Don't Call Me Sir by Brandi Self | Script Revolution

Don't Call Me Sir

Two soldiers discuss love and freedom as they hide in the trenches from murderous, fire-shooting giants who have already claimed the lives of their comrades.

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5pp

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Sergeant Louse and PFC Cootie run for their lives, their buddies falling left and right behind them, burned to a crisp by the laser-like jets of fire coming down from monstrous unseen beings who were thought to be urban legends. They find respite in the trenches but soon begin discussing their lives in “the colony” where PFC Cootie has found love and Sergeant Louse is tired but doesn’t want to retire because it’s a disrespectful death. But when another soldier reveals their hiding space, alerting the beasts, Sergeant Louse makes an unexpected move to set himself free forever, leaving PFC Cootie to his own devices.

Submitted: January 12, 2023
Last Updated: January 15, 2023

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Brandi Self's picture

The Writer: Brandi Self

Produced, Award-Winning Screenwriter I create surreal, carefully constructed stories that dissect love, morality, oppression, identity, alienation, and stagnation by catapulting characters into sometimes absurdly juxtaposed worlds where they must use self-examination as a tool for escape and redemption. Influences: Ari Aster Rod Serling/Twilight Zone Charlie Kaufman David Lynch Franz Kafka Background: I guess it all began with me hanging out of the back of a moving van as I threw raw meat to an angry grizzly bear, hoping the cameraman could get the perfect shot. Yeah, I started in production, reality television to be exact. But, it wasn’t all bad, I got to party with rock stars, shoot guns... Go to bio

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