Been a Nice Year for Roses

Robert’s passion? A 1st at the Chelsea show. When forking his rose-bed, he’s confident with ‘fresh’ Blood and Bone fertilizer he can. Ruby and forensic scientist husband Robert are physically and socially poles apart. They hate each other. His passion? Roses. His ambition? A first at Chelsea flower show. Fresh Blood & Bone fertilizer is perfect. For years Ruby has threatened to clear him out financially, destroy his reputation with accusations of physical and mental abuse should he divorce her. After reading unsolved murder mysteries, he has more than a faint interest in the subject. Ruby is enormous, ‘how do I get rid of all that flesh? Had he pondered? Providing she is reduced to little bits, several fertilizer bags will handle her. Depending on how generous he is with her, there’s sufficient blood and bone for a year or two. It sounds like he condones murder. Robert doesn’t believe this an act of murder. As Britain’s top forensic scientist, he considers it an act of kindness. He ‘Knows’ Ruby’s days are numbered, with heart trouble. So aided with threats to leave, he’s had enough of Ruby. He can see no hitches. Then fate takes a hand. The Irish Times Newspaper headline reads, Nine Joyriders lost at sea after a crash. According to the records of a dis-reputable holiday firm, she was on the small plane. The Police visit Robert declaring she will be registered as dead. Right now, Ruby is in bed recovering from influenza, oblivious to past events. An hour passes, she struggles from her bed, leans over the banister to call Robert for help, but topples over it to the floor below. Dead. Fresh blood and bone are now available. A week later, when Robert opens his front door to the broad backside of a woman in a violet dress admiring his Roses. She turns, it is Ruby’s identical twin-sister Violet, declaring she ‘has come to look after him.’ All he needs now is a name for his champion, Rose bloom.