Galaxy News - The Pringles Genocide by Dan Alex | Script Revolution

Galaxy News - The Pringles Genocide

How will the future be remembered? "Men in Black" meets "News Radio", meets "30 Rock".



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Galaxy News, the best news channel from the year 4019, that brings you the best information from Earth, and the twenty-one neighboring civilizations of our galaxy.
Our news presenters are, Micelius Dante, a sloth type humanoid from a planet where everyone, including women and children, speak and act like Walter Cronkite, and Mary 76 Camaro who is a wild spirited human.

Here are a few headlines:

o A riot on “I Planet”, owned by the Pumpkin Corporation, presented by Boxer Snapchat.
o Disgruntled drivers must come once a year for ten minutes to charge their vehicles for another twelve months, a story presented by Firewall Trumpet the 3rd.
o A family of four was arrested for being offline for two weeks.
o Weather with Facebachus Fox.
o Sports with Erik Grandbra.
o War correspondent – Honky Dory.
After the news bulletin ends, Erry Ackso, a young intern missing a few letters from his birth certificate, tells Mrs. Mary 76 that Mr. Edgar J Muskelon, the Network Executive, requested her presence into his office.
In here, Mr. Muskelon, a combination between a Buffalo and a charming aristocrat, informs Mary 76 and Micelius that a new member will be added to the team, a humanoid alien from the planet Optylon named Saint Noodes, assigned to uncover the missing pieces of human history between the years 1566 and 3516 in order to save planet Earth from annihilation.
After we discover that Micelius secretes explosive Napalm in his bowels, his family comes to visit. His wife, two children and the dog, all look like Dante’s exact clones, which makes it impossible for Muskelon to tell them apart, and ends up kissing the dog.
After the meeting, Mary takes Saint Noodes on a tour of the studio where they meet with Erry Ackso and Micelius, the latter which has a date with a very expensive sex robot, a Trabant, paid for with Mary 76’s breast implant, which he stole while she was drunk one night.

Submitted: December 8, 2019
Last Updated: May 19, 2022

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This Script Is Loved By 4 Readers

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The Writer: Dan Alex

Born, writing, living, and most of all, dreaming. Baby steps, but eventually I know I will get to where I want to be. The journey may be long but it's not without its lessons. I hope that's 25 words. I hate doing bio's. Go to bio
Agent: Looking

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