Synopsis/Details
THE PROBLEM:
So picture this: three of my exes walk outta’ prison on the same damn day. Not a joke. They don’t know about each other but two of them want my head. The third just wants to settle down. Only one tiny issue - I don’t exactly have the cut of the loca seńioritas.
THE SOLUTION:
Luckily, my uncle George works for a chip manufacturer. All it took was a few forged emails, a smile, and boom—he “accidentally” orders $4 million in casino chips. My plan? Let the Gaming Commission see half of them destroyed, smuggle the other half and gamble half of that across the city with a rotating cast of nobodies who look like they belong at penny slots. Slow and quiet. They launder one million as losers at the casinos and walk out with the $1million I need to take care of the ladies. That was the plan.
THE SNAG:
Then the girls call. They want their share by sunup—or else. So I call in cousin Andre. He shows up with sixteen non-English-speaking undocumented gamblers, all ready to lose. Add the exes to the mix, and somehow, we launder $2 million without dying. Gold star.
THE SECOND SNAG:
Then the ladies win big. Like, real big—ten mil. Suddenly, casino security and the IRS is watching. The girls are watching each other. Somebody pulls a gun. I get chased through the Strip. Two of them get arrested. One still has her winnings and buys peace with a six-figure necklace and a car that costs more than my apartment.
And then, surprise! One ex stabs the other in the back— literally. She steals the Aston Martin, and crashes it trying to outrun Metro. The necklace? It was only a mock-up worth fourteen grand. The real one? Sent straight to the only one who didn’t try to kill me.
Some days, crime really does pay. Just not for everybody.
