three generation junkyard in his backyard at his disposal for the purpose of building buggies, a tank or whatever it takes to keep on winning; CHIEF JACKSON, the local police chief who races a buggy equipped with siren and flashing beacon who will stop at nothing when racing- even if the town's only bank is being robbed; and of course, the mystery team of the races, CRAW and HOLDEN RABANONWITZ, the "rabbis of the swamp," who are psyching out everyone with their aberrant behavior.

But wait there's more to this story than just men and their silly- but very fast- machines. There are women like Eddie's swamp bred sister VERA JEAN who only gets dates a few weeks before a race because the competition will do anything at least once a year to find out how her brother keeps winning. And then there is the belle of the ball, the voluptuous DOLLY DUNBAR, the "Swamp Buggy Queen" who uses her ample attributes to wile her way into Burt's good graces and his swamp buggy which she races in the Powder Puff and wins by the slight margin of a 40" D-cup.

These characters coupled with man-eating alligators, Jeep-eating dogs, beard judging contests, hoe downs, free-for-alls and a US Army sponsored tank racing and firing live ammo in order to win, capture the true spirit of the event with an "Animal House" sensibility.

Submitted: October 17, 2017
Last Updated: December 20, 2019

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D.C. Copeland's picture

The Writer: D.C. Copeland

Hello, thanks for taking a look at who I am. Hopefully you aren't here because you were “misdirected,” that you want to find out more about just who this D.C. Copeland is after reading one of my loglines. I'm an artist, a muralist, and a writer whose canvases and stories are for the most part writ large across time and space. While in college at the University of Miami , I co-founded Ecology Action of Florida . That sense of saving the environment can be found in many of my works. While creating works of art and fiction, I supported myself and my family as the Warner Bros Pictures Florida Field Rep for Publicity and Promotion for nearly 20-years. During that time I got to know many... Go to bio

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