Been a Nice Year for Roses by Ron Shears | Script Revolution

Been a Nice Year for Roses

Overweight Ruby and forensic scientist husband Robert hate each other. Robert’s passion? A 1st at the Chelsea show. While forking his rose bed, he’s confident with ‘fresh’ Blood and Bone he can. So will he?



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Robert’s passion? A 1st at the Chelsea show. When forking his rose-bed, he’s confident with ‘fresh’ Blood and Bone fertilizer he can.
Ruby and forensic scientist husband Robert are physically and socially poles apart. They hate each other. His passion? Roses. His ambition? A first at Chelsea flower show. Fresh Blood & Bone fertilizer is perfect.
For years Ruby has threatened to clear him out financially, destroy his reputation with accusations of physical and mental abuse should he divorce her. After reading unsolved murder mysteries, he has more than a faint interest in the subject.
Ruby is enormous, ‘how do I get rid of all that flesh? Had he pondered? Providing she is reduced to little bits, several fertilizer bags will handle her. Depending on how generous he is with her, there’s sufficient blood and bone for a year or two.
It sounds like he condones murder. Robert doesn’t believe this an act of murder. As Britain’s top forensic scientist, he considers it an act of kindness. He ‘Knows’ Ruby’s days are numbered, with heart trouble. So aided with threats to leave, he’s had enough of Ruby. He can see no hitches. Then fate takes a hand.
The Irish Times Newspaper headline reads, Nine Joyriders lost at sea after a crash.
According to the records of a dis-reputable holiday firm, she was on the small plane. The Police visit Robert declaring she will be registered as dead. Right now, Ruby is in bed recovering from influenza, oblivious to past events. An hour passes, she struggles from her bed, leans over the banister to call Robert for help, but topples over it to the floor below. Dead. Fresh blood and bone are now available.
A week later, when Robert opens his front door to the broad backside of a woman in a violet dress admiring his Roses. She turns, it is Ruby’s identical twin-sister Violet, declaring she ‘has come to look after him.’
All he needs now is a name for his champion, Rose bloom.

Submitted: September 11, 2020
Last Updated: November 24, 2021

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The Writer: Ron Shears

He was born in 1935 in Kent, England grew up in Bomb Alley during WW2. He served a 5-year apprenticeship as a Compositor Typographer. Met Patricia, an Art Student at age 17, married in 1957. They have a daughter, two son's eight grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. He left a print after 11 years to start a roof tiling and slating business, eventually employing 52 trade's men. Nine years later, lost a fortune to bad debts when oil price increased 400% in four days. Builders large and small went broke, taking him with them. Some years later, he migrated to Australia. Broke, did building site laboring work to support the family., started writing to keep sane, never showed anyone for... Go to bio

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