
Synopsis/Details
All Accolades & Coverage
From 13 Horror screenplay contest (judged as Finalist - 2022):
It’s a neat idea and genuinely creepy. It’s very atmospheric and you have a real talent for writing in a way that really suits the nightmarish feel you’re going for with this. There’s a Something Wicked This Way Comes quality to it and an ear for dialogue which brings Death to life (if you’ll pardon the contradiction). My only slight concern is the length. At eighteen pages, I think you have inflated things by about five or six pages. Part of this inflation comes from your habit of using the actions/descriptions sections as a way to third-person narrate some of your ideas (for example, the fact that there is still a person in the bed when Timmy initially gets up, plus musical steers). Yes, it’s good writing but some of these things belong more to a short story than they do in a screenplay. I understand that you’re leaving clues for a potential director to pick up but I think if you were to keep these things open then the narrative itself will be enough for them to work with and deliver on. I think if this was tightened up it would really allow the numerous flashes of brilliance to shine even more. Atmospheric, original and well written. Great job.