Born into the wild wilderness of Northwest Indiana, I was above-average in all things academic and below-average in all things important. Having had my head filled with all manner of delusions of guaranteed success, I resolved to one day make my living creating the only things that made sense to me: film and television. This was, in retrospect, a rather foolish idea, and I should have instead tried for something more practical and easier to break into, like becoming the president or the first person to pitch a perfect game on Mars. I went to Indiana University of Bloomington, the finest collegiate institution that was willing to give me a discount. I got two degrees: one in Film Analysis,...
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